PARADIGMS

  1. PARADIGM 1: WOMEN WANT SEX. Fact: women enjoy sex. They love it. They will go to lengths to get it. Therefore, it is ok to talk sexual with her. Arouse her, get her blood level rising. And ultimately, the two of you will have sex.

  2. PARADIGM 2: SEX WILL HAPPEN. Sex is as likely as the chances of her showing up to the date in the beginning. Accept this as a fact, and the flow of the date leads you two fucking. Be confident in your abilities and accept that sex between the two is as likely as the sun rising in the morning.

  3. PARADIGM 3: YOU ARE THE CATCH. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. She is there to win your attention. You know you have fully embraced this paradigm when she doesn’t impress you so you politely leave. Which brings me to the next paradigm.

  4. PARADIGM 4: HAVE THE ABILITY TO WALK AWAY. Dating and negotiation are twins in this world, principles that apply to one often apply to the other. Consider the following scenario: your boss tells you you cannot leave the negotiating room without a deal. If the opposing party discovers this, you’re fucked. They will put you through the wringer, get everything they want, and leave you with parcels. It is your ability to walk away at any moment that gives you strength, makes the other party chase you, and allows you to reap the benefits. The same goes with dating. You show her that you are not reliant on her and she will come to you if she likes you and is worth it.

  5. PARADIGM 5: VIEW HER FOR WHO SHE IS, NOT FOR THE SEX YOU WANT. This is similar to the previous paradigm. If you don’t like her as a person and as a human being, just move on. Don’t just stick it through for the sex. The sex probably won’t happen with someone like that, and even if it does it probably won’t be that good.

  6. PARADIGM 6: REALITY IS FLUID. IT IS A CONCEPT BASED ON THE SENSES AND INPUTS THE MIND RECEIVES. If you believe it is possible, you can use this belief to shape your reality. Make the “impossible” possible. And sex is simply a construct of the reality you choose to perceive. Perceive that sex is yours, and it will happen. Have proper planning, adequate confidence, good body language, and sex is pretty much guaranteed.

  7. PARADIGM 7: If you have not control over it, don't waste time worrying about it. I've had girls text me the next day saying that they didn't feel a connection. I felt fine about this because at this point, I have no influence over how they feel. It would be a stressful waste of time to worry about something like this. When something unfortunate happens and you have no ability to alter the outcome, the best thing you can do is move on.

  8. PARADIGM 8: You know you've made it as a somebody if you have enemies. So go out there and make enemies. Too many people avoid conflict at all costs, willing to swallow a loss in order not to hurt any feelings. If you go through life trying to appease everyone, you're going to be disrespected and thrown to the side. Ruffling feathers isn't a bad thing, especially when the person deserves it. Stand up for yourself, fight for your rights, and be willing to lose people on your life journey toward success.

  9. PARADIGM 9: Treat the date like a game of chess, not like a game of Jenga. Most of us have the false notion of going into a date trying to say the perfect line every time, never make a mistake, and be sure to have positive feelings throughout. We treat the date like it's a game of Jenga: one slip up and everything collapses. This is false. In fact a date is more similar to chess. It is a game of strategy, confidence, and strength. Any slip up can be compensated with boldness, in fact turning the potential weakness into an asset.

  10. PARADIGM 10: If you want her to like you, you have to like yourself first. Do this right now: take a piece of paper and write 10 qualities about yourself that make you a prize. Then write 10 accomplishments you've achieved. This positive reinforcement will enable you to talk to her with the necessary confidence to seduce her.

  11. PARADIGM 11: Your highs better not be that high, your lows better not be that low. I call this the Bond Mentality (written in a previous post as The 007 Mentality). If you notice James Bond, or Agent 007, never smiles. He never laughs and never cries. No matter what the mission throws at him, he takes it all in stride, with a razor sharp focus on completion. Similarly, you should learn to develop the habit of not celebrating with every minor victory as well as not get disheartened with every minor setback. Your base is 0. Something good happens, you feel +1. Something bad happens you, you feel -1. But you always revert back to your equilibrium base of 0. Mood swings are dangerous and emotionally tolling.

  12. IT’S MORE THAN LOGISTICS. IT’S ABOUT GEOGRAPHY. Everything should be walking distance. The place you her will be walking distance to the bar which will be walking distance to the park which will be walking distance to your apartment. Whatever you do, it is critical that your lay location is walking distance from at least where you meet her. The probability of you bringing her home drops precipitously if you have to drive or take public transportation. While it’s not impossible, it’s an unnecessary hurdle to overcome.

IMPORTANT NOTE: ALWAYS SIT AT A BAR 90 DEGREES FROM HER. NEVER SIT AT A TABLE. THIS IS FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:

  1. I can put my arm around her at the bar

  2. I can kiss her neck

  3. I can kiss her mouth

  4. I can finger her

  5. I can hold her hand

  6. I can get close to her.

YOU CAN’T DO SHIT SITTING ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER AT A TABLE.

CONVERSATION NOTES:

  1. Have prepared stories. Stories build both comfort and value.

  2. Avoid interview mode. Don’t pummel her with questions.

  3. Talk. Slowly. Talk. Just. Like. You. Are. Reading. This. Sentence.

  4. Take pauses in your speech.

  5. Build tension. Embrace conflict. If she says something wrong call her out on her shit. Do it. Don’t be a puppy dog.

  6. Ask questions you care to know the answer for. Body language and tonality are everything. If you are asking questions to fill time she will figure that out and the date will go flat.

  7. Talk about her passions. Uncover what makes her tick.

  8. Be able to ramble. While deliberate pauses are encouraged, a lack of being able to say something can be perceived as a lack of attraction and you do not want this.

  9. Most of communication is body language. Without delving into the complexities of body language, just make sure you have open body language and position her body to have open body language.

CONFIDENCE

  1. Confidence is fundamental and confidence starts with the fundamentals. Exercise, good grades, a steady job, adequate sleep, a social circle, these are all just basic. If you are shaky in any of these areas it will affect your confidence and that just may ruin you.

  2. Two steps forward one step back. I have never had a date end because I tried to go to far. I have left dates with regret that I didn’t go too far. So push the limits. Go for the handhold. Go for the kiss. Go for the fuck. If she politely declines, politely move back and work your way back up again.

  3. Confidence comes from preparation. Prepare for your date. A date is not improv, and you’re not some improv king. Be serious, write out what you plan to talk about, where you plan to go, and how everything should go overall.

RANDOM NOTES

  1. Always be prepared to pay for the date. If this bothers you let it go.

  2. CALL HER OUT. CALL HER SHIT. CALL HER NAMES (good and funny). TEASE HER. FUCKING MAKE HER WORK FOR YOUR APPRECIATION. You are not a charity, people need to deserve your respect. Push-pull. We appreciate what we work for.

FRAME

  1. On a date, the girl has entered my frame. I am the one who maintains the tempo of the conversation, the venue changes, who escalates, and who dictates the general terms of the interaction. Girls love this. They love being led. I am doing the work, but at the end it is well worth it.

  2. Unless I murder someone, I never ever apologize. Never. If I say something wrong I can rephrase it, change the subject, or make a joke out of it. Apologies are weakness, not vulnerability. They also just put a damper on the whole situation.

  3. A girl has to appeal to me. Even with regard to having sex, she has to earn it. We appreciate what we have to work for, and we are almost always disgusted by what comes to us for free. So make her work for it.

PUSH-PULL

  1. Here’s a metaphor: a roller coaster. What makes it so thrilling is that it goes up AND down. If it just went up or just went down, it’d get boring fast. Similarly, if your interaction is only positive reinforcement you are doing it wrong. You need to give her an experience she will remember, and this means taking her on an emotional roller coaster. Ecstatic highs, equally important lows.

  2. Highs: These are easy. These include compliments, flattery, and physical escalation.

  3. Lows: These are EQUALLY AS IMPORTANT. These include negs, pullbacks, and insults said in a sympathetic way.

ABUNDANCE

  1. When she texts you, take a breath before responding. Make her anticipate that you have a life, and a good one. One where she is important, but not what your life revolves around.

  2. Abundance isn’t just about what you have at this exact moment, it’s also about what you will have in the future. Your potential. So if you have few women in your life right now, but you work out, read, and better yourself daily, your potential is high, and therefore treat yourself with the abundance you will soon have.

  3. Thirst and desperation is one of the most unattractive traits out there. Avoid it at all costs. And remember: There are 3 billion more women out there man. Go out and conquer.

RAGE AND SERENITY

  1. In the movie X-Men: First Class, Professor X tells Magneto that true focus lies at the point between rage and serenity. Once Magneto realizes this, he is able to accomplish unbelievable feats with his power, including lifting a giant submarine in the air. This concept of Professor X's can also be applied to seduction. Within us there are belief systems built upon the emotions of pain, anger, and sorrow. These need to be balanced with memories of experiences of joy, faith, and love. Together, these forces harness a powerful energy that enables you to become charismatic. And people gravitate toward the charismatic.

  2. At first glance, emotions like anger and rage can be seen as bad or detrimental. However I think that they are very much useful and even necessary emotions. Rage and anger can abruptly light a fire that burns inside of you, causing you to want to take action. However if you let this flame get out of control, then you will have thrown logic out the window and will be operating solely on emotion. This is where serenity and peace come in. They calm that fire to something more like the burning of coal.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

  1. It is not our thoughts, it is our actions that are all that matter in this world. Action, decision, implementation are what people remember. It is those who go out there and make it a difference in their lives and in the world are who are remembered. So go, get out there a seize what you deserve.

  2. If we can land a man on the moon, you can stick your dick in someone’s vagina. It's possible. And more probable than you expect.

  3. TAKE RISKS. TEST THE LIMITS. The majority of limitations are in our mind and are in fact nonexistent in the real world.