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[–]KirthWGersen69 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yeah, open up to me usually means, "Show me your hand so I can outplay you."
Show an insecurity means, "Give me ammunition to use against you in the future."
None of this is hard to deal with if you play the game right and understand that men and women communicate differently. Because just as often as the above mean the things I said, they are a test to see if you are the kind of fool who will fall for such obvious manipulation. If you fail the test, she can't respect you so much.
Like it or not, you have to play the game. It is part of being human. But you can choose to use that power maliciously or for the good of all concerned.
[–]TheRedPillRipper9 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
None of this is hard to deal with
I’ve never really understood why it’s an issue. TRPer’s should master their social skills. It’s a simple skill, but pivotally beneficial.
Women want to feel connected
This is the key. It’s doesn’t matter how. They just have to feel connected. My simple way is to preface all my responses to my wife first, by repeating back what she’s said.
e.g. Wife: ”I feel like a holiday.”
Me: ”If you feel like a holiday, take the kids down to the beach.”
Or another solid prefacing statement is; ”Let me get this straight..”
Simple prompts(that become habit), to demonstrate you’re listening. As women don’t really need to listen to you. They’re more concerned with what you’re doing.
Godspeed and good luck!
[–]chromozom-19 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I disagree.I maintain the view of Freud, that in vulnerabilities lies our strength.
I was so insecure being a virgin, and I got the girl I liked by showing my true state. It works the way, that when people open up, it's often reciprocal, as we are emotional beings. Stating that I'm virgin and next admitting other feelings and thoughts were firsts steps to create a connection. I don't aim for sex without connection as some people here.
And as you make yourself vulnerable, there is the other side of it that you know/are conscious of your insecurities AND you are willing to work on that. And if the other person identifies that there is lots of work before you, they can leave, but it should not affect you, as you still have the development in front of you.
I aim for authenticity
[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me38 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Beta pill fantasy conditioning. Theres nothing sexy to a woman about a guy being vulnerable.
[–]chromozom-12 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
What instances of "vulnerability" can you describe?
Two instances would be
- I admit I'm reading some book
- I give my sincere compliment
Both of those are polarizing, the book topic is not interesting to everybody, you can end up as not interesting (nothing sexy)
If I give compliment, it might be observation which is not "wanted" by somebody, so it's again polarizing, and not necessarily sexy.
I would argue being vulnerable is risking it, as you are polarizing.
That its not necessarily sexy for all of girls, thats ok with me, as I prioritize my own interest (my book, and my observations)
Calling that beta pill fantasy, seems like fixed-idea mindset. But I prefer to be open.
[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me16 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Stating that I'm virgin and next admitting other feelings and thoughts were firsts steps to create a connection. I don't aim for sex without connection as some people here.
Dude, you need to read the sidebar ASAP.
[–]GayLubeOil19 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This is complete butchering of Freud
[–]max_peenor15 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ug.. I need a tampon after reading that.
Strength lies in not giving a shit. Trade the outcomes of your power for pussy, not the power itself.
[–]matthew_giraffe13 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
So you recently used to be a virgin and now you want to give advice?
I stopped reading right there.
[–]Kyomeii2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I believe that it depends on how you own your own vulnerability.
Do you lament yourself, like some weak bitch?
Or do you recognize it as a weakness and embrace it as part of yourself?
There IS strength in weakness, but only if you make your awareness of it, a part of your strength.
[–]taytrovert41 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
They've got men in the friend zone waiting for his chance to "communicate" his whole life to her. Meanwhile they're getting railed by men they claim is doing everything wrong. This is why you don't take dating advice from women.
[–]Dravous3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
he addressed this a bit. women look for that guy only to find out another one just like her got to him first. kind of like spinster musical chairs...
[–]taiwan-kit3130 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Can confirm 100%. I've had some deep admissions eventually used against me when the relationship got rocky, or when I broke up with a girl.
Don't play that game. Doesn't matter if you've been with the girl 3 months or 3 years. These cunts are shameless in what they'll use to play against you.
[–]Funny_Wolverine_921 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Quality post. As a divorced man, I can confirm most of the points made in this post.
[–]PillUpAss17 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Good god that’s long.
Men with abundance have no problem with providing direct communication and, here’s the important part, reading indirect communication (watch what she does).
The problem occurs when men without abundance try to communicate directly - that’s ugly. Then top it off with being tone def to woman’s native tongue (indirect) - and we have a special formula for autism.
[–]jonathan_0692_1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Hahaha while stupid guys that write these type of comments can't do shit because they don't wanna push the boundary fearing they gonna seem too autistic and retarded for women to give them the pussy, I remember this guy who really would be labeled as a real autistic dude and not the light shit guys post in here, he would approach many women, and be pretty bold and forward about his intentions, I would feel bad of watching him doing so, but this guy didn't care at all and I think got more pussy in one year that 90% Of men here.
Having a damn pussy laying in your dusty couch is not as hard as you guys think it is, PRAGMATISM.
[–]PillUpAss0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You’re missing part of the point, nowhere did I say to fear it. Fix it, then go forth and conquer. And if you don’t acknowledge it, you cannot fix it. Also, this isn’t just about getting laid, it’s about getting everything you want from women, including getting laid.
[–]PiperBigBell10 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Damn, it really sucks that you went through the effort of writing an aimless post like this.
You would have been better writing a fourth of the content centered around what good communication from a man is, from the standpoint of manhood, and why as a man it only matters what you want in the communication and happiness.
Most times in my experience when a woman wanted me to open up, it was because they couldn't believe someone like me would want them. They wanted to humanize me so they didn't feel like shit or like they were being lied to.
The more high value you are in comparison the more confused and out of place she feels. If a woman tells you she wants you to open up more 9/10 times it's because you legitimately suck at conversation. They don't want deep dark secrets. They want to feel your energy and vibe.
They want to connect with you through a wide range of emotions while you hold your emotional centeredness. They want to feel your mission and manhood through your words. They're literally trying to further submit to you.
You just interpret that as them wanting you to submit to THEM.
[–]DS_19001 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It’s aimless like many women’s communication styles…
[–]Ivabighairy16 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I’ve never met a woman who was a good communicator
[–]bouncypoo4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'll tell you the secret: "Do whatever the **** you want to do". IF you die tomorrow will you get a medal for "communicating well". IF you communicate with her it should be more along the lines of stating your directives on what and how she can better add to your life. How she can make things easier for you. Obviously you provide comfort here and there for LTRs but don't ever go off the deep end, if you ever feel like you are being emasculated or feel like less of a man( and you will know deep down), you are communicating too much...you are submitting to her frame.
[–]R3Tr0tt3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Even my own mother shamed me and insulted me with my own insecurities and secrets( some of them are medical conditions) i thought she would tell no one. It hurt so bad hearing her yelling these things and telling me i deserve it to be like that or have that happened to me. If a mother could do that to her son, why couldn't your wife or girlfriend?
[–]Yashugan003 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
"communication" often mean "I want the other person to do what I want,"
And this is how women approach Counceling. They're bringing in another fulcrum to bend reality. If she doesn't get what she wants out of counceling, if her bullshit isn't catered to, she'll leave councelling. It's the same economic principle that won the nobel prize in economics: why you can only find lemon cars in the second hand dealerships. eg: why counceling is not in the man's side.
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[–]IAmTheOneWhoSlaps2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
What happened to this post?
[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I’ve never really understood why it’s an issue. TRPer’s should focus on mastering their social skills. It’s a simple skill but pivotally beneficial.
This is the key. It’s doesn’t matter how. They just have to feel connected. My simple way is to preface all my responses to my wife, first by repeating back what she’s said. e.g. Wife: ”I feel like a holiday.” Me: ”If you feel like a holiday, take the kids down to the beach.” Or another solid prefacing statement is ”Let me get this straight..” They’re just simple prompts that demonstrate you’re listening. As women don’t really mind too much, about listening to you. They’re more concerned with what you’re doing.
[–]neverendingplush-1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
i read two sentences and gave up, but i think u wrote something about communicating. We really gotta stop overcomplicating talking to these bitches. In some weird way it seems like we are still pandering to them in blue pill fashion but looking through a red lens.
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[–]KirthWGersen69 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]TheRedPillRipper9 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]chromozom-19 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me38 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]chromozom-12 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me16 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GayLubeOil19 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]max_peenor15 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]matthew_giraffe13 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Kyomeii2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]taytrovert41 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Dravous3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]taiwan-kit3130 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Funny_Wolverine_921 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PillUpAss17 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]jonathan_0692_1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PillUpAss0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PiperBigBell10 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]DS_19001 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Ivabighairy16 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]bouncypoo4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]R3Tr0tt3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Yashugan003 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]IAmTheOneWhoSlaps2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]neverendingplush-1 point [recovered] | Copy Link