Hello gentlemen. I wanted to share with you quickly how I came to find this amazing community as the wounds are still fresh, and it's amazing to me how much I overlooked.

About a year and a half ago, I was living on my own, chasing my dreams, attacking my goals, just being a dog in general. I grew up a shy skinny kid, so all the effortless attention from women really confused me but I just rolled with it.

Anyway, out of the blue, this chick who I haven't seen in two years and who lives two hours away reaches out to me. It's like she could sense I was living on a whole new wavelength. This girl was gorgeous, she drove two hours every weekend and would spend the whole weekend blowing me, cooking for me, praising me, cleaning my place up while I worked. The sex was mind blowing and it was fantastic.

When I look back now I realize it all started to go wrong way sooner than I thought it did. I was about to enter her one night and the words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth. Seriously didn't mean to say it. Soon after she talked about moving in together and I went along with it in my cum daze.

We moved into my parents house while waiting to move into our one bedroom. I was planning on studying abroad and decided it was best if we stayed at my parents place for the year and move out when I get back, sparing her the responsibility of rent for the length of my trip. Looking out for her essentially.

Anyway, after working like a dog attempting to save money for our move, when out of nowhere her sister-in-law dies. I did what I was supposed to do: held her, told her it would be okay. But when she told me she didn't want me going with her to the funeral, my gut got weird and I got openly inquisitive.

Fast forward a week after she returns. I find out that while she was "grieving" she went to a party, got blasted, and made out with her ex-boyfriend. I cried when she told me, another big mistake. I should've had her packing right there. Instead I told her I wanted us to "get through this" and "figure it out." When I asked her why it happened, she said she didn't feel bad because she was "vulnerable and I wasn't there for her in the right way."

I'll admit this was my first real relationship at 22. Never been cheated on, never really said I love you and meant it, certainly never lived with a chick.

I did what I thought would work: I made this chick breakfast in bed, showered her with praise (she has daddy issues, as he abandoned the family) and patiently put up with her increasing hostility towards me, thinking that if I showed her how awesome of a boyfriend I really was (I was inattentive at the beginning, which I see now is what turned her on) she would regret what she did and eventually beg for forgiveness.

The opposite happened. She started being really shady about her phone, going out with friends a lot more (and getting way more drunk when she did) and was just generally not interested in me at all (very hostile at times, no sex, farted a lot in front of me)

Things just got more tense between us. Never really any huge blowout fights, just a weird constant growing tension. One night I overheard her on the phone saying how she missed being single, and it all just hit me like a wave. I was pissed. So I waited a bit after she hungup and asked her if there was a part of her that wanted to be single. When she said yes, I said, wish granted. She packed her bags a couple days later and left.

What was weird is how she treated me after that combination. She was the affectionate, sweet, girly girl that I remember. She rubbed my back, would sit in my lap, we even had sex right before we left. Right before she drove away, she asked me if we could ever be friends, to which I of course responded "nice try" (I had already been doing some reading on TRP by then.)

The thing I hate to admit is, there's a part of me that really misses her. She really was a sweet, affectionate, feminine presence (who LOVED to fuck) I'm angry at her for doing what she did, but I'm equally as angry at myself, because I know that if I had been less weak, there's a chance she probably wouldn't have done what she did. I plan on not reaching out to her, period, for a month. And once I do, I'm considering telling her that I don't ever want to try this again, don't want to see her again, hear from her again etc. (She had mentioned that she just needs space and isn't opposed to getting back together one day) Telling her that, from the research I've done, will either have her come crawling back, or it won't. Starting to care less and less. Curious about opinions.