FR: My First Approach Ever

czmtzc · 2017-02-09T22:24:44+00:00

Well, you know what, you didn't REALLY get rejected, it was an excuse that keeps her options open.

You planted a seed.

V4PINDT1992 · 2017-02-09T17:58:09+00:00

I agree with the first comment. Seed planted. Continue to talk and flirt with said girl. If she is acting shy, or playing hard to get, that means you can continue to practice game.

MattyAnon · 2017-02-09T19:51:58+00:00

"You trying to get some food in the cafe right now then?" / "oh, I kinda gotta study with my friend"

How is this a rejection? You aren't leading and you aren't asking for something. You are asking what her plans are and she told you. That's not a rejection because you've not tried anything.

For all she knows you are literally just asking her what her plans are.

Women are extremely weirdly negatively conservative in what constitutes being asked out. It's like they'll look for every way possible that it's not being asked out - she really doesn't want to say "yes, I'd love to go on a date with you!" and have you turn around and say "oh, I didn't mean a DATE". To avoid this she treats your offer as the lowest/least meaningful it could be, which is to assume you're just asking her plans.

If she knows you like her, and she thinks you are being weak (ie rejection avoidant) in asking her out, she'll feel that you're putting responsibility onto her, and will lose attraction (because you've lost polarity).

Equally you shouldn't ask for too much, but should definitely be leading/asking for something. For example in this situation: "come have lunch with me".

She might still say "can't, busy", but she could well rearrange or make it clear she wants you to reschedule.

sea_weasel · 2017-02-09T18:24:01+00:00

Well done brother. I suggest you start talking to other girls in the same class, make it abundantly clear she's an after thought.

King-Macbeth · 2017-02-09T17:55:41+00:00

She didn't straight up say "No."

Don't push her, but you will get another chance.

Xiphos462 · 2017-02-09T19:07:53+00:00

i would have said.

"I'm about to head down the cafe and grab something to eat...wanna come and watch?" ha

Bambam22bam · 2017-02-09T19:59:56+00:00

I wish I had TRP knowledge at your age. You should go about your life at University just as you did with her. It really is a numbers game and her rejection says nothing about you or your quality. You did the right thing and I urge you to keep it up. She will see you with other women and you will instantly be more attractive to her in that light. She might even put herself out there for you at that point, but it doesn't matter anyways because abundance is your permanent frame.

ch1584 · 2017-02-09T18:53:06+00:00

Good work, those are the moments that make you an eventual success. Not necessarily a rejection. She knows what's up now and you can move on to the next one

RedditAdminsSuck_88 · 2017-02-09T19:52:49+00:00

Good job on the approach. Also good on posting a negative field report. Wish we got more of those around here, they reflect reality more.

bowie747 · 2017-02-09T22:03:24+00:00

Wednesday night. 3 cuties chatting on the other side of the bar. Walk over and make a little small talk. "Mind if I sit down?" - "Mm yeah we do mind actually we're in the middle of something". Ouch. Whole bar saw that. No matter.
Last night. Having a cigarette out front of pub. Group of girls walk past. "Hey, where are you girls going in such a hurry?" - "Away from you" all giggle. Ouch. A few strangers saw that. No matter.
Later last night. Two girls walk past, possible IOI from one. Go over and make small talk. "Umm can you just excuse us? We're trying to enjoy ourselves". Ouch. Whole pub saw that. No matter.
Later last night, in a different area of the pub. Two cute English girls sit near us, possible IOI from one. Walk over and sit near them, make small talk. Turns out we have mutual friends. Suddenly I'm a king smooth talker, they're both laughing. I'm composed and resilient to their shit tests. They come and sit back with my mate and I. Have a good time chatting a flirting for a couple of hours. They leave and give us numbers.

1/4 ain't bad! Rejection isn't as painful as you think it's going to be. The strangers that see you get rejected would admire your courage. Even the girls who rejected you would admire your courage. Besides, you'll never see any of them again.

Andgelyo · 2017-02-09T21:09:07+00:00

Keep doing it. Realize that nobody really gives a shit about all this in the end. You'll be okay kid.

mismm · 2017-02-09T19:24:30+00:00

"You trying to get some food in the cafe right now then?"

Can anyone translate to English?

SkorchZang · 2017-02-10T00:25:28+00:00

Game's definitely not over yet.

If you'd like a little bit of advice, next time you're around this girl, make her a lazy but overt kinda proposition. Something like (in the middle of a bs convo with her): "hey listen...no listen, stop giggling... ever since I saw you on day one here, I can't help myself thinkin you're kinda cute...and we should grab coffee together to see if you're as fun as you look...what say you"

It's this kind of "shocking" approach you need now, something that injects overt romance and puts your balls right on the line for her to say "NO" (if she wants). The magic is that, even if she says no, she will have witnessed first hand the full gloriousness of your balls o' steel, which never fails to make an impression on a girl.

Red Pill thinking opens your mind. It's your birthright to make girls awkward, shy, giggly, blushy and tingly. This is something to relish and enjoy throughout your whole life. It absolutely doesn't matter what the girls say back, even if they all reject you 100% of the time.

Keep working on other girls too, don't let this one eclipse your entire universe.

TheNoncaringMurse · 2017-02-09T19:30:47+00:00

Good job, you'll learn to love that second or two before she says yes or not. Just curious what country are you in?

Zrex90 · 2017-02-09T19:56:49+00:00

Try to word it better next time, like "hey im going to have lunch, I heard they have rly good "random dish", wanna come ?".

that way you're making it seem like you're going there anyway and she can either come along or not. but good job OP, and i wouldnt call this a rejection .

Oprahforpresident · 2017-02-09T21:45:22+00:00

You will get another chance in all likelihood. Odds are she thought about it a lot afterwards.

EmSeeElRoy · 2017-02-09T22:34:36+00:00

Should have tried to get her number OP.

Honestly though I agree with everyone here, I wouldn't take this as a rejection. I tend to give a girl 3 chances before I completely next her. If she rejects your advances after the 3rd time you ask her out then forget about it.

greatslyfer · 2017-02-09T23:07:16+00:00

I approached a girl on a boat... yes a freaking boat haha.

It was a small ferry ride that lasted 1-2 hours. We were all taking our seats, not all at once of course so I sat down with my family spread around a few seats here and there while we waited for the expected departure in a few minutes. Yes, you read that right, my family was pretty much close to me at all times during the ferry ride.
One might think "Dude, you actually approached EVEN WITH your family possibly watching you?" and yea, honestly idgaf, I thought a girl was hot and I went for it.

She was a Korean girl, real purty and shit yea, and I was just glossing over her for about a few minutes or so till I built up the courage to go ask her out on a date. I was getting VERY nervous as one would expect, and was basically forcing myself to go ask her out. How?
I said to myself "I'm going to count down from 20. When I'm done with 1, I'm going." Notice how there weren't any more thoughts after the "I'm going." part. Basically to not let any negative thoughts have an opportunity to form in my brain and fuck up my action taking.

"5...4..." Oh shit.
"3...2..." Umm....
"1" No thoughts here, I just fucking winged it mate haha.

Stood up, went towards her, bent down in a fucking awkward position, and tapped her shoulder.

The rest was her basically having a hard time talking English, so we pretty much just blanked it after a minute or so of talking.

But hey, at least I'm more confident now when approaching women :)

LongSchlongAIDS · 2017-02-09T23:20:27+00:00

In my old beta ways, I already know what I would have done. I would have simply sat behind the girl and fantasized about her the whole semester. The last day of class I would watch her walk out the classroom for the last time and think "What if I had asked her out?".

Haha, that hits home. One thing I've noticed by following the Red Pill's advice is that I don't have to fantasize because I am able to just ask and face rejection.

By the way, that wasn't a solid no because you didn't ask her directly. Ask her to go out for coffee or the park of something. You still got a chance.

pirateninj4 · 2017-02-09T23:29:19+00:00

This is what TRP is made for. Gold post, well written. Good for you mate. Now nail one of her friends!

SeeThisThrough · 2017-02-09T23:46:57+00:00

My first approach was on a girl who regularly came into the place I was working at. I eventually stopped asking for her number and just gave her mine and told her to call me sometime. She texted me that same day and I set up a time to meet up.

On our first date she told me that she had a crush on me after I had asked for her number the first time, but was too nervous to let me know. ALMOST A YEAR HAD PASSED and she never forgot that initial approach.

The time between I was working on game so the first date was just like any other, but hearing that she had been trying to figure out a way to ask me out for a year was kind of a surprise. After that reveal, closing the deal was a cakewalk

Just thought I'd share cause you never know what that first interaction will turn into later down the road

big_ol_boners · 2017-02-10T01:00:43+00:00

Highly suggest not having them make a decision on the spot, can be too much pressure.

Asking for a later meet up time will do better for you. Good luck!

Zchavago · 2017-02-09T19:44:22+00:00

You gotta feel something, bro. I mean you're not like 40 years old.

WadKnock · 2017-02-09T22:14:30+00:00

boi i can't wait to go to college and be able to meet new people that will hate me for being a self loathing asshole

Gay4Pancakes · 2017-02-09T20:39:13+00:00

A couple things. One, this was cringey. Two, you didn't really ask her out. Three, you obviously did feel something. Don't lie to yourself. Four, just be cool around her and ask her out again if you like her. Wait until you know she's into you. If she ain't into you, you got bigger problems.

Djbbst · 2017-02-09T19:24:36+00:00

No problem is a beta response. You are still thinking beta. Should have said your loss. Or just laugh and walk off.

Title	FR: My First Approach Ever
Author	anon37281
Upvotes	316
Comments	69
Date	February 9, 2017 5:03 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5t184i/fr_my_first_approach_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-my-first-approach-ever.40762 https://theredarchive.com/post/40762

Comments