How do you deal with unrelenting rejection?

Jessie_James · 2015-07-16T18:58:11+00:00

The only common denominator in all your failed relationships is you.

This was a demotivator poster I came across when I was in the same place.

Let me ask you this - what have you done to educate or improve yourself?

I'm constantly being rejected by girls

What books have you read in the past year on dating, flirting, body language, and so forth? How much time have you spend applying those principles, trying new techniques, making note of failures, and changing your approach?

I've applied to 60+ jobs in the past three months and haven't had a single offer.

How much time have you spent researching how to make your resume outstanding?

You work out, but how do you look? Are you wearing shabby, dirty clothes? Or do you have a nice, modern wardrobe?

If you were like me ... the answer is "none".

There are tons of resources out there, and I find books to be the most powerful sources of information, but if you don't educate yourself then you will get nowhere in this world.

ScholarInRed · 2015-07-16T20:07:45+00:00

I work harder to achieve acceptance.

It seems like I'm always facing rejection in all matters in my life

You're not rejected on here, are you? There you go, now you have an exception. This absolute language is disempowering exaggeration, don't use it on yourself.

Is this normal or am I doing something very wrong?

It's far more likely that you're doing a lot of things a little wrong. You're going to have to provide much more information about your situation in order for us to tell you either way. For now, I'll do my best.

I'm constantly being rejected by girls,

Go monk mode. Stop approaching them and improve yourself. Stop paying attention to women in public (to whatever extent you can manage, some ass will always turn your head) and don't approach. Treat them like furniture. Be rude, dismissive. This only applies to women in public, obviously be political with any female co-workers etc. If you're getting rejected constantly, you need to up and internalise your Game and SMV. You'll know when you've turned your tide because you won't stop getting harassed by women in public. Don't stop until this happens.

Despite people constantly telling me "you're so attractive" and "anyone would hire you with your skill set and accomplishments."

Fuck what they say, watch what they do. You're getting rejected; you're obviously not "so attractive". But you can and you will be, if you want it badly enough to work for it. This goes for both work and women, actually.

It's really permeating my mental state.

Meditate, lift, read a book, distract yourself with something productive. Some things in life a man must work through and overcome with deep thought. This kind of self doubt is not one of those things - improve yourself and stop convincing yourself it's permanent. If you say you can't think of anything productive with which to distract yourself, you're lying to yourself.

I still go to the gym

I'm not calling you out, but I've got a feeling your workouts feel like a chore. The fire is gone, isn't it? The hot-blooded fury you unleash on the iron is missing, isn't it? Please give more info. Lifting is fucking crucial.

and for being unemployed I feel like I'm doing a decent job at trucking through but holy f.

I'm in precisely the same boat right now. And I've been in the stage you're in right now - where you feel like you're doing everything you can and the world is fucking you over.

This advice may be hard to swallow but you're not doing everything you could. Looking back, I could have tried twice, maybe three times as hard to get a job a few of months ago. Of course at the time I thought I was the fucking man and the world was insane for passing me up.

60+ jobs in the past three months

That means you averaged (roughly) one application every 1.5 days. This logically demands that there were days on which you applied to zero jobs.

Those days were failures. You need to stop having failure days. To inject a little (semi-serious) humour into things; link.

pennypuptech · 2015-07-16T19:39:10+00:00

"Please sir, may I have another?"

jorgeluisrudo · 2015-07-16T20:10:40+00:00

I think you are doing it right: You are trying to improve while practicing what you are learning in the field. I think being uncomfortable with the results means you are making progress. Keep practicing; persistence pays.

moneyandsexislife · 2015-07-16T20:20:08+00:00

You're showing weakness, and it's having effects on your outcomes.

They're telling you what you want to hear because they can sense your weakness.

A low success rate with women is inevitable if you're direct and shooting high. You can be direct with women below you.

A high success rate with women is possible only indirectly with psychology.

It's almost the same with employment. Get a shit job to bring in income so that you're not so attached to each interview. Then you can go in, and they'll pick up on the fact that you don't really care and want you more.

When a woman says "you're so attractive", she means that you're barely above average at best.

They'll start to say without your asking "you're so hot!" or "I love your abs/muscles!" when you've fixed your body.

Get abs, bigger muscles, and a part time job.

OneRedYear · 2015-07-16T20:59:14+00:00

You're still better than every fuck who didn't even try. You'll probably win before they do.

beachbloke · 2015-07-16T21:58:22+00:00

Firstly, you have stated something irrational. You have just implied that you expect a result from your effort. That implies life is determinantal, which is false. So before doing anything else, you should internalize that you aren't getting shit just because you put in the effort.

Next, the hard parts of life are what builds character. This is your opportunity to be the person you would respect meeting. Stand the fuck up, get back to work, and don't stop for 16 hours. Do that again tomorrow. After tomorrow, do it again forever. If you have the character to expect nothing from that amount of work, you will certainly find a job. You will also respect yourself because you will have proven to yourself you will do what few will.

FrameWalker · 2015-07-17T02:15:31+00:00

From the heart of Redpill is the Anti-Dump manual:

"“Success= Not being attached to UNINTERESTED women .” and “Failure = Being attached to an UNINTERESTED women.” Being in an unhappy marriage is worse than being single."

At it's core this is the belief you must embrace. I've been getting a lot of rejection as well I know the feeling bud, but this is the truth. The pain of rejection is an illusion. The real pain is being divorce raped or dead bedroomed. Game can help you hook a girl, and if she likes how you fuck and you're her best option she'll be a very interested woman. Says nothing about whether you've succeeded. How many girls you slept with or how many plates you have says nothing about success. Success is walking around with your dignity, freedom, and balls in tact. No women required.

2015-07-16T20:26:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

putsch80 · 2015-07-16T19:10:49+00:00

On the girl front, you probably need to step back and spend time working on yourself. How is your physique? Your posture? Your weight? Your style? These are all things that matter.

Instead of doing approaches to get laid, maybe work on some day game where you just do approaches to have fun. Feel what it's like and what you need to do to approach women randomly and get them engaged and interested in you without the worry of trying to fuck them.. Removing that factor should make it easier to approach, and removes any worry of rejection that may be showing through.

For the job, what do you do? I don't just mean what do you want as a career, but what do you actually do? If I looked at your resume, what in it makes me think that you kick ass? What sets you apart from the others in the pile of paper? Are you the smartest? Do you have unique skills? Do you do things that I think would make you fun to have in the office? Figure out those strengths and emphasize them. If you don't have many or any, get involved with groups to develop them.

antidoxdevice · 2015-07-16T19:47:38+00:00

Im not sure if youre asking how to deal with emotional pain or looking for practical advice to get laid/a job. Im assuming the second.

How many girls have turned you down? If its 10 then dont worry about it, if its like 100+ then it depends on context. If they were all insta blowouts in clubs/bars then you need to work on face, physique, fashion, approach technique in that order. If its girls you talked to for more than 15 minutes then chances are youre boring or theres something turning them off but without more details no one can say.

For jobs, how many interviews have you had? If none then youre resume is shit, this could because your resume sucks or youre skill set isnt good enough for the level youre applying for. Otherwise your interview technique is off.

TRP_James · 2015-07-16T22:50:09+00:00

Congrats you're getting tons of experience on "What not to do".

Now sit down, figure out what those things are, and fix them.

RealGucciSosa · 2015-07-17T09:50:50+00:00

How bout this. Stop trying to pick up chicks & looking for a job at the same time? Why not just concentrate on the job first. Sometimes its lack of attention & concentration on one thing means you end up half-assing everything.

abertsa · 2015-07-17T15:48:59+00:00

How do you deal with unrelenting rejection?

work to improve yourself in life, and become your own worst critic.

Postboned · 2015-07-17T16:00:14+00:00

Move on and find someone else. There's absolutely no way that out of 100 women or 100 jobs not even 1 accepts you. If that doesn't work, try changing something. Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over again expecting things to change. Why do you go in every time with a set, stale plan and expect that this time it will work out fine?

Despite people constantly telling me "you're so attractive" and "anyone would hire you with your skill set and accomplishments."

This is a lie. Don't believe this shit. Even if people think that, the results show for themselves. In here, on this subreddit, people are more likely to tell you to go fuck yourself and stop being a bitch because the "nah you're just so amazing" is meant to not hurt your feelings.

NightGod · 2015-07-19T13:20:37+00:00

On the job front. Assuming your resume is as good as you say: either you are looking for a job in a crazily-competitive field, you're looking to be compensated above your worth or you are looking in the wrong places, your networking is shit or some combination of the four.

tsokabitz · 2015-07-16T19:24:20+00:00

stop being bad in the bad way

Modified_Hackware · 2015-07-17T09:36:45+00:00

You say you do a lot of reading... Well you didn't post this in asktrp and you didn't flair it correctly.

Perhaps reading isn't the problem, paying attention is.

Asoka11111 · 2015-07-16T21:01:52+00:00

Understand that rejection is not something to be dealt with, but to be accepted and even embraced. Remember this: when a girl rejects you, this means your perceived SMV did not meet her threshold. So, instead of feeling bad for not pulling, be happy that she was honest with you. The alternative is a pity date or fuck, which will really fuck your self-perception.

Title	How do you deal with unrelenting rejection?
Author	Eknecron
Upvotes	0
Comments	40
Date	July 16, 2015 6:52 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3djaix/how_do_you_deal_with_unrelenting_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-deal-with-unrelenting-rejection.34739 https://theredarchive.com/post/34739

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