How far is it worth changing yourself?

yaardi · 2015-10-20T20:51:02+00:00

It's not changing, you're becoming the man you were always meant to be but thanks to having a beta father, being surrounded by emasculating culture and listening to women you've wandered off the road and became a whining boy instead. Now you need to use your brains Nature was so good at giving you and reclaim your manhood.

radianceofparadise · 2015-10-20T22:08:28+00:00

IMO, you can get girls either way. By all means, be yourself. I don't think TRP means you shouldn't be. TRP is a sexual strategy. Don't take everything here as absolute truth. Take the parts that work for you in your real life and discard the parts that don't. TRP isn't about hating women for what they are, but it IS a place to come together to understand their nature.

There are a lot of people who are drawn here that are angry. Sometimes it can seem a bit negative, but it's because we were sold an illusion, and it can be frustrating to find out reality of the nature of a women doesn't match up with that illusion. Men have been marginalized, divorce-raped, cuckolded, exploited, and abused as a result.

TRP is about reclaiming our manhood when a lot of us never had the influence of a strong, manly figure in our lives to guide us. Question for you- Do you get more girls pre-TRP or post? You don't need to be a victim of analysis paralysis. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Anistrophic · 2015-10-21T07:42:06+00:00

It all boils down to your own happiness, which is internal, not external.

You know the paradox - once you stop caring about girls, girls start liking you more.

When you need a woman in your life, you are basing your happiness on something external.

This could go like this: I want to be happy - I need a girl. To get a girl, I need to do X, Y, Z. This means, "I need to do X, Y, Z so that I can be happy".

To the person who enjoys seducing girls, the process itself is fun, and doing different things (i.e., being detached, aloof etc.,) is fun in itself, because he is learning.

To the person who views getting a girl as a goal, this is hard work. He doesn't enjoy the process - he just wants the girl because that what he defined as a condition for his happiness. But this is an illusion, and she never lives up to the illusion. You simply end up doing things that you don't want to do (i.e., "not being yourself") to chase that glimmering hope of maybe next girl will be the one that makes you happy.

Think why TRP works. Really think about it, take your time, don't just read below to find the answer - stop reading, stand up, and spend a couple of days thinking about it.

.

..

...

I can bet a fiver you just scrolled down to read the answer. Because hey - if you can find it here, why waste time? I want the answer, not the thinking process itself.

"I just want the girl, not to do all those things."

TRP is your shortcut - it says what works, and what doesn't. But there is a damn good reason why women react to all the things the way they do. It works, because men that are already very successful - they already do all the things TRP writes about. And they don't think it is hard work - they just ARE like that.

I don't text her back for hours not to make her more attracted to me, but because I have shit to do.

I make fun out of girls not to get them - I make fun out of them because it is fun for me to do so.

I work out not just to get them to tingle, but because I value my health.

I am aloof not to get a girl, but because I just don't care if she is around.

If this is such a pain in the ass for you to get a girl, then don't get a girl. If it's such a hard work to become successful - then stay average, just like most of the people choose to be. Just don't whine later "Oh, life is not fair" - you did this all to yourself.

We all are exactly where we want to be.

Redrocketz · 2015-10-20T20:42:21+00:00

Short answer: no, absolutely not. Most people here would agree that a manly man does exactly what he wants, nothing more nothing less.

Those girls you mentioned that don't approve? Forget em, go find some that do.

TRP is needed for those guys who compromise themselves for one or really any number of women.

"You should be lifting" is advice for people who need to get off the ground.

I get what your saying though dude. I hate the bullshit rules like (and I'm exagerrating obviously) "only text in odd numbers, never show emotion, dominate your friends, enter a club with your right foot first..."

The most content, "alpha", grounded dudes I know don't do any sort of self improvement. They do what makes them happy. The most neurotic, insecure, anxious people I know hit the gym constantly in order to fix themselves.

I'm gonna do a post about this soon. It's gonna be legit, this is actually a topic I've been mulling over for a long ass time.

Pwnemon · 2015-10-20T21:52:20+00:00

I was mad at first, too. Then i realized TRP basically amounted to "prioritize yourself." The message is that you have to change to keep a girl, yes, but you only need to change as much as you want. There's no girl that's important enough to keep. It's a liberating realization.

As for "showing your true self," i assume you mean that you always wanted a woman you could be vulnerable around. We all did, society tells us that that's the end goal of a relationship. Society's full of shit. We need people we can be ourselves around but that's what non sexual male-male relationships are for. Cultivate some good, mature, honest, no-pretense ones and you won't care for a relationship with a girl anymore.

smvking · 2015-10-20T22:33:05+00:00

TRP helps you maximize your chances of succeeding with women. "Success" to you is whatever your current goal is.

Every interaction with a woman is a battle between you and her, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. It's like gravity. Gravity will affect you regardless of your acknowledgement.

The smarter, less painful, more efficient thing to do would be to fully understand what is going on and plan accordingly. This translates to being a cold calculated motherfucker.

bigcitytruth · 2015-10-20T22:39:47+00:00

I mean, it should be easy man.

The thing is this. Let's say everything was easy. You could sweep a girl off her feet by just doing the bare minimum. Now I step into the place and do something that's just a teeny-tiny-bit harder than your comfort zone, that the girl is attracted to. I just stole that girl from you.

It's hard because you've got competition. The strongest get the spoils. This is how it's been in the animal kingdom since the beginning of time.

It sucks but that's the way the world is. Work on changing your perspective. Think of it as a challenge to overcome, where victory is a reward for your hard work. For example, it's more satisfying to me to bed a woman who started out as a complete bitch when I first approached her, because I was up against a big challenge, than a woman who was super easy and compliant.

Derbi50 · 2015-10-21T00:31:01+00:00

I'm not sure I get what you are angry about. Pretty much the only required 100% musts of a red pill mind set are...

Better yourself through lifting plus whatever you want to do for your mind.
Put you first.

Thats it.

Everything after that, all the dark triad shit, all the PUA shit, all that fucking plates who are married with children shit, thats all optional. It is there so that if you want to be a honed razor sharp pussy smashing machine you have every possible tool known to the community, but its not like everyone needs those tools to smash or even wants to be that invested in pussy to the point where they have to put so much thought into it.

There are dudes who need every gauche trick in the book to smash a 4, and there are dudes who can sit on a park bench and have a new 10 to smash every night, and every dude in between out there.

No one is going to knock on your door and make sure you are toeing the RP party line. Use as much or as little of the info here as you need to satisfy yourself.

throwaway-aa2 · 2015-10-21T01:03:25+00:00

Is it really worth changing yourself to achieve success with women?

A simple question of evolution can solve this. The way we've evolved is to breed with people who have worthy qualities for our offspring. What does this mean? Usually better qualities can be tied to what ultimately attract women.

If the self you have doesn't attract women, yes it is worthy of changing... because you can't probably see how your current actions / beliefs / SMV is lacking, even to yourself. There are not a lot of things that women are repulsed by that you should actually value in yourself.

That doesn't mean listen to a woman's reasoning of what she is attracted to. That doesn't mean do something or don't do something because a specific girl likes it. But on a WHOLE if something you're doing is repulsing women or bad enough that it consistently works against you, then it's time to re-evaluate it. The things that attract women are gladly enough things that you'll always value after you do them. Things like being social and getting friends (social proof), lifting (aesthetics but for you it'll be strength and testosterone), dressing well (which puts you into a certain CLASS in terms of status & wealth and allows people to make snap judgements either positively or negatively and as you know, people base a lot of their judgements based on their first ones).

Red_Swords · 2015-10-21T01:46:54+00:00

You worry that changing yourself in order to reach a specific goal is a bad thing, but that's the type of logic people talk about here when they refer to things such as 'bluepill conditioning.' Change is a natural part of life, and the catalyst of all human progress in the world.

Our society largely tells you that intentional, personal change is bad. We tell you that it's good. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide for yourself; 'bad' and 'good' are subjective - there's no right or wrong answer.

If you don't want to change, then don't - nobody is trying to force you. But keeping that in mind, think about this: you came the TRP, TRP didn't come to you.

Maybe subconsciously, you want to change a little bit more than you think.

billhickswasright · 2015-10-21T03:30:28+00:00

You can still maintain your core values and your essence. It's about being a more confident version of who you already are. There's a bit of a cold, calculated feel to all of this, but when you consider women can be just as cold and calculating, it evens out. It doesn't mean you can't be warm and soft at times, but when the going gets tough, you'd better know where your balls are.

slerpaderp · 2015-10-21T05:31:26+00:00

Once you reach a certain point in your RP development, it actually becomes "just being yourself." After a certain point you won't have to think about it and you just behave in RP ways by default. It sounds like you are still calculating all these things and tripping up because you are still placing too much value in these interactions with these women. For true success you can't fake it. If you're spending your whole time during these interactions worrying about what you're going to do next, you just can't be successful. It needs to flow naturally.

cipahs · 2015-10-21T07:56:52+00:00

join a frat, wanna see some RP shit in action and hang around chads boom

or

make gymbro friends lift heavy and do a cycle.

both are eye openers

ELLEN_POO · 2015-10-21T11:17:24+00:00

You don't understand I don't think. TRP isn't about being cold at all. There is no reason why you should be cold and unfriendly to people all the time.

cocaine_face · 2015-10-21T22:47:11+00:00

You're still faking it. It isn't about faking it.

You naturally become the person that is attractive to women - you can be sweet to a girl, but you also need to have abundance and not take shit.

Having an iron frame is about actually believing in yourself and your judgment over what random ideas other people might have.

You have to want it enough - there's no one secret trick that will get you any woman you want with no effort.

DSJackLuminous · 2015-10-21T22:50:24+00:00

Personally, I never interpreted TRP teachings in that manner. Nothing about it prohibits us from being true to ourselves. In my experience, TRP has allowed me to modulate how I express my true self, because I now have an approximation of how women (and men) perceive my actions and my self.

Thinking in this manner after living differently for so long is like a skill, and I think it's one neither of us has mastered yet. Once we know the rules of this mundane and idiotic game, once we've integrated them into our true selves, that is where we can be ourselves in ways that would surprise the both of us.

A recent TRP post comes to mind. I believe it was called "The first time I met a red piller". Giving you a tl;dr is unjustifiable. It's almost fable-like.

If you still don't believe my argument about the rules of the game after reading that post, here is a Wikipedia summary of expertise according to Dreyfus' model of skill acquisition:

Expert: transcends reliance on rules, guidelines, and maxims -- "intuitive grasp of situations based on deep, tacit understanding" -- has "vision of what is possible" -- uses "analytical approaches" in new situations or in case of problems

NightwingTRP · 2015-10-21T00:08:06+00:00

Is it really worth changing yourself to achieve sucess with women?

This is possibly amongst the most retarded things I've read on TRP... either you've improved yourself and you're complaining about being better... in which case fuck you.

Or you're complaining that you need to fake yourself to be attractive to women... which if you're still faking it after 3 years... you've failed to internalise your attitude and game.... in which case fuck you.

Go calibrate your game properly instead of being a whiny woman. And yeah, your initial instincts were right... this belongs in AskTRP and not here. It has no value to the regular member.

Title	How far is it worth changing yourself?
Author	Tadse
Upvotes	6
Comments	24
Date	October 20, 2015 8:11 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3pjdmi/how_far_is_it_worth_changing_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-far-is-it-worth-changing-yourself.37372 https://theredarchive.com/post/37372

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