How to be kind, but not weak?

-drukpa-kunley- · 2014-05-31T16:05:40+00:00

Being "nice" is doing things because you expect a certain outcome.

Being "kind" is doing what is right (according to your rules, and yours alone), regardless of the outcome.

Niceness comes from a position of weakness. Kindness comes from a position of strength.

Think of a benevolent dictatorship or a monarchy. Your word is the final word, and yet you can act out of kindness when you are moved to do so, because that makes the world a better place.

[deleted] · 2014-05-31T15:13:49+00:00

Operate from a place of strength and offer help on your own terms.

SkorchZang · 2014-05-31T19:42:42+00:00

Strive for all your kind deeds to be as anonymous as possible.

That was what Buddha advised his students.

Never think back to all the kind things you did for someone, no patting self on the back. Either you do that shit because you can do no different, or stop fucking pretending and acting like a woman, who always has to make sure her good deeds are "seen" and "heard of".

Good luck dude, deep question!

StingrayVC · 2014-05-31T15:38:40+00:00

Define what kind means for yourself and never let anyone else decide what that means for you.

Women will use words like jerk to try to influence your behavior. Don't let them.

mayonesa · 2014-05-31T15:42:51+00:00

being kind, to men and women without projecting weaknesses

Do what's right and you are being as kind as one can be.

Kindness for its own sake, like cruelty for its own, is a surface attribute.

laere · 2014-05-31T17:03:52+00:00

Few approaches I take.

If someone does something nice for you, do something nice for them. Altruism
Doing kind things because YOU WANT TO and don't want anything in return.

These are the 2 principles I live by. There is a complete, and let me be clear, COMPLETE FUCKING DIFFERENCE in doing something because you want to and doing something to expect something in return.

Also remember do stuff because YOU WANT TO. Become your own man. Stop worrying on whether others here are complete assholes or not. Their are different ways of doing things.

qnzkingofcrunk · 2014-05-31T19:56:22+00:00

I'd like to add one more question here: What is the appropriate reaction when your kindness is taken for weakness?

[deleted] · 2014-06-01T02:33:18+00:00

I had a revelation the other day about this very subject. Might have been inspired by Rollo or Heartiste, but I can't remember exactly.

The thing to remember is that all good things, all kindnesses, all mercies must by their definition come from a position of strength. You must be strong, before you can be kind. Otherwise, any kindness you perform is tainted by the expectation of reciprocity, and it isn't truly kind.

I invite you to consider the following scene from my favorite BP guilty pleasure movie, Cold Mountain: our protagonist is mortally wounded, but is saved by an ancient, crusty goat-herder. What we learn through the course of his interaction with this goat-herder is that she is a lot stronger than appearances would lead you to believe. Strong enough to force herself through a slaughter. And because of this strength, she is able to be kind to Inman, and nurse him back to health.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3YFV72Jb9w

ALL KINDNESS AND GOODNESS COMES FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH.

RobbenQC · 2014-05-31T15:41:49+00:00

The difference here is kindness from within, because you have a genuine desire to be kind or show compassion towards someone else - and kindness to seek approval (specifically from women). If you catch yourself doing favours for women because you're attracted to them, you're being a beta.

RPSavant · 2014-05-31T20:57:05+00:00

first figure out why you want to be kind. What your motivation is.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-05-31T21:03:21+00:00

Interesting debate on 'nice' vs 'kind' but the dude asked how to balance kind (nice) without projecting weakness in the same short post he admits to BP flare-ups.

The answer is: Always err on the side of 'asshole' over 'nice.' Also, no covert contracts (doing something nice for somebody expecting something in return- usually sex). Your contracts need to be open and overt in order have the proper balance between nice and projecting weakness.

Occams_Shiv · 2014-05-31T21:55:48+00:00

With women, imagine you are her dad, or if you aren't already sleeping together, a sort of intermittently distracted uncle.

With men, just be cool dude.

We_Are_Legion · 2014-05-31T16:00:29+00:00

We often create a difference around here (out of necessity) between being "kind" and "nice". Kind is giving out of an abundance mentality(even if you are not actually in abundance), out of your own free will where you are entirely unattached about any sort of reciprocation or acknowledgement by the recipient of your actions. It is alpha(think of alpha as an imaginary ideal set of masculine qualities).

Nice is being the snivelling, manipulative BP who gives out of an unspoken subsconscious desire to be approved of, to be seen as attractive or validated as a good person, or in general just not offend anyone. It is sycophancy and obsequiousness.

rich02468 · 2014-05-31T18:02:41+00:00

You don't have to be a jerk. Often all you have to do is define boundaries clearly and in a level tone. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. If she asks about what she's wearing, and you don't like it, say so. Don't be a jerk, just tell her "I don't like it. You can do better." When you give her a genuine compliment it will be like diamonds to her. If a girl is going out of her way for you ie being sweet, fun to be around, cooks for you, be magnanimous. Take her out- tell her to block off Saturday and don't tell her where you're going. Tell her what to wear, and what time to be ready. Watch her go bananas with happiness as she tried to figure out what you're doing. Go someplace nice, take her dancing and bang her brains out.

Title	How to be kind, but not weak?
Author	qnzkingofcrunk
Upvotes	12
Comments	21
Date	May 31, 2014 2:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26yk8r/how_to_be_kind_but_not_weak/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-be-kind-but-not-weak.16107 https://theredarchive.com/post/16107

Comments