Women desire physical intimacy with men. This may seem obvious to many, but it’s something I want the less experienced prospective players to internalize. Now, with that being said, they obviously aren’t as eager to hookup like men are (due to possessing testosterone levels 12- 17 times lower than the average man’s), but nonetheless, they want men to be bold and make a move. Unfortunately, media such as television and film, have conditioned men into believing that their first time kissing or having sex with a woman must be some grand gesture, and that the right words have to be uttered at the most opportune time, which couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, going for a kiss isn’t a big deal, and it’s to be expected as dates presuppose physical attraction. In fact, even if your kiss is rejected, women will still respect that you had the courage to try. 

While it is unlikely that a perfect moment to kiss a girl for the first time will occur like in movies, they do have to be primed. That is, kissing her has to be congruent with your prior actions and behaviors throughout the date (or interaction). This is where most guys fumble. They barely touch the woman throughout the date, and attempt to kiss her at its conclusion, because that’s what they think they’re supposed to do, not realizing that doing so is incongruent with their actions beforehand. In order for a girl to be ready to be kissed, small steps have to be taken prior for her to comply. 

Kino Escalation 

In game, Kino Escalation (Kino) refers to physically escalating with women through touch, up until your desired outcome (normally making out or sex). What’s unique about Kino is that the touches, at first anyways, do not indicate sexual intent. They are ostensibly harmless, and do not suggest that your objective is to sleep with her. It is seamless and natural, almost as if you are naturally a touchy person. Gradually, the touches become more intimate, and eventually kissing occurs. When performing Kino on a date, the worst thing that can be done is indirectly demonstrating that you are touching her intentionally. This lowers her perceived value of you, because it suggests that you don’t understand female nature, how to escalate, and how to properly build attraction. There’s no judgment from me, but it’s how women think. They want a guy who’s been rewarded with physical intimacy from women, and revealing that you are touching her for the sake of it suggests that’s not the case. Remember, Kino is always seamless and natural, like water flowing in a stream. 

When cold approaching women during the day, I strongly advise against physical contact. While many pickup artists on YouTube will disagree with me, it’s rather creepy to have someone you don’t know, even if they are particularly attractive, touch you. Furthermore, there’s absolutely no reason to hug or hold hands with a girl you just met, and doing this isn’t necessarily going to increase  her attraction towards you. So – I strongly suggest you do not attempt to touch a girl at all during a cold approach.

In spite of this, and hopefully not to sound contradictory, I will acknowledge that there is a way to implement Kino when cold approaching during the day, just not in the weird way pickup artists display. When talking to women during cold approaches, I am almost always asked my age. I tell them to take a guess (this is playful and fun behavior), and when they answer correctly, I high five them. I don’t interlock fingers, or hold on for any significant amount of time, just a quick and innocuous high five, and women love this. In fact, every girl I have done this to has become visibly excited when it happens. So, if you are going to do Kino during a cold approach – which I still advise against – it has to be something as harmless and unsuspecting as a high five. Otherwise, you run the risk of being flagged as a creep. 

What Not to Do

Before I go into further detail about physical escalation, I want to give an example of how not to approach executing Kino. Years ago, I was on a date and I wanted to practice this skill. At some point during our conversation, I playfully accused her of lying, and told her that her nose was growing like Pinocchio. Smooth, right? I then began poking her nose with my fingers (wow, writing this physically hurts) so she would become comfortable with my touch. This is a horrible example about how to pursue physical contact for a few reasons. Firstly, I was invading her personal space (may appear obvious to some, but I was young and inexperienced), and secondly, it was clear that I was touching her for the sake of touching her, it wasn’t seamless and natural. I calibrated that she was annoyed with me poking her in real time, so I was able to recover and continue building attraction. Whatever you do, do not make it seem like you are touching her to intentionally be physical, she will think you are weird. 

Date Mechanics 

I want to emphasize that while being on a date with a girl does signify physical attraction, you should stop physically escalating at any point if she is visibly uncomfortable, says stop, or indicates that she doesn't want you to continue with your advances. Again, this is no big deal. If she doesn’t want to escalate at that instant, continue building attraction, recalibrate her readiness for physical contact, and try again. Sometimes a girl just won’t want to be physical with you for a myriad of reasons, and while it may be annoying, don’t fret. There’s millions of women on the planet, it’s no big deal if you strike out with one. 

Kino is often initiated at the beginning of a date when you first see her. She should be greeted with a proper hug (yes, there’s a way to hug properly). If you aren’t assured of your ability, watch this video. Don’t go in for a handshake, you’re on a date with a romantic interest, not a job interview; however, if your hug is rejected, don’t force it, and definitely don’t make a fuss about it. It’s no big deal, just mentally prepare yourself to build more attraction than ordinarily required to kiss her. 

While on the date, your goal should be to stimulate her emotions, build attraction, and physically escalate to procure your desired outcome (kissing or sex). While the details of what to do on a date with a girl is out of the scope of this article, they are discussed in almost all of my previous publications. 

Start small. Your initial touches should seem innocent, as the purpose of Kino is for your touch to become normal. I suggest doing something like giving her a slight touch/tap on the arms or shoulder with the back of your hand when talking to her. Ideally, it should be natural and not forced, so the touch should be very brief and not prolonged so it won’t appear as though you are touching her with sexual intentions. 

Now we gently turn the dial up by holding hands. At some point, assuming you are doing everything else correctly, you should hold her hand. Don’t make this a big deal, or be concerned about doing it too soon, just take your best guess as to when she’s ready for it and proceed. You have to be bold and take risks when dating, and you should never rely on women to make the first move, as that’s always the man’s job. Hand holding can occur as early as 5 minutes, or much later depending on your skill level and the woman in question. You don’t want to hold hands for too long, and you don’t want her to let go first. Her letting go first indicates that you are more attracted to her than she is to you, so you should always relinquish your hand first. 

The Kiss

There’s much contention surrounding whether or not men should kiss women on the first date, and here’s the deal: women, unless they are unicorns (traditional and devoutly religious) will have sex with men on the first date. The days of practicing abstinence or waiting until an emotional connection is established are long gone. So, yes, you can kiss a woman on a first date. 

Modern society has become so degenerate that young women have been brainwashed into believing that if a man doesn't attempt to kiss them on the first date, that he either lacks balls or isn’t attracted to them. Truly a shame. With that being said, if you are a man with honorable values, and you don’t want to kiss or escalate any further on the first date, don’t. Never compromise your values and beliefs to conform to those of society. 

After holding hands, it’s time to indirectly and nonverbally prepare her to be kissed. My preferred technique for doing this is by looking at her lips for a few seconds, then at her eyes, and then back at her lips, this communicates that I want to kiss her. Women have a very good understanding of non verbal and sub communications, so they’ll understand what you’re doing. If they are ready to be kissed, they will usually remain where they are, or move closer to you. Conversely, if they are not ready, they will most likely move away from you or look away. After assessing that she is ready to be kissed, don’t try to be smooth with your words like Shakespeare, just be bold and go for it.

Never ask a woman for permission to kiss her. This is feminine behavior, and women hate when guys do it. Women want a dominant and authoritative man who takes control and leads her. Men who possess these traits don’t ask women for permission to engage in an activity as trivial as kissing. If she doesn't want to be kissed, she will simply let you know, or reject it.

After kissing or making out, you now have the ability (unless she says otherwise) to be more physical throughout the date without worrying about her response. Having said that, the seductive process must continue. Don’t immediately invite her back to your place after kissing, just continue having fun, playful, and flirty conversation so more attraction can be built. 

A guideline I like to follow is that if you makeout with a girl on a date, you can invite her back to your place, and this has always proven true in my experience. When you do propose this, do not allude to having sex or continuing any sort of physical escalation, as doing so makes her feel gross, and decreases the odds of her coming over. If a girl agrees to go back to your house, she knows that sex is a likely possibility. Just invite her to come over and do something fun, like meeting your dog or watching a movie. 

Women love boldness. It indicates confidence, competence, and that you will be able to protect her. Having your advances rejected isn’t a big deal, and will only make you better at calibrating when a woman is ready for further escalation. Never wait for a woman to take the lead or give incredibly obvious hints that she desires for you to physically escalate, as that’s unlikely to happen. During your journey, you’re going to make mistakes, say and do  cringeworthy stuff, and that’s okay. Practice makes perfect, but you must put yourself out there and take risks. You must internalize the idea that nothing in dating is really a big deal. Women will come and go, so never become devastated if you do something that compromises one relationship. There’s always someone else out there. 

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