Disclaimer: Throwaway account for obvious reasons and I'm keeping this away from the regular subs so my gf doesn't find this.

So I upgraded her laptop over a couple of nights last week and backed up a bunch of folders/files to an external hard drive so I could make space for the free upgrade to Windows 10 before it expired.

I started going through the files yesterday morning trying to see what needed to stay and what needed to go and asked her if there was anything important in there like work stuff or family pictures and I'd copy them back to the laptop. She said to wait and she'd go through it herself, but something about her response set off a bunch of red flags. Curiosity got the better of me so I made an additional backup to my other external drive when she was in the shower so I could look around at home, just in case. Well, tonight I did just that and holy fucking hell no wonder she didn't want me looking.

She's got video after video with her an her ex-boyfriend who could easily be a pornstar. Think Danny D, but bigger :( I don't know what bothers me the most about all of this, that she's still friends with this guy, that she lets him poke his nose into our business more than someone in a relationship should IMO, or that she did stuff with him I never in a million years would have imaged she'd be into.

So now I've got all this stuff on my mind and she has no idea that I know. I don't think I can even look at our sex life the same way again knowing what she's done.

edit: I'm no prude and I know she's had a sex life before we got together, but nothing can prepare you for stuff that's extreme I guess. Some of the stuff I saw that disturbed me was

  • In one video he flopped his dick onto her face and started smacking her with it for like 5 minutes as they joked around and he was just rough as hell with her, and all the while she was just... into it and all smiles and stuff. It's disturbing as hell since that's not the person I know, or thought I knew.

  • She swore up and down to me that she's no at all interested in other women, and yet there she is on video with her ex and one of her best friends going down on him and each other. They looked pretty drunk, but they seemed to be having the time of their lives.

  • She measured him in one of the videos so there's no question just how big he is, which was about twice my size, and was ramming away in her shortly after. If that gets her off, then what does she get of me sex with me? Am I even hitting any of the right spots for her?

  • Another video was of her and the ex and one of his friends. They spit-roasted her and that's honestly not something I think I can forget, partly because she let them both finish on her face as they laughed and high fived. The one time I finished and got some on her face she freaked out. WTF was that about then?

Her and her girlfriend doesn't really bother me other than the fact she made it seem like there was zero possibility of that EVER happening (threesomes with other women), but seeing her with the two guys, I don't know why, but everything about it bothers me more than anything. And the worst part of all though was the hit to my ego hearing her sex sounds and how much more guttural she sounded with him, like it was just primal animal sex with him and I'm getting duty starfish sex by comparison. Then again this explains the sex toys, so maybe I should have known? Are they to stretch her out for him? Is she secretly a size queen? I have no idea.