There I was, working on my master's. Everything going alright. I had some self-confidence issues (mainly from an injury that caused loss of sensitivity down there) but I was still headfast in my work, good group of friends, lifted 3X week, and was fairly confident I was gonna be alright. Met a girl at work, she broke up with her bf and wanted a no string attached FWB. I hesitated because of it being at work but it turned out to be a lot of fun.

A year later, shit hit the fan. Work got crazy and I lost direction. I was overworked. I had no time to workout. I started stressing. I lost the ability to sleep. I complained more. I showed my emotions of fear, anxiety, depression, etc.

But shit, I kept going to work. I kept doing my social things. I worked out when I could. It just all became inefficient and once I couldn't sleep even with meds, I held what remnants of a frame I could which is one thing I can be happy about.

I was chugging along slowly, bruised and tired physically and mentally. Felt depressed but still fought. Guess who decides I wasn't enough for her anymore? My FWB became one of my closest friends over the year and half we were hooking up and I hung out with her alot. I started leaning on her because it was tough. She helped alot and I appreciated her more. I supported her when she was down in the dumps. I thought we became closer (she definitely agreed at one point). But then she becomes distant. I call her out on it and she says she doesn't want to fuck anymore. I try to hold frame and said "Alright, that's disappointing but whatever". She cried, said that she still wanted to stay close friends. She just wanted to try dating (she didn't mention me specifically. I may have been open to it). Of course in my weakened frame, I consoled her and said "it'll be fine dont worry." I leave for the weekend, for some plans I had. I come back give her space, for her and I. At work, I was still cordial but she was like a block of ice. Nothing behind her eyes anymore. It fucked with me. What happened to her wanting to be friends? Alright more space. Nope, she acted cold toward me, acted bitchy whenever I needed help at work or just chatted her up in break room. She stayed away and then I found out 2 months later she is dating someone from her gym.

I'm fucking tired of it all. Fine you don't want to fuck anymore, don't lie about it. Fine you don't wanna be friends anymore don't lie about it. Fine you found someone else don't lie about it. I should have expected this but instead I was naive thinking it'll be the same without sex. I supported her all this time and she supported me at times. But thats all gone. Now she is happy as a peach and I am struggling to maintain frame. I'm still battling depression, still stressed, and now for the first time, feeling jealous of her easiness of moving on and being happy

Moral of the story: Keep lifting, keep working. Don't stress about work because it'll got done eventually. I soon as I started stressing about every little thing, she lost attraction and just disappeared (unfortunately not completely which makes it harder for me to move on). I have to improve myself, I want to make some decent money so I can take a girl (or girls) away to some beach bungalow and fuck them for awhile in the sun and then go surfing. Don't really want much more than that. Maybe a family once I'm older

I know this isn't an advice thread but I'll take any if you got to offer (I'll take shit too).