So, I 'swallowed' the red pill just over a year ago. I've lost 65 pounds and have doubled what I can lift. I've focused on uni and have achieved two consecutive 4.0 semesters.

However, the point of this post. I decided to do something productive this past summer. So, I studied abroad in South Korea.

While I was there a group of three girls and I decided we would go spend the weekend in Tokyo. Two girls were from my group but one was a friend of them, a Korean native that I had never met before.

So to save money we all decide to share one apartment room. No big deal, they obviously didn't have a problem with it.

Long story short, the Korean native girl, begs me to share a bed with her. And all but fucks me right next to her sleeping friends. I remember being awake that night thinking, wow, how fucking easy was this?

Jump ahead. I dated her for two weeks. I had felt an emotional attachment that I had felt to no one else before. She seemed to do the same. I was convinced that she was perfect in every way.

Hold up. She had apparently been dating a guy online for 6 months before she met me. And told me after the two weeks that she needed to stay with him.

I should mention she told me she was raped by a Korean guy when she was 15 and had an abortion. Should have fucking stopped and known right there.

Okay, what the fuck.

She said that if she ever left him, she'd come back to me.

Okay, I'm 6,000 miles away now. But I'm making plans to go back for school.

I get hung up on this bitch for 4 months. Thinking about her every now and then, talking to her every now and then. She assured me she loved this guy and felt so badly for breaking my heart.

Just talked to a mutual friend. My, unicorn, broke up with that guy, just met a new guy no more than two months ago, got his name tattooed on her wrist and is moving in with him in February.

And... She's pregnant with yet another man's baby...

What the literal fuck guys.

I had gotten hung up for four months, on this slut. Because I put her on the pedestal. I was fucking convinced she was perfect. And I feel like a dumb motherfucking beta right now, because I was. I still am. I've been here a year, but it's clear I still have more learning to do.

Just remember. AWALT.