I know a guy who, at the age of 39, is in dire straits after having both a major heart attack and a stroke (while in hospital for the tia). He's so young and seemed so healthy, plus he's engaged and has a young child and so it's just terrible all around.

Anyway, I have noticed something over the last week or so- when this topic comes up the men who know him talk about him, his kid, and how shocking/sad it is and they express sympathy for everyone involved (the guy, his fiance and his child) and wish them well. The focus is solely on the man and his family and the hell that they are going through.

The women, on the other hand, well...some start that way. Some do not and jump right into the thing that they all seemed to get to by the end of them talking- their feelings. How this tragedy affects them. "I've been crying all day" "I don't know how I can work at a time like this" etc. Them them them. Seriously, every one of them either outright started out focused on themselves or eventually got there. Each and every one of them.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?