Outta Gas

MattyAnon · 2016-12-01T06:43:35+00:00

my friends are in long-term relationships and/or married

Your friends are making massive compromises. They make their "relationship" work with complete subjugation of their wants and wishes, begging their wives for permission to arrive home from work slightly later than usual. They have ZERO freedom.

Marriage is a future payment system. Your (male) friends have an large debt looming, called divorce. They think they're building a future with a woman, most times they're throwing money down the drain now with a huge financial shock coming in the future. That nice house and car? A big chunk is going to end up going to the lawers and most of what's left she'll find a way to take from him.

"You are enough" and "you need to always better yourself". Do people not realize those two things are contradictions?

These are not actually contradictory. You ARE enough, so long as what you as is improving.

OP, you cannot make a long term relationship work with a woman without going about it the right way. And the WRONG way to do it is to want/need a long term relationship. You try to "make it work" and they sense weakness, and then either exploit it or dump you. This is instinctive with women.

Is a happy ending really beyond my grasp, and I just won't accept it?

There is no happy ending other than the happiness you can create and build and own.

dammit_redskins · 2016-12-01T14:11:22+00:00

You are focusing on the wrong things. Girls should not be your end goal. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with a woman.

Pursue your passions and get your priorities straight. You still have lots of time to turn yourself around, don't give up.

Aaren_Augustine · 2016-12-01T08:01:00+00:00

Sounds like you need a bro dog.

abbafishhead · 2016-12-01T08:54:09+00:00

Contrary to what everyone here is saying, I'd say drop everything and forget girls and even lifting for a while. Do something that makes you feel good and happy, even if TRP would call it indulgent (e.g. video games, movies, drinking with friends, etc.). Give yourself as long as you need: 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year even.

You need to recharge and rejuvenate. You sound thoroughly burned out. I wish you the best of luck.

PS I also rarely had a lay from cold approach either, which is why I stopped. Nearly all my lays were from Tinder and even Facebook. You're not the only one. Just find what works for you.

reesechocolates · 2016-12-01T12:37:06+00:00

please bear with me -

I was a total beta friendzoned mangina in high school till 19 when I left for university. also i crave validation like one of those fatties whose always hanging around hot girls. my red journey started around a year later when again I found this girl I liked getting ploughed by some Chad - that was the last straw. I contemplated suicide for a while after.

now I'm 26, work at a job I really like and make decent money while going every morning to lift with a buddy of mine. also I watch my diet and since I have a decent face I look alot better than before.

the reason I told you seemingly useless information about my life is because I was in a worse position than you. HONESTLY MUCH WORSE! like the Wisemen above me said MGTOW and being in monk mode really changed things around to the point where bitches get nervous around me and I can literally see them getting the tingles. this didn't happen overnight - it was a mindset I developed bc I had been crying my entire life about getting the short end of the stick and then I used my anger, bitterness and depression to sharpen that stick and stab at anything in my way. if I could do it so can you. in my head now the only person I'm in love with is me. that's what's bitches respond to.

make the little changes and gain momentum - stop approaching until you got that inner flow. you'll see the magic happen and suddenly it'll be like evryone who thought you were invisible now gives a fuck about you. now I walk by them and recently told the girl who friendzoned me (she texts me non stop now surprise, surprise) "I wasn't good enough for you back then and I'm not good enough for you now" when you truly really DEEPLY have that IDGAF attitude, girls approach you. I have no doubt you can do the same. stay strong brother.

JackGetsIt · 2016-12-01T14:02:08+00:00

A. You're making women the end goal. Stop that.

B. Every guy from the most inexperienced to the most seasoned PUA or Chad gets drained when they get rejected. It's just human nature. You can offset that emotional sink with hobbies and male friendships. Drop the women for a while and seek out more male friendships and true franternal organizational bonds.

C. Women are professional daters and are responding to the dating climate in 2016 accordingly. They are uping their shit test game to infinite which means Tinder, Cofee Meets Bagel, POF, Instagram, facebook, and Tumblr will not land you relationships or girls. But there's a backdoor. Meeting women through in-group connections is now more valuable then ever. A girl that wouldn't even swipe you might fuck you that night if she met you in a group of friends and noticed that you had a good status in the group. At all costs get out into some social groups and just chat and meet people and don't pursue women right away. Just build relationships.

D. Don't live and die on every rejection. Women are fickle and an 8 will go a few month where she will only talk to 9 and 10 guys and tell every other guy to fuck off or she will all of of sudden fuck a 7 that made her laugh for 30 seconds. Don't let women's rejection of you form your own mental picture of yourself. All men get rejected that's the biological imperative we live in. We must pursue.

E. Google: Why you absolutely must be a space alien reddit seduction. I think that post will help you right now.

F. And remember that men still have a lot of good and sometimes outstanding years of dating time from 30-50. You're not a women. Your game is not over at 28.

G. Lift and meditate and feel free to PM me if needed. I'm also in my 30's.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T09:01:42+00:00

Well, there's always this.

I think what your describing goes beyond red pill, and more of living and enjoying it as a human being. Loosen up your circuits a bit and start to really see. The way I see it, the struggle to become the best, to become better, being alpha, is a goal not for the ladies but as fulfillment to yourself. We are (at least I am) wired to try and be brilliant. The rest comes together after you nail that down.

Life's a fun ride.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T11:26:50+00:00

For the most part, I'm right there with you. I'm so tired. So many women, sex & the career is turning for the better. But I am so fucking tired. Tired of shit tests. Holding frame & balancing plates gets exhausting. I'm 32. But we know our brothers are right. We're in a sort of purgatory right now. That means we're close to the other side. We have to let go of the last fuck we have to give bro. I'm lonely too. I have plenty of women. Some are really good to me but trp has me afraid to love or even throw a little sugar at them without triple thinking about it first. We're craving comfort because things are getting harder but trust me they're about to get better

mrp_1844 · 2016-12-01T04:11:57+00:00

Stop by MGTOW and take a look.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T13:39:07+00:00

I've wanted a longer-term thing with an attractive woman, and that's all I've wanted.

You want outside validation that all your hard work has paid off. This is the height of outcome dependence. You have read TRP, but understood nothing. You have placed the pussy on a pedestal so high that no woman will ever live up to your orbiter-level standards. You approached TRP from the complete fucking wrong angle, and are now complaining that it doesn't work.

Every time I see a woman I don't see opportunity, now it's to the point I see a potential problem. Someone who's going to dismiss or mock...all I see is a future bad experience.

Your self talk is obviously atrocious. If you can't even look at women without your mind reflexively reverting to scared-beta mode, then you missed the first and most important step of TRP: get your fucking mind right. Your mind shouldn't control you. You should control it. Above, you clearly state that you want to have a relationship with an attractive woman, then here you state that you are afraid of women because they might hurt your fee-fees. Grow some balls, and sort out this cognitive dissonance.

"You are enough" and "you need to always better yourself". Do people not realize those two things are contradictions?

This is false, and likely contributing to your double-think. Contentment isn’t the antithesis of ambition. Contentment, and gratitude for what your have, are what give us the energy to continue forward. Gratitude is associated with increased energy, optimism, and empathy. The desire to improve should come from a position of self love, and the desire to improve your standards. Not a position of neediness and a thirst for validation. You are doing it wrong.

I'm reluctant to admit fear, that's not what "strong" men do

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." What is more impartant than fear, you may be wondering? You are. Your life is. Fear is our brain trying to slip back into mediocrity, because it is easier. It is safer, and requires less effort. We inherited this vestigial mindset from a time when humans lived in scarcity. We do not live in scarcity anymore. You do not live in scarcity, so stop acting like it. Live in abundance, and fear will no longer have a hold over you.

My skin is thick as a marble wall

No it isn't. And even if it were, that wouldn't help you because your biggest problem doesn't come from outside; it comes from inside. Thick skin won't save you. Your self-talk is dog shit. Your self-limiting beliefs are dog shit. Your mindset is all wrong. You have gone through the motions of TRP without actually understanding or absorbing what it's actually about. You are a faker. An imposter. Your mind isn't right. You still crave outside sources of validation and comfort. Clearly you have been half-assing TRP because if you had actually applied yourself, you would understand the following so well that I wouldn't have to repeat it for you again. Are you ready? Pay attention: no amount of outside validation or achievement is going to make you feel good enough. I'm sure you've read this before, but clearly you needed to read it again. I hope, for your sake, that it sticks this time.

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-12-01T04:35:29+00:00

How am I supposed to respect someone, man or woman, that's consistently trying to one-up me and then "punishes" me when I just flat out don't want to play the game?

She is supposed to respect you because you train her like a dog to be obedient.

You aren't supposed to respect women because they are just emotional beings that need a master to obey. (AWALT)

My advice is to switch out of PUA mode (seeking high volume low quality) and probably go monk mode MGTOW for a bit.

Then look into the LTR type thinking process.

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies.

Find a good girl, train her right, then see how it goes.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T13:07:15+00:00

Is a happy ending really beyond my grasp, and I just won't accept it?

Harden up, sugarbear. And then go read my MR flaired post- "Lux aurea in tantam obscuro" to yourself, in Sean Connery's voice.

We're gonna make you win again. We're gonna make you win until you're tired of winning- and then you're going to go win some more.

Bigly!

Roaring40sUK · 2016-12-01T14:43:34+00:00

Being Alpha does not mean no fear.. it means doing it anyway.. or not..

Dont follw TRP blindly as a solution to TBP. Take from it what you need and leave the rest.

Go Monkmode, recharge, do what makes you happy.

brinkleybuzz · 2016-12-01T15:57:03+00:00

The day you stop giving a fuck about women is when you will start having success with them. Your problem is that everything you do seems to be aimed towards attracting women and not reaching your full potential as a man.

IMO you should take a step back, go monk mode for a while to focus on yourself and figure out what your mission in life is. Then go to work on accomplishing that mission.

Also realize that when you live your life as an actualized, free, single man, most of your buddies in long term relationships will envy you.

So stop whining and start doing.

mdcrubengonza · 2016-12-01T17:01:12+00:00

I try doing everything in a sustainable fashion. Approaching women does get taxing, though. My way around it? Being blunt and making it fun for me when there's a rejection by making fun of them.

RoughTeddy · 2016-12-01T19:43:03+00:00

Women are not the end goal of why you take the pill. Women are a side benefit. Some people skew TRP to be purely about women and getting laid, and while they're free to do so, they miss the point.

Do you have a decent sum of money in your bank account? Go fly to Iceland and relax in nature for a few days. Hit up a hot spring and decompress. Go sailing in the BVIs for two weeks. Drink Mojitos on the deck and stare into that beautiful blue ocean, full of mystery and possibility, the same as life.

When you come home, take those lessons and learn from them, apply them to your life. Focus on improving yourself. Work on finding new clients for your business or building your brand in a new market. But do those things for yourself, not for women who don't deserve it.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2016-12-01T22:24:42+00:00

You need to chill the fuck out man. There is no commandment from God that you must try to fuck as many new girls as possible. Go ahead and find a decent one and settle down, just don't turn into a whiny beta bitch (which you already come across as) or the relationship will go to shit.

You sound like you've spent years imitating what TRP teaches but never actually internalized it. Once you achieve self-acceptance and inner emotional calm you can simultaneously strive to better yourself whilst also accepting your own limitations. It is perfectly possible to believe "I am enough [for this girl]" whilst also believing "but I want to be even better" which is what self-improvement is all about.

Hillarysdilddo_2016 · 2016-12-01T14:40:44+00:00

Have you tried gay?

Honestly I am seeing a lot of male hamstering here.

34 years old, and I've sloughed through scores of pretty and ugly girls alike.

Out of "scores" of women, none of them were up to par? I think this is more a reflection of you. You need to introspect whether that was true, or whether you're selecting wrong.

I'm not arguing that western women aren't an absolute shit show, but there are decent women out there.

Other than that just go MGTOW. Just do you.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T09:18:19+00:00

This is mostly how I've felt for years. I've been learning how to not being in perpetual conflict with life, or right now, or any person, and spend most of my time flowing with life, and improving myself in ways that somehow honor my present emotions, even if they are negative emotions, including loneliness. I'm trying to suppress negative emotions less, see them as signs that there are things in my life I want to change, see them as things that can influence my identity and my actions in a way that builds me up, and the hardest part right now is trying to figure out how to find the ways that this kind of influence can play out. Its the contemplation and study of emotional alchemy. Trying to figure out how to take the negative emotions, that obviously when severe enough can kill you, and based on your own individuality or personality which is vitally important in what kind of action you can actually take, process them into action that changes them into positive emotions.

StinkyDogFarts · 2016-12-01T09:26:03+00:00

Youre tired of the game. it's fun for a while, I did it too. Stop looking. Do things you're interested in. If you meet a girl, be forward and honest. If she is a gamer, she won't bite. if she's looking for the same thing as you...You'd be shocked how you find what you need when you aren't looking.

matrixpush · 2016-12-01T09:54:32+00:00

American gender ratio...not exactly in your favor unless you're an LGBT male.

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-49704.html

Praecipuus · 2016-12-01T10:37:12+00:00

A girl will not make the loneliness disappear, and if she does, it will mean you are setting yourself off for making her not want to be with you.

Go lift, go get yourself busy with a hobby, go socialize with friends and you'll see your life will improve and the girls will come by the time you realize you don't really need them to be happy.

In the meantime, fuck hookers if you have to.

[deleted] · 2016-12-01T11:44:36+00:00

Been there. If it makes you feel better my last relationship lasted 6 years and I felt more lonely during that time then now being single.

Dated a few girls this summer and one by one I flaked on them. The juice isn't worth the squeeze

antariusz · 2016-12-01T19:50:40+00:00

? I mean, I realize not every man can be in the top 5% or whatever.

Sounds like maybe you might need to just give up on women for a while. Maybe check out mgtow. I've had lots of approaches turn into sex. The fact that It's never happens ever, for you, clues me in that the problem is not with the amount of approaches you've made, but with your value underneath.

You've spent too much time trying to pull women and not enough time raising your value high enough to where women just come naturally.

You still have a lot of beta tendencies. That's ok. Not everyone is going to be a raging natural testosterone gym freak. But if I can tell this about you from one Reddit post, then women in your life can see it as well. I wouldn't want to be in a LTR with someone ready to give up on life with no drive to succeed, why would any woman?

favours_of_the_moon · 2016-12-01T20:58:29+00:00

Maybe you're giving it up to easy. Make em work for it a bit.

Could be a yang deficiency.

SetConsumes · 2016-12-01T21:53:39+00:00

If you were out of gas you would have killed yourself.

Yes life is full of contradictions and absurdities. Embrace it.

Women wanted to be treated right which means don't treat them how you'd want to be treated. Yay.

That bitchy girl, you failed her fitness test.

Linoran · 2016-12-01T23:50:15+00:00

Only you are responsible for your own happiness. You can't expect a woman to fix that. Sounds like you need to go MGTOW for a while.

g4k · 2016-12-02T08:56:13+00:00

We are men. Men is what we are.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-12-01T16:35:53+00:00

Go be a gaping vagina somewhere else.

BiggestOfBosses · 2016-12-01T14:54:26+00:00

Just goes to show how retarded people on this sub are. You purposely state that this is just a vent. You're not looking for advice or validation, but people still want to chime in.

Title	Outta Gas
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	39
Comments	53
Date	December 1, 2016 3:52 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5fuff4/outta_gas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/outta-gas.64951 https://theredarchive.com/post/64951

Comments