Potential long terms effects of TRP behavior

SkorchZang · 2014-10-17T17:15:08+00:00

Being a man and shouldering the burden of various decisions so that she can be free to express her feminine side is universally pleasurable to women. Even the staunch college-bred feminazi enjoys it, as long as it's not pointed out to her, and is simply done. The captain of the ship is plotting the course, the ship is sailing happily along where everyone onboard wants to go, everybody is doing their duty - what's not to like?

The thing that does build resentment in women is excessive use of "veto power", overriding her legit concerns or desires, and especially failing to hear out her feelings. She'll want to pour them out, and if you love the woman, you can't just order her to sock it and then make the decision unilaterally every single time. That might give her tingles at first, but then start to build that longterm resentment for sure.

I found that the trick is to constantly "advertise" how if she has any concerns or confusing feelings, or anything bothering her, that she is to come to you. And you affectionately listen to her talk about it. This is really key, you don't solve anything for her, just ask leading questions and draw it ALL out of the woman, without engaging the issue and suggesting solutions or courses of actions. The problem talked about is usually not important, or of very limited importance, what IS important is her, being raptly listened to.

You go on just snuggling her or whatever, saying things like "oh really" and "tell me more", and "oh my god, Tracy said that to you?". The first few times you try, feels weird as FUCK. Suppressing the painfully obvious solution to the problem she's articulating, and just listening to the woman articulating how vexxed she is about some bullshit. It is rewarding however, because at the end of these sessions it's like magic, she'll sigh big, smile or smooch you: "I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!! I love you.", and then pretty much it's done for the week. You never even said anything about solving her problem for her or making her decision for her, just listened and took in her insecurities. Inside of you they're instantly annihilated like the trash they are, but she doesn't know, and in fact that's often exactly what she needs you to do with them for her.

Anyway that's what I wanted to highlight for you man, because your long term intuitive wariness regarding authoritarianism is definitely justified. Practicing this "listening" ritual with your woman is excellent insurance against many problems including possible resentments. I've found it's very addictive to the women, they crave it and enjoy it, and will ask for it on their own once you establish the pattern:

She is to come to you with all her problems and worries, whenever she feels overwhelmed.
You display patience, compassion, empathy, and listen to her pour it all out, no attempt made to solve anything for her. Instead you aim to validate that she is a person with feelings that you care about, and are willing to listen to and draw those things out of her with gentle interest.
You never expect her to do anything like that for you if you happen to be in a major shitstorm. Strictly one way only, you're a man who really listens, but never expects her to return the favour - even if she claims she's ready to, and seemingly wants to do it. She cannot annihilate a man's insecurities, they will instead tend to infect and poison her. That's why you simply don't do it, but always let her bring hers to you. Got problems, bring it baby... to the annihilator. Don't leave anything out, tell me how you feel. If the issue she's talking about actually warrants some urgent action, then you invariably make the actual decision on your own anyways as necessary. As long as you know how to listen, she truly couldn't care less about that, the decision is unimportant - her emotional participation and ability to dump it on you when shit gets overwhelming for her, is what's central.

mademychoice · 2014-10-17T15:59:57+00:00

Addressing your example about making all the decisions, a good alternative is to let her make suggestions of things to do that she likes, and you decide which to do. You still get to make decisions, however you demonstrate that you respect her input. Captain/first mate.

2comment · 2014-10-17T16:35:04+00:00

Think of the difference between a good and bad boss.

A good boss can be demanding as fuck but you still loved working for the guy because he was clear in what he wanted, was willing to roll up his sleeves and get in the trenches when needed (not reclining his ass in his office) but only helped in as far as was needed, left you autonomy for your tasks and didn't micromanage wiping your ass.

And if the work felt like it meant something and you weren't jipped with a shit salary at the end of the day, it's golden.

But a woman's biological imperative is to have children. At the end of the day, that's the most concrete meaning to life. I'd be more concerned with that than building resentment.

It's probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but I don't see childless couples as all that natural.

topspeedj · 2014-10-17T16:41:44+00:00

I recommend this book all the time but David Deida's The Way of The Superior Man is applicable to marriages.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-10-17T17:02:54+00:00

This is a very interesting question.

I have read 3 books on submission written for women ("The Surrendered Wife", "Fascinating Womanhood" and "Me? Obey Him?") and all say the exact same thing. The woman should always speak her mind and make sure her needs are known to her husband and it is then his job to help insure that the need is met. Speaking up- once and only once- is contrasted with the more common female tactic of nagging and henpecking.

Therefore, holding frame should not build resentment. Most women want to be relieved of the need to make all the decisions and want to be able to rely on their man to make most of them.

tombreck2 · 2014-10-17T17:07:53+00:00

/u/Archwinger has a lot of good posts that might help you out

Jessie_James · 2014-10-17T18:49:17+00:00

I've seen people in long term marriages get divorced... not b/c of infidelity or money, but b/c they grew apart

Did they have kids? I read an article here on Reddit (sorry, can't find it now) that basically pointed out if parents put their kids first and the marriage second ... after the kids grew up the parents no longer had a connection are were more likely to divorce. Solution: Kids come second, parents keep having date nights, sex, and so forth, and maintain a connection.

waldo888 · 2014-10-17T20:17:03+00:00

unfortunately she will. from experience she will. She will go along with you, follow you and be happy as fuck going the extra mile to please you. But when you slip or she meets someone she considers a real and better prospect she will use all of the extra things she did for you as a rationalization for why she is leaving or fucking someone else. That is the hamster ammo my friend. stay attractive and you have to stop caring if she decides to do this.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-10-17T20:19:17+00:00

You shouldn't be forcing her to be unfulfilled.

You're there to make sure she is fulfilled, she's your life partner. You're there to protect her (from herself if necessary) and provide, although nowadays the woman will sometimes also have that financial role to some degree.

Just because you're the one deciding, doesn't mean you can't decide stuff that will result in her happiness. After all, we all know better than womenfolk, what they want, much of the time.

flexiblehold · 2014-10-18T04:59:23+00:00

It's not Red Pill to always do what you want, Red Pill is knowing what you want and knowing what she wants, selectively giving her what she wants as needed within the context of your frame -- RP ltr judo is like being a 5-star restaurant waiter who always anticipates the patron's needs, is responsive without being servile, someone who will not allow the patron to have another piece of bread if he determines it will ruin the main course.

lloopy · 2014-10-17T22:32:55+00:00

A woman whose man is alpha might complain to other women or to her beta orbiters, but she will not leave him.

A woman who is married to a beta will. And then she'll claim she was abused.

Direct quote from my ex (who was on a pedestal carefully crafted by beta me): Some kinds of abuse don't leave scars.

Title	Potential long terms effects of TRP behavior
Author	MLMIKE39
Upvotes	29
Comments	24
Date	October 17, 2014 3:48 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2jixdp/potential_long_terms_effects_of_trp_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/potential-long-terms-effects-of-trp-behavior.23135 https://theredarchive.com/post/23135

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