Raising daughters

BloodMoney1 · 2013-07-31T16:29:59+00:00

Society is built towards when those big moments happen in her life to "Let mom handle it." Don't let that happen. You should be present and be active in the conversation. You have just as much useful info to give to them just as mom does.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-07-31T09:44:25+00:00

I helped raise a niece and nephew, but no kids of my own.

Try to instill a sensibility that they want to be "perfect." Make them the "good girls."

Odds are one of them is going to go haywire. If one of them gets knocked up, make sure the others see the consequences. No bullshit man, my sister got knocked up and had her first baby in high school. My girl friends were so freaked out that they wouldn't touch peen until after college. LOL

But yeah, the type of girls who are going to flake are mainly the ones with daddy issues. Especially absent father, so they seek male attention.

Just make sure they have good heads on their shoulders. And always be there for them and validate them.

It probably doesn't hurt to inform them of the "15 golden years of womanhood." They won't wanna mess that up.

misunderstandingly · 2013-07-31T14:44:58+00:00

I have a son and a daughter and I think a lot about this for my daughter, too.

My thought now (she's still a a baby) is that if I can help her learn to be internally self-motivated and internally self-validated that she will be better able to identify those people that add to her life and those that take.

Teenage years are a long way off - but unlike many fathers I talk to I hope she has a happy and positive sexual life. If she waits until generally later I think that's better, but I feel that many dads (and cultures) try to postpone sex by demonizing it. Putting all sorts of crazy high-emotion baggage on something that should be wonderful.

eg: "I'll be waiting for your BF with a shotgun" "you will RUIN your life!" "God hates you if you put things in your holes." "You v-card is a gift that only be given once" "masturbation is bad" etc... etc...

I want my daughter to be as happy and fulfilled as possible in her life - it does not make sense to me to taint this wonderful part of life.

It clearly does not make women happy for them to marry and then shit-test/brow-beat their men into pudding. What can I do to help her avoid this? What are you thoughts, OP? I'd be happy to share a dialogue.

ChaoticParadox · 2013-07-31T05:34:19+00:00

I really wish I could speak to you as a father, but I'm too cautious to have children on this planet. You're a brave man. All I can say is don't ever display beta characteristics. They will respect your authority, and mostlikely expect a man to meet similar expectations instead of some cheap ass PUA shit.

Futsushi · 2013-07-31T09:32:39+00:00

I have the same fear, I have a 6 year old daughter. However, I now that as dad, I am the most influential male in her life and I don't intend to waste that.

I will do my best to teach her to be a strong feminine woman.

Story: I had a talk with my daughter before her bedtime about a story she told about her competing with the other girls for one guys attention and how she was better than that (at 6, no shit it shook me when she told me that the girls were fighting over this boy). So, the next day my daughter comes home and talks about how the boy that people were fighting over now wants to hang with her but she is too busy because she made friends with another girl in her class and they were playing barbies. That's my girl!

atlascrowed · 2013-07-31T06:01:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-07-31T13:24:30+00:00

Speaking from experience there is nothing that you can do. You can't help who you are attracted to and unless you go the religious route (which is nowhere near full proof, but your best chance IMO) they will be just like every other women out there and maybe you won't know anything about it.

God I hope I don't have any daughters, but I feel for you brother.

The-Self-Post-Guy · 2013-07-31T15:04:39+00:00

Why just military officers, any man in the military would be a step in the right direction as a son in law. It shows a multitude of characteristics, officers (especially butter bars) tend to be egotistical in their approach, their way is the best regardless of others experience. I think the enlisted NCOs deserve more respect because they've been in the Shit and have gotten their hands dirty, they seem more alpha than a privileged brat officer. Not to say all officers are bad just a majority I've met in my opinion.

2013-07-31T15:18:39+00:00

I'm not a father, but I have a sister 11 years my junior who lives with my (now single) mother. She's my half-sister and has had to go through the divorce of her parents as I had to, albeit with different fathers.

She respects me because I meet her experience with my own in most cases and tell her how it is without any sugar-coating (plus, I can make observations about our parents that we can agree on). It's probably a fault of my mother that she never explained things to me as I was maturing, which left me confused and eager for attention from women (basically, everything in 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' is/was me). My sister has the same problem, and is very confused about the way she's acting vs. how she feels vs. why the other party/parties act as they do.

I quash all that shit and explain to her why it all works as it does (mostly relating to societal interactions and people in general). I make her understand her problems through a few simple things.

I identify the problem she has and feed it back to her in her own terms (i.e. understand why it bothers her), essentially using her own language (basic rapport techniques).
Sharing the experience with her by way of an example of myself doing the same thing, or a story (true or not) of someone else doing same thing from when I was her age, and the results of that particular event. Making sure to compare your feelings at the time vs. now; explaining what made it change for me. Again, this is just building rapport (trust, congruency and validity). As a footnote to this, my step-father used to tell me to do things and then say "back in my day..." to qualify the statement. This is an example of not enough information/reasoning. This might just be me, but understanding why things are, is better for me if I am to be compliant. Nuture the logic in her.
I am always stable in front of her. We all know that if you don't have your shit under control, the women in your life will not give you respect. You also have to practice what you preach. Test her, give her scenarios to think about, attempt to get the hamster to spin as much as possible. When the hamster is spinning, all they're saying is that they're ignorant of the reason why, and if you have a strong frame, they will have to believe you. Call it dominance, call it whatever, but hamstering is a result of their own ignorance, which I believe opens them to 'the truth', because whatever you give them is better than what they have (obviously, this requires a lot of rapport).

People, young girls in general, even young men and women, are confused about a lot of things, so just be aware of what they're confused about and keep a look out for where they've got said idea. e of where she's getting her ideas from and nail them one by one.

AlephMale · 2013-07-31T12:21:22+00:00

To kill the hamster, you need to have them meet objective, physical reality, to get used to stuff that cannot be bullshitted about. Assuming you are too rich to need your kids do much physical work around the house/farm (feeding the livestock and whatnot, that made my wife a great person), the second best is sports. Girly sports of course.

Our friends 13 year old girl is already wiser and more mature thinking than most adults. Reason? Competing in rythmical gymnastics. She knows if she cannot do a difficult trick she cannot bullshit it around, practice it or give up. And this creates a small ego, teaches humility, makes a very good character. She faces reality every day at training, it is not like textual schoolwork that can be bullshitted around, it is an engagement with reality, very well character forming.

What sports are girly? Well, there is something in dancing that is somehow as close to the female soul as fighting to the male soul. The way boxing gyms create men, so does dancing create women. So those dancing type sports where there is music and some rythm: rythmical gymnastics, figure skating, synchronized swimming... they are all forms of dancing and very good for women. You can find that even when they don't have a pretty face all these sports make very feminine women.

2013-07-31T18:15:09+00:00

Teach them to shoot. Time at a range teaches a lot of valuable lessons about responsibility, consequences, and the difference between reality and bullshit. Plus the people you encounter there are very likely to be the kind of people you want them to respect and emulate.

ss_camaro · 2013-07-31T07:11:33+00:00

I thank my lucky stars every day I do not yet have a daughter.

That being said, I told my boys if they ever have a daughter they should:

Not expect her to be a man; i.e. have a sense of honor, duty, propriety or industry.
Not spoil or support her more than absolutely necessary: no university, no fancy clothes, no horses, inheritance, etc.
Give her to understand that she can do one of two things: find a man you approve of and support him until the end of her days, no matter what, or she can disappear and not bother you with her bullshit.

As with all child-raising, the mother/surrogate is going to be your biggest adversary, having the mind of a teenager and a corrupt-to-the-core media/court apparat that puts her far above you in the cultural marxist hierarchy.

Keep your whiskey stashed.

You're going to need it.

browndelicious · 2013-07-31T15:10:56+00:00

If I had children, I'd raise them according to the stage they're in. See Bill Plotkin's Developmental Wheel and Nature and the Human Soul.

I'd do everything I could to show them a strong man. That means being emotionally aware and having a worthwhile mission in life and having agency. Everything they see and experience in you as a father will come back to them in their life choices, including future selection of partners.

p.s. show, not tell.

vengefully_yours · 2013-07-31T15:19:38+00:00

What is wrong with enlisted men? Not everyone starts out in the same place, its where you go with what you have that matters more than where you are right this second. Officers can be just as lousy as anyone.

I have two teenage daughters, one is easy because she likes girls. The other is just like her mother, superficial, shallow, self absorbed, entitlement, thinks the world revolves around her and makes the stupidest decisions.

I had more time with the older one that likes girls, and I taught her to think. She is very critical of claims, knows when someone is blowing smoke up her ass, and is aware of bullshit artists the moment they open their mouths. Teach them how to use their minds, and get them interested in the discovery of the world around them, and they seem to make better choices. The younger one grew up mainly with her mother, and I was not allowed to have much time to teach her anything. They learn from example, so be a good example.

Everyone has to learn in life, they will make poor choices, they will make mistakes. Your job is to guide them while letting them fail and get hurt, but not hurt badly, but enough so they know not to do that again. Women are usually protected by everyone, so they are unaware of what is out there, and they make shitty choices based on ignorance and being naive. My first wife coddled them, but I let them explore with supervision and the older one benefited from it greatly. My second wife is going through her first big learning experience from poor choices, it will not end well for her, but there is nothing I can do about it. She just has to live it and find out why you dont do the stupid shit she is doing now.

The best thing you can do is teach them how to use the minds they have, show them how to make informed choices, and how to bounce back from getting hurt. In other words, teach your daughters the critical thinking skills men employ daily, and they will do well.

HarleyWalker · 2013-07-31T06:16:26+00:00

I can't offer advice as a father, but my boss has done a very good job of raising his daughter. She's growing into the sort of woman that if you are marriage minded then she would definitely be someone to go with.

I think understanding the nature of women is the most important thing (which by being here means you should understand it or at least be working towards that). This means knowing how full of shit they can be and how they will pull on your heart strings to get their way. They'll pull shit tests on you as a parent to see how far they can go. In my experience mothers know exactly this and it's part of the conflict I have seen with mothers and daughters a lot (excepting the cases where the mother vicariously whores through her youth with her daughter).

Be an alpha male as a parent. Girls with real men for fathers don't tend to be as bad as girls with beta and especially absent fathers. The only white girl from my school who liked "bruthas" had the most beta weak ass excuse for a father I have ever seen and his wife was a raging cunt that ran him. Show your daughters what a real man is. Teach them how to recognise the psuedo-alpha PUA.

GayLubeOil · 2013-07-31T05:56:26+00:00

This is coming from a 20 something dude bro Bodybuilder who has never taken care of anything larger than a cat. So I don't know how much validity my advice holds. Try and foster some kind of interest in your girls besides being beautiful princess. Usually the coolest girls are those that work very hard in sports or academics. The ones who got spit roasted by my fraternity usually have absent fathers.

SasquatchtheSasquatc · 2013-07-31T23:06:17+00:00

The best thing you can do is to just be a good father. Love and respect them, pay attention to their thoughts and feelings. A girl's first role model of what a man should be is her father.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-07-31T10:08:12+00:00

Here's another thing.

Keep them away from the dirty uncle. Or whatever threats there may be. Oftentimes, it is an older brother of a friend, where she's sleeping over at their house. Shit like that.

In cases of abuse, the child will begin to act out. Protect them from that shit. Give them the heads up to know how to see it coming and shit like that. Evasive maneuvers and self defense.

HisWoman23 · 2013-07-31T06:11:36+00:00

Mom and daughter here. I hope it is okay for me to chime in. :)

I think the most fundamental thing you can do is to be the best man you can be. Women are unconciously attracted to men who remind them of their fathers. Also just being present and interested in their life makes such a big difference. A girl who wants to make her daddy proud wont be off making foolish mistakes with unworthy boys in a quest for validation. Until they are married, their male validation should come from you, so praise them when they do well, and be disappointed but forgiving when they fail.

All in all, just the fact that you are even asking this question says a lot. I am sure you will do fine. :)

Pleasepardon any typos. I am not good at typing with my thumbs.

vacuu · 2013-08-01T03:01:15+00:00

There are two things I'd recommend:

1) Be masculine, protect them, make decisions, be everything you'd want the men they get involved with to be plus a little bit more

2) Pour out tons of attention to each of them. Spend lots of time together. Have a special activity with each one weekly. Make them the center of the world.

Those two actions will raise their expectations and the value they give themselves and their bodies when they start dating. They will expect the same level of masculinity and attention from whoever they're with as you have given them in the past. If you don't give them much attention then they won't expect much or think they deserve it, and they'll be more likely to sleep around as a way to get the male attention they want. If you aren't masculine, they won't be as feminine and will feel the need to be in charge which will leave them unsatisfied and possibly make them settle for a beta but in reality always want an alpha, leading to perhaps cheating. When they could have had an alpha in the first place if they had been less bitchy.

iseeyou1312 · 2013-07-31T13:55:25+00:00

Should have got some hints from a Chinese/Indian/Korean couple on how to raise daughters...

Trolly-McTroll · 2013-07-31T12:32:05+00:00

Self esteem, values, morals and self worth. It sucks but our sons and daughters are growing up into a truly rotten dating scene with landmines everywhere but if they don't participate then they're losers...

2013-07-31T16:38:37+00:00

Look at their mother. If their mother is a train wreck being held together by duct tape and glue, you're fucked. If their mother is a decent woman, you'll be fine.

If mom treats you like you are important to her, the kids will treat you the same way.

Edit: conversely, if mom puts you down in front of the kids, there is nothing you can do to fix that.

Title	Raising daughters
Author	AlephMale
Upvotes	12
Comments	51
Date	July 31, 2013 5:14 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1jeiwe/raising_daughters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/raising-daughters.5997 https://theredarchive.com/post/5997

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