Refusing sex, need tips

tombreck2 · 2014-11-20T18:46:27+00:00

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

MagicGainbow · 2014-11-20T18:44:52+00:00

I'd next her, if she's using sex as a bargaining chip/stick to beat you she's not worth anything more than casual sex.

TDCRedPill · 2014-11-20T19:05:49+00:00

/r/asktrp

She doesn't want your dick. Either be the guy whose dick she wants, or find someone else.

jcrunk13 · 2014-11-20T18:58:41+00:00

You guys are the shit. I love trp

AdmiralScooby · 2014-11-20T18:45:00+00:00

Next her. Save yourself in the long run.

vandramir · 2014-11-20T20:15:48+00:00

This is an interesting common theme with hitting the wall. The number count realization sets in and they try to over compensate by creating a strict screening process because at this point they dread raising the number. That's a huge red flag. I would say next.

williamwilliam2 · 2014-11-20T18:49:15+00:00

She f'ed up the relationship with her crap, not you. Move on. Don't explain yourself. Don't 'talk about it'. Don't fool yourself into thinking she's hard to replace, either.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-20T19:59:08+00:00

You can't reason a woman into bed, you can only try to make her want you in her bed.

I think that the other commenters are right here: she's holding out for commitment and trying to up the "relationships stakes." Be careful here. If she's a plate who wants upgrading to girlfriend status, decide what you want out of it.

I caved thirty years ago, and I've been married to her for a quarter-century. It hadn't been all bad.

But if you're NOT interested in upgrading her, but want her to open her legs again, I'd suggest a couple of things.

First, never underestimate the power of radio silence. Just don't respond to her for a couple of days. No texts, no e-mails, no calls, and let her go to voicemail.

After a few days, say, a week, text her for a meet-up, and then go back to your place. Escalate kino and see what happens. If she freezes you out again, ask her why.

When she says "I want to be sure that's not all you want," your go to is: "I'm not dating a woman who doesn't want to have sex with me. Good night."

This might work. I give it one chance in 3. After that, soft next.

Zanford · 2014-11-20T20:06:34+00:00

Yeah if you give in, she will withhold sex every time she wants something.

You need to reframe with something like "If you can't already feel the connection we have, we clearly aren't meant for each other, oh well it was fun, good luck".

The reframe is from YOUR need to prove you care about more, to HER need to prove she deserves more.

Make it like The Emperor's New Clothes: either she can see 'the connection' (that is more than sex), or she must be an idiot. Her ego will do the rest of the work for you.

See also the classic reframe 'I only want you for just sex if that's all you have to offer. Why, isn't there more to you?'

IVIaskerade · 2014-11-20T18:46:20+00:00

This should be in AskTRP.

viavitae · 2014-11-20T19:35:39+00:00

Women say they want good listeners, how right they are. Listen carefully to what she said and think about the context. She is attempting to renegotiate the relationship. This is a shit-test. If you fail, her attraction to you will lessen.

The key to negotiation is being willing and able to walk away. Everyone buying a car knows this, and your time is a much more precious resource. Unlike cars, you will be in this situation over and over again with this woman or any other. You need to be willing to next a woman, or you will fail her shit tests.

If you have not listened to the black phillip show yet, you really should.

Axotl · 2014-11-20T20:08:26+00:00

If she doesn't want to have sex with you, that means exactly what it says on the tin. She's just using it as a convenient tool to get even more out of you. It's essentially a form of manipulation. No sex until you buy her things or provide things for her. So it's very hypocritical really, when she frames it as trying to see if you're the bad guy here.

I would just say yeah ok, I'm going to move on now. It doesn't matter what she thinks. This is a very straight-forward next.

TekkomanKingz · 2014-11-20T20:09:47+00:00

If she is just a plate then the decision is obvious. If she's worth something more than just give her subtle hints (no contact, dread game) and hopefully she'll snap out of it. If not, then you must next.

SOAADDICT · 2014-11-20T20:10:18+00:00

Next. All women will issue shit tests, but it's a special kind of woman who's not worth your time who sits around and actually schemes up extra tests to put you thorough.

MachiavellianRed · 2014-11-20T20:13:24+00:00

You've ignored the rules. See ya.

Title	Refusing sex, need tips
Author	jcrunk13
Upvotes	3
Comments	25
Date	November 20, 2014 6:38 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2mwdvc/refusing_sex_need_tips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/refusing-sex-need-tips.25172 https://theredarchive.com/post/25172

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