Shit Tests?

BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-18T01:36:17+00:00

You are hamstering par excellence on your wife's request. She just wanted you to roll over and give her a hug. Why couldn't you just take her in your arms and reassure her for 60 seconds before leaving for work? It doesn't have to be sexual. It doesn't have to be a big song and dance. All it needs to be is a small spark of affection.

Your problem is that you don't feel that affection because the sex has dried up. It doesn't matter whose fault or why the sex dried up. First you need to reintroduce some affection into your marriage. Fake it until you make it.

I would strongly recommend that you TELL your wife that you two are going to kiss every day for at least 10 seconds. The kiss can be anywhere and can even be in front of the kids. Just do it. Every day. This is the way you reconnect physically and emotionally.

Also, why are you asking your wife what she wants? She has no idea what she wants.

Let me tell you what she wants. She wants a husband who will stop for a few minutes and listen to her whine and complain, then pat her on the head and tell her it is going to be all right. That is all.

Walking out the door is the proper response for a Shit Test but that is not what you are dealing with right now.

rlh1271 · 2014-09-17T23:26:48+00:00

The second and I mean the second you act as though she has gotten to you, you have lost. You did well walking out the door, but I wouldn't have continued to engage her. If the child is throwing a tantrum, you walk out of the room.

RBuddDwyer · 2014-09-18T00:30:22+00:00

Do you love her and want to stay or not? If you do, this is very easy to resolve. If not, a lawyer is who you should talk to to prepare for a losing war.

Since the question is mostly about your interplay, I'll assume you want to stay.

Your setup is right: she's at home with the kids, you're busting your ass at work.

There's not enough detail to truly analyze the situation, but I do see some problems.

It looks like you are punishing her for not ever giving you sex on your terms by the way you structured the "stay in bed" story. Here, you're compounding a problem by not handling your primary issue thus creating a new one of not being "supportive" aka "listening to her".

Let's walk this backwards. If you have time, give her your time. If you don't have time, tell her to come with you as you prepare. If she won't only then do you begin emotional manipulation because that is completely unreasonable. You don't cry like a bitch, and you certainly don't use logic. When it's time for battle, logic is your true enemy, and emotion is your weapon. You think that you're involved with a logical being. That is false. This is an emotional being. That's the order of battle. When she goes off the rails, which is inevitable because women have periods, this is when you resort to emotion; otherwise, it's best to treat her equally and fairly.

You do not try to reach consensus with her in this state. She is unwilling and unable. You have to break her and only then can you two begin to talk like adults again.

When she becomes unreasonable, that is the time to strike with emotion. The great thing about emotion is that it doesn't need to make sense. Just start talking about emotional things, and you'll have her spellbound. I've told my queen over and over and over how I use this when she loses it, and she still falls for it every time, bringing her back into line.

You have a child, so here's an easy one "[some coworker who may not even exist who she will never meet]'s kid is sick, and they think [it] may die". Fear. Something like that is usually perfect for putting her under your spell. Most likely, she'll be in the bathroom before you, looking for a hug and falling over herself to try to help you get ready at the same time. When she's properly emotionalized by you, she becomes sexually attracted and attached to you.

What men across the planet don't know is that giving emotion is male equivalent of shoving tits in your face. Judging by your situation, you'd be putty if she did that. See what I mean?

WARNING: When you use emotion inappropriately, you create a slave, and your family will perform at suboptimal productivity.

Your sexual situation is even easier to cure. What do you do? Put your "tits" in her face. Whenever you're ready, as in, when you want to have sex, you start pumping her with emotion. I've written about some basic strategies in my other posts. You can get a good idea of how to build your technique from those. You think your wife is boring, uninterested in you, and asexual? No sir. You're not doing the man equivalent of showing your tits or sucking dick. Why should she give you some when she's not getting any?

Even though you may like to massage her feet, until you get sex on your terms, take that away. She needs to be broken of old patterns. Never again trade anything non-sexual for an orgasm. Until you get sex the proper way, you will not trade semi-sexual acts or words for an orgasm.

It is important that you ensure she gets at least one orgasm with you per your orgasm. The reason for this has been beat to death on this sub.

This is also very easy. Search for the video "squirting equals fun". This is the perfect example on how to make a woman squirt which is the strongest orgasm a woman can have. Essentially, using your mouth, apply suction on her skene's glands while avoiding her urethra. She will eventually make strange noises. At this point, you tell her that the urination sensation is not actually urinating and to go with it. Once she seems like she can't take it anymore, use your middle and ring finger facing towards her clitoris with your knuckles inside her vagina facing towards her anus and make a gentle piston like movement. You are trying to stimulate her g spot, the long stretch of soft tissue, with your fingers. Start slow and eventually go faster. Don't do it too roughly, and listen to her. If her voice starts breaking too strongly, or she sounds uncertain, slow down the rate, and then slowly move faster when she gets control. Women have stronger physical responses to orgasms, obviously, and they like to feel them about as well as we like to feel emotion. When she starts to squirt, take your hand out and gently wave your hand across her clitoris until she makes you stop, or she stops squirting.

With these methods, you wife will come back into line, and you both will be much happier.

AlphaAsFAQ · 2014-09-17T23:40:15+00:00

deleted

Misteralcala · 2014-09-18T12:42:10+00:00

This is one instance where your wife needs your compassion, not anger. She sounds like a housewife who doesn't have any friends or hobbies to keep her busy. If she's at home all day with a child and daytime TV and the internet keeping her busy, she's probably just stressed and lonely.

Women are in need of constant attention, whether it's from their friends, family or their men. They are just constant attention machines - no way around it. This is a peek into her mind:

She doesn't feel sexy blah blah blah you don't make her feel wanted.
Her friends have more exciting lives than her and you guys never do anything fun! Boo hoo hoo.
You must not love her anymore because all you care about is work!

Her attention machine isn't getting fed, and the 'you go gurl!' post replies on her FB aren't cutting it anymore. She needs you to show her more attention. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. Is it inconvenient? Absolutely.

Somebody made a brilliant post the other day about women and their Daddy, and I'll paraphrase it as best I can:

When a little girl scrapes her knee, she goes to Daddy to make it better. When little Johnny teases her and makes her cry, she goes to Daddy. Daddy doesn't have to do anything special to make her feel better, just a hug, a kiss on the cheek and to agree that yes, Johnny is a brat and she's a very special princess. That's it. And she goes back to play with Johnny, laughing and playing like it's no big deal.

You're Daddy now. She is looking to you for emotional support, to kiss her boo-boos and make her feel like she's doing good. It's part of normal maintenance when you have a LTR - sometimes you just have to use a soft comforting touch.

I think a lot of us here at TRP forget that sometimes comfort, agreement and some caring can go a long way - especially in a marriage.

*

tombreck2 · 2014-09-18T00:06:32+00:00

Have you read Married Man Sex Life primer? It has a lot of good stuff for marriages that look bleak

redpilldude · 2014-09-18T02:51:59+00:00

Women are illogical. They make decisions using their feelings; this is well-known. If you stayed with her for 5 minutes, then you would have gotten stuck in traffic and been late to work. If you are late to work too much, you will get fired. Then, your wife would say that you aren't supporting the family.

Compromise is the key. Next time she asks you to stay for 5 minutes, hug her and hold her in your arms for 2 minutes. Then, tell her that you love her and that you can't wait to see her after work. Then, kiss her goodbye and leave for work.

mordanus · 2014-09-18T20:06:57+00:00

I want you to think of how many times you say this to her in a day

what do you want me to do

You need to cut that phrase out of your life. Stop looking to her for leadership. Stop chasing her for guidance. Notice that every time you say it you get that petulant whiney wife that keeps saying "Nothing is wrong" and expecting you to be a mind reader. What she wants is to know that you are the leader of the house and that as her leader you value her.

Let's talk about this next part here.

this is the woman that only lets me touch her on the couch if I'm rubbing her feet...

This is a serious issue here and is the reason you feel this way towards her. You aren't getting the validation that you need as a man/husband and so you are hesitant to give any back. First you need to know that the reason she isn't letting you touch her is because she doesn't find you attractive. You need to fix yourself mentally and physically. Drop your extra weight, prove yourself more manly, increase your stoicism and game. Become more attractive to her and she will want you more.

Right now she wants the occasional validation just like you. The way to fix that so that both of you are happy is to increase your smv.

wildchild11 · 2014-09-18T01:05:57+00:00

you have a long way to go in terms of applying red pill to your mindset and marriage. you'd better get started

[deleted] · 2014-09-18T01:15:41+00:00

haha

"what do you want me to do tell me!!"

"iunno... hang out in the living room?"

what a looney tune

chamaklio · 2014-09-18T12:41:48+00:00

Just adding another perspective here, not necessarily RedPill advice but having a young kid is a lot of stress, especially if the mother gets left alone with it all day. They say they want kids, "I love kids" and all that shit but when the kid pisses them off, which it will, they tend to lose it, especially if they are stuck with the kid 24/7. Seeing as your kid is 18 months, and your wife has been pissy for over a year, this is most likely the cause.

When my son was little, I was busy at work too, so my wife also went nuts after a few months. Luckily my mother-in-law was nearby, so she was able to releave baby-duty for a few days per week, and my wife got a break.

tldr; she needs help with the kid, doesn't know who to ask for help, so she vents on you.

IanIronwood · 2014-09-18T00:11:46+00:00

as /u/AlphaAsFAQ said

It's not a shit test, as lame as it sounds, she just wants to spend time with you.

I was going to say this. It sounded like she wanted to spend time with you OP and just doesn't understand the impact of leaving 5 minutes late can have. Granted, this was stupid on her part, but I don't think was a true/intentional shit test. In this case, I'd honestly give her a small break this time....which is rare for me to say.

Remember, you are in an LTR which means you will have to lead/teach her to understand these things.

garlicextract · 2014-09-17T23:42:33+00:00

I don't even know what to do, I'm at my office an hour away and ready to just say fuck this.

Dread. Game. Dread. Game. Dread. Game. DREADGAMEDREADGAMEDREADGAMEDREADGAME

Search this sub for 'dread game' and that is your new bible.

Invalidity · 2014-09-17T23:35:58+00:00

You should have looked at her as if she was crazy and left. You don't engage her actions, you have to dismiss it as childish and immature, because it is!

I would start spending more time elsewhere than coming home. Something that will improve your own well-being like working out and what not.

Most guys would be too scared to not engage their wife and do their own thing... but that is exactly what you need to do. Let your wife's mind run and do its own thinking. Most women cheat on their husbands when their husbands have made life too easy for them (full-time supplication, "I'll do whatever you want me to honey", etc.). They rarely cheat on husbands who have a strong foundation.

Title	Shit Tests?
Author	dherik
Upvotes	28
Comments	28
Date	September 17, 2014 11:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2gpikv/shit_tests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/shit-tests.21286 https://theredarchive.com/post/21286

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