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Should I be worried gf texts other guy?

liftedhabits
June 12, 2014
0 upvotes
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Post Information
Title Should I be worried gf texts other guy?
Author

liftedhabits
Upvotes 0
Comments 47
Date June 12, 2014 1:54 PM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/27yppa/should_i_be_worried_gf_texts_other_guy/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/should-i-be-worried-gf-texts-other-guy.16586
https://theredarchive.com/post/16586
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Comments

[–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 23 points24 points25 points 12 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

I'm focused on the relationship

What relationship? She is looking to upgrade, and you are her BB "boyfriend" only in name, until she can swing to that higher AF branch.

Downgrade her to plate, start looking for the next good thing, and then cut her loose when you have it. That is what she is doing to you, so reciprocate and don't get a case of bitter oneitis. Keep your positive outlook on life and the future, start chatting up other gals every chance you get, even if you are not going to ask them out. Lift, sleep, eat right, focus on school/career, call buddies for a night out. Etc. Stop spending nearly so much time with her, and then only when you feel like it. If she fades out, so be it.

If the foregoing plan reignites her interest in you, don't fall for it. She is not long term material.

[–]liftedhabits 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree not long term at all. Was a fun ride but time to find the next roller coaster. Thanks. I been making my physique and work a priority. Without a girl to focus on my priorities will shift for the better.

[+]UncleAugie -8 points-7 points-6 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

If you are suggesting looking for the next thing before you tell her it is over, that is shady. You are worried about not having sex after you leave her and you don't know when you will have another girl. That is Beta.

An Alpha would tell her. Tell her you are not happy, and then walk away, not this make your self better and let her fade Bull shit.

[–]liftedhabits 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The sex is minuscule. I have a lot of female orbiters drooling over me that I could easily fall back on. When I brought it up, I told her it made me feel uncomfortable and that I don't expect her to stop. But that I don't trust her and that I don't see our relationship being successful of recovering from this. It's a little tough as we are very close and have a strong bond, but I guess it was just an allusion and the reality is, she's a female and females do what females do.

[–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you have already spent too much time talking about the relationship with her.

WTF do people think this will cure anything, especially at the age of 18-20? No woman in that age group ever got "talking about the relationship" into seeing her man as a sex god. It is how women get reassured the guy is beta oneitis over her. That is all. No points are awarded to such guys for being sexy, only dependable.

[–]UncleAugie 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Bullshit, that isn't what females do, that is what humans are doing. You just stated you have female orbitors, just like the guy she is talking to. Man up and end it. Your 20, stop this 'we have a bond' shit and move on. Tell her flat out you are no longer monogamous, that you are interested in seeing other women. By saying you didn't want to talk about it because you were 'uncomfortable' you admitted your beta tendencies. End it, sooner rather than later and move on.

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

By females do what females do I meant act hypergamous. Swing to the next branch. While I have orbiters just as she, I cut them off while she kep them around. Of course just a conversation could spark up past plates, I didn't feel the need to because for the beginning of the relationship she made me happy. But I agree with you hundred percent, minus the man up part. Everyone handles emotions differently and this is still a lot for me to manage yet I feel I'm doing much better than say 1 year ago, thanks to red pill. Anyways I gave her an ultimatum; I can keep her as casual sex/fwb or we can split ways. Either way I will no longer be committed to someone who seeks validation elsewhere.

[–]UncleAugie 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You can't use an excuse. By saying 'this is a lot for me to handle, but I'm doing better than last year' you are indicating that it is out of your control. That is a victim mentality. No one but you has gotten you to where you are. Your 20, your not supposed to have everything figured out, it's ok. No complaining, no excuses. You came here posting to have your Internet friends pump up your ego. I say that because you just said you know what to do(end the relationship), and you did it before you posted, now you are looking for confirmation you did the right thing. A fierce gentleman takes responsibility for his own decisions, and doesnt seek validation for his choices

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I appreciate the truth. I actually wanted first to see if I was being over dramatic, or if my reaction was called for which it was. I still have a ways to go but this just pumps me to learn more

[–]UncleAugie 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop seeking validation for your behavior.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]liftedhabits 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

It happened 3 hours ago and I didn't want to be impulsive and end things right then and there. I wanted to carefully asses the situation. But you have a point. It wasn't even him saying I miss you, it was her. Haha. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, definitely get out of there ASAP. But this does belong in /r/relationships. Best of luck to you man.

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I told her, "act like a female, get treated like a female" aka I told her she can choose what we do; keep it as casual sex friends with benefits thing, or break up and split ways. I'm going to be firm and also manage other plates now. Thanks for the advice.

[–]Wheyman92 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

So you basically gave her the power in the situation by allowing her to choose what happens between you two. Congrats.

[–]liftedhabits 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Regardless of what she chooses the relationship is done so I don't see how it would make much a difference, but out of curiosity what do you suggest?

[–]Wheyman92 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You're right the relationship is over so it truly doesn't matter. Maybe if you did things a little differently you could still fuck her for another month but does that really matter? To a man like me not at all, I don't value pussy much.

The reason I feel you could have handle it differently is because you empowered her instead of yourself. Sure both options result in the relationship ending, but the latter results in you taking control of the situation and making decisions.

You have a lot to learn but don't get discouraged, we all do. Be confident in your decisions and go with your gut instincts. Here's a quote from one of my favorite shows.

"Do you know what being a leader means,? It means getting second-guessed by every twat underneath you. But if you second-guess yourself, everyone's fucked"

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks that quote helped me stay strong behind my decision. I see what you mean and looking back it would have been better to maintain control rather than let her decide the future of our sex

[–]LeviGoldberg 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As always, Robert Greene prevails: Law 36: Disdain What You Cannot Have

When we’re faced with a problem, showing how much concern and anxiety it is causing us will only worsen things up. Instead of doing that, this law suggests that in dealing with such problems, it is better to play the contemptuous aristocrat and not acknowledge the existence of the problem. There are several ways we can carry out this strategy:

The sour-grapes approach – when there is something you want but you cannot have, it is best to not show your disappointment by complaining about it. Instead, act as if it never really interested you. That’s the tactic of the powerful.

http://48-laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2008/08/law-36-disdain-things-you-cannot-have.html

[–]Haus_of_Klaus 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Overly defensive? Starts to cry? Those overrecations are immediate red flags that she's been caught and trying to manipulate your emotions.

Some women may text male friends, but constant texting, writing shit like "I miss you", using your old nicknames, and trying to hide her activities is not okay.

You said you dropped other women to date her exclusively. That was your mistake. She wanted to date you because of your old behaviors and liked the fact you saw other women. That's why you never change for a woman. Ever.

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

My mistake indeed. I still have much to learn but if it weren't for posts like these id be so much worse right now. She definitely was trying to manipulate my emotions but I'm somewhat immune to tears now. I really gotta start upping my game with other ladies now

[–]icyhot39 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Bud, Check out the sidebar and read more. TheRationalMale is a fantastic resource. After you do that for a couple of weeks you won't need to ask us what to do.

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks I haven't finished all side bar material but now that I'll have plenty of free time I will. Any other good reads you recommend?

[–]icyhot39 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most are great, but I started on RationalMale and went from there.

Year One - The Rational Male

Year Two - The Rational Male

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Relationship is over. Move on. She is already in a T-minus countdown to Operation NewDick, if she isn't already "on station".

Freeze her out, dread game, radio silence. She will either come back full force or she will branch swing. Have outcome independence and abundance mentality.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel she's searching for a backup branch to swing to incase the relationship ends

No, she's got a backup branch in case her swing is unsuccessful. Which is you.

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

NEXT

http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/19/next/

[–]ModMachiavellianRed[M] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

/r/asktrp

[–]eatplaycrush 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

You do realize your girlfriend posted at RPW already, unless you are really her too?

You already said to her

Update: He called me informing me we can "either break up and never talk again, or we can continue to just have sex and nothing more (Friends with benifits).

So why do you have questions? An RP man sticks to his words.

[–]liftedhabits -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I didn't know she posted. And what questions are you exactly referring to?

[–]eatplaycrush 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You asked TRP and less then 5 minutes ago you tried to post over in RPW about the same exact thing. Don't play stupid here. You keep asking the same thing over and over, but if what you said to her is what you meant then there isn't exactly a reason to post again in RPW. If you meant what you said to her then end the relationship 100%. In her mind, she thinks being a plate for you has the potential to save the relationship most likely.

The only way I found your username and this thread was because I saw your post on RPW that either you removed or one of our mods removed.

[–]liftedhabits -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I simply wanted a female perspective. I deleted the post almost immediately after posting because after scrolling down I saw her post as well and thought better of it. If I offended you by not deleting the post quickly enough then by all means, get over it. I asked the question twice so I fail to comprehend your "over and over again" logic.

[–]eatplaycrush 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Over and over again, two times. That's two times too many. How much reassurance do you want/need? You look weak. You already had a plethora of men tell you to get out of the relationship so WHY did you want women's views when YOU ARE NOT A FEMALE? Please, re-think your logic. I highly, highly doubt men who post here about their relationship issues will then also run over to RPW and get their advice because guess what? The advice will be the same in theory, but different since we cater to a female demographic and here they cater to the male demographic. We all believe in RP theory despite being female or male. YOU need to obviously learn that, and much more about RP. There's nothing to get over. It's not even the fact of deleting it "fast enough" or some bullshit. I'm not 5. That's just straight up weird as a man who claims to be RP, as a man who has already GIVEN HER two choices on how to handle it instead of you just cutting things off with her

Edit:

I didn't know she posted.

So, yes you did after the fact of you posting which made you delete it.

[–]liftedhabits -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The reason I posted on trp to begin with is because I am weak. I'm not pretending to be some top dog alpha. I have beta characteristics and am still learning. If you expect me to handle a breakup without needing reassurance that I'm doing the right thing, you're mistaken. TRP is for helping each other and learning to embrace your decisions, which i am doing. The whole dilemma shook me up and it's only been about 6 hours so bear with me. I don't think of myself as perfect but I'm 20, young and have much to learn. I don't see the need to get so flustered over a post in RPW and like I said, if that offends you, then I can't help. I deleted it for a reason.

[–]eatplaycrush 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Once again, it never offended me. That's just down right weird. You're trying to better yourself, listen to the men here. Why do you think us women will have a different answer for you when discussing RP LTR's when we all have the same thoughts?

You want a female opinion? Leave.

[–]igotbeatbydre2 points 12 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Why is this post even on here? Post this in r/relationships you chump

[–]liftedhabits 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I wanted a perspective from douche bags like you

[–]anttyk47 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Obtain plates, maintain weights

[–]Confluenced 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP motto for life conditioning, Love this

[–]chunkPB 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You have to decide for yourself. Do you want to accept that she's texting to other guys or not?

I would try to escalate the situation by saying something like you can text to him, but don't expect I will stay with you furthermore.

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I just don't want to deal with a girl who texts other guys. I made it clear this wouldn't last much longer and she is now aware.

[–]Brad_Wesley 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What's there to worry about? If she leaves so what? Women are plentiful.

That's the generic answer. In this case however she wants another dude, the sex is shit, and you said "you want to drop her". So drop her.

[–]liftedhabits 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea if the sex were better I would consider putting in the effort but lately she hasn't cared about my needs and I don't like that. I know plenty of women who would love to be attentive to my every need and desire. I should stop worrying since I know in the back of my mind that girls are easily replaced.

[–]UncleAugie 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Your 20, walk away. Number say any marriage started before 28 or so ends in divorce. Odds of success are higher if you meet her after 20-30. Spend your 20's casually dating.

[–]laere 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

One rule of thumb I've heard is this:

"Is the girl worth dropping the 5 plates you have?"

[–]liftedhabits 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well too late for that now but I just gotta get back on my feet and keep slaying on.

[–]Endorsed Contributoraaron_the_just 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This belongs in /r/asktrp, but the only sensible thing to do here is plate her (if you want to spin plates), or just get her out of your life completely.

I've made the mistake of forgiving girls who've done this, and it's never ended well for either of us.

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