Shut up and sit still.

TheDialecticParadox · 2015-07-20T03:01:46+00:00

I got on the train yesterday from work, it was packed but there was a seat next to a third wheel opposite a couple.

Mr. Third wheel was telling a story about a teacher that hated him in high school (these people were all pretty young), he was doing the following:

Nervously squeezing his right wrist and rubbing his hands while he was talking, almost like they were cold, even though the weather was warm.
Nervously laughing whenever one of the couple said something, 100% when it was the girl (HB7), even when it was non-humorous.
His left foot was jittering constantly
Adjusting his fringe occasionally
Kept glancing at me to see if I was looking at him (I was studying him in my peripheral vision whilst looking past him out the window)

What was the alpha boyfriend doing? Remained perfectly still, talked only when it was necessary, and was completely relaxed.

HB7 kept trying to interlock her hands with his and purred into his shoulder, he didn't even glance at her the whole trip and it was giving her the tingles.

These are all things that I used to passively ignore and fail to recognize.

welpcomma · 2015-07-20T04:57:03+00:00

Never underestimate the value of shutting the fuck up. It has saved my ass more than once, and lack thereof has ruined more than a few encounters. Gabbing is for women. Men speak with purpose.

Wolf_A · 2015-07-20T01:12:15+00:00

I've noticed men around me who constantly give off nervous energy by moving around (shifting their weight, wringing their hands, laughing at everything, holding closed body language) and talking too much (filling their conversation with "like" and "um", speaking too fast).

This was me a couple of years back. Didn't realize that it was very detrimental to my standing at the workplace. Now I take my own time to respond and say only what's necessary to the bare minimum when asked about work and it's been doing a lot of good and improved my value among co-workers and especially my boss.

SlappaDaBayssMon · 2015-07-20T02:17:34+00:00

I used to apprentice to a real old school type guy, we'd ride into work together everyday. If I said some ridiculous, stupid, or brainless shit while we were in the car he would just flat out ignore me. That's when I learned I don't need to express every little thought I have.

Derbi50 · 2015-07-20T02:25:20+00:00

"(People) will read all sorts of things into a knowing smile if you let them." -Jamie Lannister

Nespos · 2015-07-20T04:48:42+00:00

If you find that the fidgeting, restlessness, disturbed or excessive speech and the like to be a problem, reducing your caffeine intake may help.

DukeofSWAG · 2015-07-20T05:25:30+00:00

THIS.

I made a conscious effort NOT to talk to a solid 8 when she was around because my friend was into her.

Guess who fucked her.

teeelo · 2015-07-20T03:23:23+00:00

This is a really great post idea.

Most of what you are talking about has become habitual behaviour and people don't even know when they are doing it.

Eliminate 'Uhhh' and 'Ummm' from your vocabulary. I dare you. It's a lot harder than you think.

silvertongue35 · 2015-07-20T04:41:36+00:00

Body language is 80 percent of communication. Being expressive is NOT bad thing when done with amused mastery.

Why I say that is you can COMMAND their attention with expressive body language. It's a lot better than looking at the ground when talking and keeping your hands in your pocket.

DarkestRoad · 2015-07-20T05:31:41+00:00

Truth.

I'm usually exuberant at work (female managers and mostly co-workers) when I can be, but focused on the tasks that needs to be done. After all, positive vibes make a positive workplace.

However, some time ago when shit was falling apart and we were falling behind due to new employees, I cut my words short. At first there was a chuckle or two when I said "I'm not taking any chances" towards checking over the things that needed to be done, but a dead-serious stare cut all that shit. I had dedicated plans to keep. Even if overtime's great, that's more of MY time being wasted.

Effectively changing the tone works wonders. Things go from "I dunno, maybe?" to "Yeah, let's do it" so fast it's incredible.

sardinemanR · 2015-07-20T07:14:48+00:00

This describes women, and so men doing these things would be doing womenly behavior. As such, they need to correct themselves.

I've had to do a lot of public speaking, and one of the first things you learn is exactly what you mention about the speed of speaking. It's better to speak slower, but even more importantly, pause after your sentences.

Most people feel awkward with pausing. But in fact, that pause is going to be a lot shorter to the listener than it is to you as the speaker, at least until you are used to it. It creates a more natural, at least public, stream of speaking. Easier for people to follow, and they respect it more because the sentences all sound better and have more authority.

I however do prefer to overall speak faster, especially in informal conversations. Especially where people may cut in. However when speaking to women, especially when first looking to pick one up/start a sexual encounter/run game what have you, most, pretty much all, will listen very intently and will never interrupt. So speaking slower and using pauses is extremely effective.

DoesNotMatterAnymore · 2015-07-20T11:54:09+00:00

On "speaking too fast": one thing that helped me a lot, remember this

"If someone speaks fast he is not confident enough to believe that others in the conversations will wait, and listen to his opinion."

If you speak fast, you are insecure as fuck. STOP THAT!

MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN · 2015-07-20T03:22:19+00:00

[deleted]

LancerKagato · 2015-07-20T05:09:09+00:00

so what do I do while in excessive chronic pain? I have a few bad injuries and weird nerve conditions from my time in the service

Terror_of_the_Void · 2015-07-20T08:41:29+00:00

The men on my men's team (MDI) make such a big deal out of my body language, to the point where they literally thought I was gay. Since my team is a safe place to be honest, I can only imagine how many other people are thinking the exact same thing. Girls can have their own reasons for thinking you're gay, and that's fine, but when men think that, you know there's something wrong.

Funk54daba · 2015-07-20T12:48:12+00:00

Just think of Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec. I'm even staring at his "Pyramid of Greatness" on my office wall.

"Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary."

"Frankness: Cut the B.S."

Impeach_Pao · 2015-07-20T01:24:10+00:00

I also believe when walking a slower, relaxed pace tends to appear more confident. Urgency tends to make you appear anxious. Slow, deliberate movements make you look like you are in control of the situation.

RPthrowaway123 · 2015-07-20T13:11:56+00:00

This is the same kind of shit that boys hear from their teachers starting in elementary school. Then they pump you full of Adderall until you sit still and shut up.

Title	Shut up and sit still.
Author	MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN
Upvotes	108
Comments	54
Date	July 20, 2015 12:21 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3dw0xn/shut_up_and_sit_still/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/shut-up-and-sit-still.34813 https://theredarchive.com/post/34813

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