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MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN
[–]TheDialecticParadox32 points33 points34 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I got on the train yesterday from work, it was packed but there was a seat next to a third wheel opposite a couple.
Mr. Third wheel was telling a story about a teacher that hated him in high school (these people were all pretty young), he was doing the following:
Nervously squeezing his right wrist and rubbing his hands while he was talking, almost like they were cold, even though the weather was warm.
Nervously laughing whenever one of the couple said something, 100% when it was the girl (HB7), even when it was non-humorous.
His left foot was jittering constantly
Adjusting his fringe occasionally
Kept glancing at me to see if I was looking at him (I was studying him in my peripheral vision whilst looking past him out the window)
What was the alpha boyfriend doing? Remained perfectly still, talked only when it was necessary, and was completely relaxed.
HB7 kept trying to interlock her hands with his and purred into his shoulder, he didn't even glance at her the whole trip and it was giving her the tingles.
These are all things that I used to passively ignore and fail to recognize.
[–]welpcomma 40 points40 points40 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Never underestimate the value of shutting the fuck up. It has saved my ass more than once, and lack thereof has ruined more than a few encounters. Gabbing is for women. Men speak with purpose.
[–]Coyote_Spirit8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
As the old class clown this is extremely true. People only see you as entertainment and nothing else. It took me 26 years to learn to shut my goddamn mouth.
[–]1oldredder-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
but being the class clown is often alpha and works women into wanting you for confidence, emotional drive and more
[–]Prometheus7203 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Being a monkey for attention is alpha? Hardly. If your only method of making friends is self-deprecating humor, you're probably not on top of the food chain, buster.
USING that kind of humor is fine. Letting yourself goof off occasionally is fine. But being a monkey is just being a monkey.
[–]1oldredder-2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
purely alpha. It's what got most guys laid at parties or highschool that I could see. It doesn't have to be self-deprecating: that is a silly assumption on your part.
The class clown shows the most confidence and social ability.
[–]esco_3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You guys are really arguing about entirely different breeds of "class clown"
There are the guys who aren't very popular/socially skilled and so use humour as a crutch to fit in. They overuse it and everyone treats them like a joke. Often these guys are short, ugly, watever. These are the monkeys prometheus is talking about
Then there is the socially skilled guy who everyone likes. Friends with most people, talks to everyone, etc. This guy can also make lots of jokes and pranks, but hes seen as "cool, funny, interesting". Humour is less of a crutch for him, it's used because he is entertaining himself, not necessarily others.
Big difference in these two types
[–]1oldredder0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Never seen this 2nd type of class clown before
[–]esco_0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
seen plenty. Usually it is just a fun-loving guy with a fun personality. If they look decent, they get heaps of pussy
[–]Prometheus720-2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes, because getting laid at (particularly high school) parties is the best criterion for deciding who is and is not alpha.
The class clown only shows that he doesn't know how to have normal human interactions without the crutch of humor. It's better than being a wall-flower, but it's not good for the ego. I've known many class clowns, and none of them were very happy about their position after enough time passed.
[–]Meloman0001 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The problem with me is that I hardly talk unless I'm comfortable. It doesn't help that I speak softly, stammer, and stutter.
[–]throwawaylifespan5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt. :: Abe Lincoln
[–]1oldredder1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
needs detail: if you say too little it's assumed you're boring or scared. When you get a woman talking about what she likes let her talk. Use the opportunity to act almost-interested but work on touch as soon as possible. Let the touch flow with her emotions then redirect those emotions right to desire.
[–]Wolf_A14 points15 points16 points 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I've noticed men around me who constantly give off nervous energy by moving around (shifting their weight, wringing their hands, laughing at everything, holding closed body language) and talking too much (filling their conversation with "like" and "um", speaking too fast).
This was me a couple of years back. Didn't realize that it was very detrimental to my standing at the workplace. Now I take my own time to respond and say only what's necessary to the bare minimum when asked about work and it's been doing a lot of good and improved my value among co-workers and especially my boss.
[–]herdingdagains 3 points3 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Any tips for someone who is actively trying to accomplish the same thing? My biggest problem is answering technical questions when I'm not immediately sure if the answer. I stutter along and then it's all downhill. I've been practicing staying in the moment and taking my time, but there are a lot of times where once I'm surprised I lose focus.
[–]Wolf_A3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
Assuming that you hit the gym to lift regularly (boosts testosterone and overall confidence levels) and have a good posture (carries that confidence and makes you appear dominant) the next most important thing to inculcate has to be IDGAF attitude (basically be outcome independent).
When your colleagues seek your help then they have to go with whatever you tell them from your experience that has worked for you. If you are in double mind then it is most likely that you are pre-occupied by thoughts about that very advice you give and if it would work for them or not. People will pick up on that like a blood hound.
You've got to back yourself up when presenting ideas and advising others. It took some practice for me because initially I was constantly worried about how others would feel of my new found confidence in telling them how to do things when I am consulted, but it became easier by the day as I started to develop IDGAF attitude.
[–]herdingdagains 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I am 6'2" and a lean 205. Thinking about hopping on gear, pretty sure I will in the next month.
Thanks for the tip, i think I worry too much about sounding dumb, and just like you said, that insecurity is picked up on quite easily. I'll work on the idgaf attitude as well.
One thing I love about trp is there is an abundance of people who will give it to you straight. That's exactly what dudes need to take themselves to the next level and continue improving. Thanks for the help.
[–]rKremlin 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Gear can do wonders. Just be smart about it, and do your homework.
I've been subbed to steroids for over a year. I'm ready. I'll just be doing 500mg/wk test e. I've got enough AI on hand for the entire cycle. I'd start now but I have to travel for work out of the country, so I'm waiting until I'm back from that.
[–]rKremlin 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Try slin pins. You'll be glad you did.
I'll give it a try. You use it for ventro glute?
[–]rKremlin 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Ive used slins on every part of the body. SC is considered as good as IM by some, and superior by some. Ive heard it called bro science but Ive used it for years. Didnt notice any downsides over IM. And its basically painless.
[–]herdingdagains3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I read that it has worse absorption, but maybe it was slower. You home brew too? Maybe you're prepping really good gear or something.
[–]rKremlin1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ive heard it has smother absorption rates. Less of a spike and dip. I use pharma test. Im apparently predisposed to aromatizing. So I dont use tons of gear. Gyno is a bitch for the unlucky guys.
[–]Surf_Or_Die3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Just be honest. If my boss asks me a question and I don't have the answer I tell him "I don't know but I'll find out and get back to ya". Especially with technical questions. Me trying to bullshit my way to an answer could cost tens of millions of dollars before anyone notices.
[–]the99percent14 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Be careful with this.. too often and you'll actually appear incompetent.
Do your research thoroughly before approaching your boss, client or manager.
[–]Surf_Or_Die1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it happens too often you ARE incompetent, you're not just appearing as such. We're on the cutting edge of technology in my line of work and it's a process of constant learning. Nobody is holding a gun to my head forcing me to stay on top of my shit, but I read scientific papers, stay up to date on research and generally keep myself informed on what's going on in our market. With that said, at least once a week I get blindsided and have no choice but to admit that I'm not sure or I don't know.
[–]herdingdagains1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If I really don't know, this is almost always my response. I have more of a problem where there are multiple routes I could go and I'm internally trying to decide on the actual answer. When I write it out it's obvious now that I should just be saying, "there's a couple routes we could go, but I'm sorting out the details to decide which one works best for the company." Thanks for the help.
[–]I_HaveAHat0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Always wait at least 3 seconds before answering.
[–]grimreaperx22 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I read a post a while back on here that mentioned saying "um", "uh", "like" without need to fill gaps in my sentences was bad. Ever since I have worked to stop doing that and so far been doing pretty good. The effect of this is pretty noticeable, people seem to show more respect and it gives a sense of integrity.
[–]SlappaDaBayssMon8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I used to apprentice to a real old school type guy, we'd ride into work together everyday. If I said some ridiculous, stupid, or brainless shit while we were in the car he would just flat out ignore me. That's when I learned I don't need to express every little thought I have.
[–]TheDialecticParadox4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I've recently been hanging out a old guy that's sort of become a mentor to me - The same thing happens with me.
Him ignoring me has made me realize how often my social behavior and commentary accommodates conversation with no value. I say things with no purpose just to fill an uncomfortable silence. After a while you get used to the silence and learn to reply only when you actually have something to say, instead of flapping lips.
[–]Derbi50 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"(People) will read all sorts of things into a knowing smile if you let them." -Jamie Lannister
[–]Nespos4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you find that the fidgeting, restlessness, disturbed or excessive speech and the like to be a problem, reducing your caffeine intake may help.
[–]DukeofSWAG 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
THIS.
I made a conscious effort NOT to talk to a solid 8 when she was around because my friend was into her.
Guess who fucked her.
[–]teeelo2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a really great post idea.
Most of what you are talking about has become habitual behaviour and people don't even know when they are doing it.
Eliminate 'Uhhh' and 'Ummm' from your vocabulary. I dare you. It's a lot harder than you think.
[–]ididnthithim1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dont forget the unnecessary use of the word "like" multiple times in a sentence. Girls generally do this but some guys do it too!
[–]teeelo2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. 'Like' follow by 'uhhhh' is a common one.
[–]silvertongue35 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Body language is 80 percent of communication. Being expressive is NOT bad thing when done with amused mastery.
Why I say that is you can COMMAND their attention with expressive body language. It's a lot better than looking at the ground when talking and keeping your hands in your pocket.
[–]DarkestRoad1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truth.
I'm usually exuberant at work (female managers and mostly co-workers) when I can be, but focused on the tasks that needs to be done. After all, positive vibes make a positive workplace.
However, some time ago when shit was falling apart and we were falling behind due to new employees, I cut my words short. At first there was a chuckle or two when I said "I'm not taking any chances" towards checking over the things that needed to be done, but a dead-serious stare cut all that shit. I had dedicated plans to keep. Even if overtime's great, that's more of MY time being wasted.
Effectively changing the tone works wonders. Things go from "I dunno, maybe?" to "Yeah, let's do it" so fast it's incredible.
[–]1sardinemanR1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This describes women, and so men doing these things would be doing womenly behavior. As such, they need to correct themselves.
I've had to do a lot of public speaking, and one of the first things you learn is exactly what you mention about the speed of speaking. It's better to speak slower, but even more importantly, pause after your sentences.
Most people feel awkward with pausing. But in fact, that pause is going to be a lot shorter to the listener than it is to you as the speaker, at least until you are used to it. It creates a more natural, at least public, stream of speaking. Easier for people to follow, and they respect it more because the sentences all sound better and have more authority.
I however do prefer to overall speak faster, especially in informal conversations. Especially where people may cut in. However when speaking to women, especially when first looking to pick one up/start a sexual encounter/run game what have you, most, pretty much all, will listen very intently and will never interrupt. So speaking slower and using pauses is extremely effective.
[–]DoesNotMatterAnymore1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
On "speaking too fast": one thing that helped me a lot, remember this
"If someone speaks fast he is not confident enough to believe that others in the conversations will wait, and listen to his opinion."
If you speak fast, you are insecure as fuck. STOP THAT!
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]MUTHAFATHAGENTLEMAN 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
deleted What is this?
[–]LancerKagato0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
so what do I do while in excessive chronic pain? I have a few bad injuries and weird nerve conditions from my time in the service
[–]Interversity2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
smoke weed everyday
no but seriously if you have a medical condition that makes you move around a lot don't worry about it
[–]1oldredder0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
find a good pain treatment. Depends if it's joints, muscles, nerves, digestive system - you need a doctor's advice to start
[–]Terror_of_the_Void1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
The men on my men's team (MDI) make such a big deal out of my body language, to the point where they literally thought I was gay. Since my team is a safe place to be honest, I can only imagine how many other people are thinking the exact same thing. Girls can have their own reasons for thinking you're gay, and that's fine, but when men think that, you know there's something wrong.
women are liars. They make friends with actual gay boys. They don't make friends with men who aren't masculine enough but clearly are not gay. They exploit them or ignore them
[–]Funk54daba 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just think of Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec. I'm even staring at his "Pyramid of Greatness" on my office wall.
"Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary."
"Frankness: Cut the B.S."
[–]Impeach_Pao-1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I also believe when walking a slower, relaxed pace tends to appear more confident. Urgency tends to make you appear anxious. Slow, deliberate movements make you look like you are in control of the situation.
[–]Njwonderjunkie9 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I kind of disagree with this but it could be because I grew up right next to nyc, everyone walks fast. And I think walking at a comfortable but quicker pace seems like you're walking with purpose
[–]AsylumHarbour-3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. A stark example of this are the meth heads downtown. They are fast walkers. You know they need to be somewhere or something bad is going to happen.
[–]RPthrowaway123-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the same kind of shit that boys hear from their teachers starting in elementary school. Then they pump you full of Adderall until you sit still and shut up.
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