Spontaneous Conversations - Do Not Let Yourself Be Cold Called

Ender1337otron · 2015-04-29T23:30:44+00:00

Looks like everyone but me is taking your advice before commenting on this post.

_whistler · 2015-04-30T00:27:28+00:00

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. The cold-calling thing is a fantastic analogy. You've brought multiple principles from The 48 Laws of Power together seamlessly with this post, and I really have nothing to say other than, I commend you.

RedPope · 2015-04-30T02:19:09+00:00

This is a good post, but notice that you are able to handle your GF in realtime. You're not sending her to VM or telling her to come back later. You don't do that, partly from necessity, but also because of practice. As a man, you've experienced hundreds of relationship freak outs and shit tests. Some you may struggle with, but most you probably brush aside without hesitation.

You introduce delay into your interactions with employees and clients because you need time to think and prepare. This is not a bad strategy and is quite effective, but it leads me to assume you've only been in this position for a short time. After a few years of handling employees and clients, you will rarely feel caught off guard. You'll be able to predict these conversations before they arise. You'll have faced these situations so often, you will proactively anticipate the majority of their arguments and your responses. They won't feel like "cold calls" anymore.

The same holds true for strangers. Like management, social interaction is a skill learned and improved through frequent experience. Pause every 6 months to study, review, and reflect -- this is the secret to growth. But nothing teaches quicker than repetition. TRP and PUA agree: Approach, approach, approach!

thedude122487 · 2015-04-30T01:43:40+00:00

I agree, I do the same things whenever possible. Can't think of any examples off the top of my head at the moment.

J_Dizzle1000 · 2015-04-30T06:00:54+00:00

I do this often with phone numbers that I do not know. I also do it to my military peers and commanders. I will often let the call go to voice mail and when I listen to it I listen for message content, voice, tone and tempo of the message to get an idea of their mood and what the call might be about.

NoRegretj · 2015-04-29T23:35:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

icecow · 2015-04-30T04:22:53+00:00

I already do this, but I've only mastered it on a ~75% level. Just yesterday I was thinking about bringing this up in r/askredpill in a different way. I think red pillers know not to commit via reacting. I was going to introduce/ask for canned responses to these situations similar to those given to shit tests. When someone pops a cold call on you, what are the best canned responses to push the issue to later?

For example:

I'm have a house for rent. Someone calls and I answer. It's someone who knew my mom years ago who wants to rent it. He talks about some experiences he had as a friend of my mom and is already at the 'what do you say?' stage.

I don't want to react either way though I'm already thinking 'no' because I don't do personal ties in business. He was wanting to continue carrying on the conversation. The best I could do was say, "Hey, I was just about go out the door to take care of some timely chores. I'll call you back later tonight, or tomorrow and we can talk about this" That was good, but it sort of took all of my effort to do that: it shouldn't have. About 75% of the time I can get a cold call to be addressed at a future time after thinking about it. I've noticed there's a pattern here that can be addressed much like bitch tests are.

Buraque · 2015-04-30T08:46:57+00:00

What I see lacking in your post is some feedback to the other person.

I will answer the call from a client, listen, acknowledge, ask questions and at the end give a vague, general response that buys me time.
When my GF freaks out (rarely happens), I would again listen, acknowledge, ask questions and figure out a way to ease her down for the time, until I come up with a solution.

I think it is not very 48 laws to avoid phone calls or just listen and not give any response.

There is great power in ambiguity. You might say something like: "Okay, John, I've written it all down and I will get my team working on it. I'll speak to you later." or "It seems like the problem is X (very general description). I believe that we should do Y (very general solution)."

The one who operates on a more general level, controls the conversation.

So my point is: give a general, vague, but concrete-sounding response from which you can easily back off or change it into something else.

iwakebord2 · 2015-04-30T02:25:33+00:00

Your important note is the gold here:

Important note: I'm a nice guy. My employee probably does deserve a raise, my GF probably does have a point, and I'm actually trying to solve the client's problem.

However, I'm going to give myself time to plan, and then I'm going to act with extreme boldness. I am not going to lose the game on defense before I have a chance to play offense.

I'd be interested to others' stories about how they've delayed, planned and acted.

SlickThroatButter · 2015-04-30T09:56:00+00:00

This is a foreign concept to me. I've always valued my wits and quick thinking in order to come ahead in unexpected situations.

I'll give this "cold calling" method a trial run and see what happens.

HS-Thompson · 2015-04-30T15:34:24+00:00

I think this answer betrays weakness and isn't solid TRP advice. Refusing to interact with people unless you have everything in place and have had time to plan is just simple hesitation and is likely borne of fear.

Nearly all high-performing individuals have absolutely no choice but to respond to complex and nuanced situations in real time with inadequate information and preparation. This goes for top athletes and those engaged in war or combat, as well as more run of the mill high performance situations like running a business, being interviewed by someone, or simple in person sales. Musicians, airplane pilots, television hosts, poker players, and many other situations require this.

By avoiding these kind of interactions you are not training yourself properly to handle them. You need to be able to deal with other people quickly and decisively, without hesitation and with confidence and clarity. I'm speaking as someone who has started and run several businesses involving clients and employees, for context.

Now, I think you have a general point that as a leader, you need to learn how not to let other people decide your schedule and how you spend your time. The ability to focus on the task at hand and gracefully parry interruptions is certainly a leadership skill, and one that becomes crucial as you start to have more than a couple employees, for example.

But if you're not able to think and act quickly and decisively in your interactions with others when the stakes are high you are weak and ineffective. And if you're not practicing how to do it in your day to day actions you're not improving.

You can quote Robert Greene all day but this advice is misguided, and suggests weak and timid behavior.

CleverNeologism · 2015-04-30T18:23:58+00:00

You could always try the car salesman trick of "let me speak to (X) real quick" in the business setting. "Let me check with {person or group} and figure out the best way to address this." This even works for raises (it's basically just an informal 360 review).

DJVendetta · 2015-04-30T18:32:49+00:00

I am like this and it offends most people, in the fact that I do not emotionally respond to things in the same way that they would, for example by getting irate or visibly angry. I think it stems from narcissism but I agree with most of your post - I hate it when I am 'cold called' because and respond in a bad way whilst letting my emotions get the better of me, it makes me feel like shit for a while afterwards. Stay rational.

2015-04-30T03:07:19+00:00

Link me to that list please?

bumbo90 · Thu Apr 30 17:16:20 2015 UTC

This is very unpractical. This advice sounds good on paper, but you really can't be thinking of all of this when you are talking to somebody.

Title	Spontaneous Conversations - Do Not Let Yourself Be Cold Called
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	173
Comments	33
Date	April 29, 2015 10:25 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/34bvsz/spontaneous_conversations_do_not_let_yourself_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/spontaneous-conversations-do-not-let-yourself-be.32012 https://theredarchive.com/post/32012

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