Stop being a Good Little Boy

From the time you were born your parents needed a way to control you. That's not to say that you were inherently a negative or destabilising influence on the world, or that your parents didn't love you. Rather, it's just that if a human child is left to its own devices it is basically assured of eventually inadvertently killing itself. Your parents controlled you out of necessity, not oppression, and they did so very much for your own wellbeing.

Once you grew a little older, you developed basic cognition and the ability to speak for yourself. You also developed the ability to walk, and this greatly enhanced your ability to cause all manner of chaos to both yourself and the environment in which you were raised. Accordingly, your parents continued to lay down an even more stringent framework of rules and regulations, again for your own benefit. These rules and regulations existed to keep you safe from harm as well as to teach you to become a functioning member of your household and society at large.

Because most of the things which your parents wanted you to do went against your natural desires at the time, you most often didn't want to do as you were told. To a three year old boy, eating all the ice-cream in one hit, shitting on the carpet, then jumping off the balcony sounds like a pretty sweet day out. Unfortunately, everyone who's not your three year old self disagrees.

Accordingly, this gap between what a three year old naturally wants to do and what is necessary to keep it both alive and a functional member of human society is usually bridged by the creation of incentives. These incentives can be basically summarized thus:

"Do what I tell you, and I'll give you something nice".

Simplified even further:

"Obedience = Reward".

This framework of rewarding obedience is part of our formative development years and stays with us well into our young adult lives, and once you have left the home environment and begun schooling, it could be argued that the influence of this framework grows even stronger.

"Get good grades, and you'll get a good report card."

"Get a good report card, and your parents will be happy with you."

"Make your parents happy with you, and they'll buy you that remote control car you wanted".

You didn't really give a fuck about getting good grades. No ten year old cares about grammar and multiplication. But you sure did give a fuck about that remote control car. So you got the good grades because you were incentivised to do so.

Incentivisation is not just about the receipt of physical goods like remote control cars, candy and trips to WaterWorld. Its also about the receipt of another thing which all humans crave which is validation. Validation can be defined as "the approval other people". Validation might have first come to you by your mother telling you that you have been a "Good Little Boy". Maybe she even gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, a loving smile, and some extra ice-cream for dessert. Slowly but surely, you got hooked.

For every young boy there is something very special about receiving the validation of a woman. When we're young, we don't know that it's all about sex, but its still completely intoxicating. It feels great to have people be happy with you, and its a very powerful motivator. We like how it feels and so we want to send that equation - "Obedience = Reward" - into overdrive.

Personally, I was addicted to gold stars. I coveted those shiny little motherfuckers like they were Aladdin's treasure itself. I once got a gold star put on the collar of my school shirt, came home and proudly showed my mother. She was rapt - gave me a big hug, told me I was a Good Little Boy and let me watch my favorite cartoon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I can still remember that day, because it was one of the best days of my life. I don't think I've ever felt so validated since.

All throughout our school lives, our adherence to the golden rule (Obedience = Reward) seems to serve us very well indeed, absent of perhaps one or two slip ups where we didn't quite get the recognition which we felt we were entitled to. If we got good grades, our teachers were happy with us. If we went to bed on time and kept our rooms clean, our parents were happy with us. If we worked hard on the sports field and won our games, our coaches were happy with us. It seemed that we had unlocked the key to a charmed life - doing what everyone else told us to do and making them happy, then receiving their validation and praise as a reward.

Then school ended and the thread started to unravel.

We got an apprenticeship or another low level job, and eagerly applied our golden rule (Obedience = Reward). But it seemed that for every piece of work we did, there was just more work to do. Sometimes we got a thank you, but sometimes not. Sometimes we got a pay-rise, but sometimes not. And sometimes, even though we'd worked really hard and done everything that everyone told us to do, we got nothing. No gold stars, no pat on the head, no Good Little Boy. Sometimes we worked really hard and nobody even noticed.

Whereas once we were satisfied with gold stars and smiles, surviving in the real world requires money. And what we fast realised is that people are a lot less willing to part with money than they are to part with thank you's and gold stars. But even so, in this world where money didn't seem to flow as readily as praise, all around us people were still giving us the same advice which pointed us back to the golden rule - "Obedience = Reward".

"Work hard and reach all your KPIs, and you'll get a raise".

"Become known as a hard worker, achieve good results, and you'll get a promotion".

"You've gotta work hard - that's the way to make it up the corporate ladder".

We are diligent and focused, and we wait patiently for our gold stars and pats on the head, but for some reason they are not forthcoming. We get confused. Why isn't this working? I've always been a good little boy, and I've always done what I'm told, and I've always been rewarded. What's going on here?

And then, we meet women.

The heady rush of masculine sexual attraction meets our now finely tuned craving for female validation, and we are overwhelmed. We'll do anything for a taste, anything for her to love us. For her to look into our eyes and say "Anon, you're a good man. I love you. I appreciate you." and then to give herself to us. We'd do anything...

So we look for a chance to plug in our golden rule into this new environment. Obedience = Reward. Just do what she wants, and then she'll give us the validation and the sex that we so desperately crave. Fortunately for us, the women have made it very clear what they want. There is a whole series of requests to be met, a whole list of demands to fulfill, and a whole list of wants to satisfy. Like Milhouse's brain says: "When she sees you'll do anything she says, she's bound to respect you!".

I don't need to go into the details of how this process of willing servitude unfolds. As this forum clearly shows, our efforts to apply the golden rule to our love lives fails spectacularly. Not only that, but there seems to be an entire subset of men who actively disobey the golden rule, and they're almost drowning in female attention. Not only that, but many of them seem to have more money than they know what to do with, more respect amongst their peers than we could ever hope for, more career prospects than we could ever hope for, more gold stars than we could even dream of - WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???

The death of the Good Little Boy

The main difference between you, the Good Little Boy, and the so called "Bad Boys" is that good boys have been socialised from day one to do what they're told. When they do what they're told, they are rewarded, and they feed off the validation that they get for doing the right thing.

What is the "right thing"? Essentially, it's doing what someone else has told you to do. Someone told you to do something, and you did it, then they rewarded you. So you learned to follow orders to get that validation which you crave. You feed off that validation because it feels amazing to have everyone love you.

The problem with you, the Good Little Boy, is that you have been programmed to follow a paradigm which is quite simply non-functional in the jungles of the real world. Obedience = Reward is a lie created by your parents, your teachers and your boss to ensure that you willingly enslave yourself and dedicate your life to fulfilling the wishes and desires of other people. In contrast to the benign motivations of its original inception, in actual fact when applied as an adult to the harsh and unforgiving nature of the real world it becomes a fast track to utter misery and eventual self destruction.

I do not believe in the label of the "Bad Boy". I believe that most "Bad Boys" are better known as "Real Men". Real Men do not rely on the validation of others. They have their own desires, their own plans and their own ambitions. They are self-motivated, self actualizing and self driven human beings. They feel desire, make plans to actualise that desire and then they execute those plans. They don't worry about what other people think of their plans because the opinions and approval of other people is completely irrelevant.

The Red Pill man, unlike the Blue Pill man, does not involve himself with pointless paradigms like "Obedience = Reward". The Red Pill man ignores what other people are saying, know what he wants and how to execute his plan to get it. He does not care if people think of him as a Good Little Boy or not. He has moved on past such childish thought processes.

If you don't know what you want, and you don't have a sense of direction, you're still a Good Little Boy who is waiting patiently for someone to tell him what to do so that he can obey and be rewarded, just like he was taught to do his whole life. Unfortunately all you will find is those who are willing to exploit your weakness for their own gain. The real world is merciless and your mindless adherence to the paradigm of your childhood, even in the face of constant evidence that it is useless, ensures that you will continue to be walked on and unfulfilled.

You're not a man until you learn how to find out what you want, how to get it, and how to not give a fuck about what other people are thinking about you. A real man learns to how act independently of the validation he will receive from others and actively works to divorce himself from the need for that validation which he has been addicted to for so long.

If you cannot wean yourself from the teat of validation you will never be a man. You will always be a boy, still chasing the validation of your mommy, your teachers, your boss and all those girls you so desperately wanted to cuddle with.

Why do girls love "Bad Boys"? Because "Bad Boys" aren't actually boys at all - they are MEN - or at least they have the necessary quality it takes to be a man. On the other hand, boys or Blue Pill men don't have the necessary qualities to be a man. They're still trying to feed off the validation of others and they don't have a sense of self direction. They don't have a sense of drive, or planning, or vision for how they want themselves to be, or how they want their lives to be, or how they want their relationships to be.

If you're Blue Pill you are still floating, still meandering, still directionless and above all you are STILL WAITING for someone to come along and tell you what to do with your life so that you can do what you are told and be rewarded.

Women love Bad Boys, because for better or for worse they know what they want. They don't care what other people think. They don't need validation. They will simply go and get what they want without permission or apology. This is the core of masculinity, and it is magnetic to women - because that which is truly feminine will always seek that which is truly masculine.

You have been raised obedient, and for a time, it worked. For a time, it was necessary. But not now. Now is the time to realise that the world doesn't give a fuck about your obedience and your golden rule is an obsolete relic of your childhood which you need to leave behind. The more you try and stick to the broken paradigm of your upbringing, the more you will prolong your own misery and delay your growth into self actualizing manhood.