Stop being so available

SlyAM · 2017-03-10T23:37:25+00:00

This isn't too hard for me. I quit Instagram as I believe it is stupid to post photos online in order to receive validation in the form of "likes" and "comments". I rarely use facebook, I only do when it's to talk to a friend or a family member, and I don't use twitter as again I think it is just plain stupid and time-consuming. Mainly a snap chat guy, but I turned off the notifications from the app because I believe you should go on it when you want to, not when the app beckons you with "HB1000000 sent you a snap!". Seriously I think more people should do this, turn off all your notifications for social media, it really is freeing. Not to mention that it allows you to use the app on your terms, not when it calls to you with a notification.

Can't even begin to tell you how many times I've opened my snap chat after a long day and girls have just blown me up. Sometimes I'll have the same chick send me 4 or 5 snaps, almost pissed because I'm not replying right away like a beta. Really helps to enforce stoicness and give you the persona of a busy Alpha, even if you're not.

spleeb · 2017-03-10T23:46:47+00:00

If people are being bossed by their technology then they are weak. Unless you need your phone for essential works purposes - on call/promised to retweet promotional material/keep people up to date with info etc - then you don't need to have your eyes buried in your phone and your head buried up your ass.

I dispute that it's an addiction, it's just a fierce habit.

[deleted] · 2017-03-10T23:24:08+00:00

I just get rid of my fb, insta, twitter, etc.

I use texting and snapchatting mainly

Goateeki · Sat Mar 11 1:50:21 2017 UTC

I'm going to go out on a limb here: Social media is like saltpeter to a man. We talk about frame. Social media is one giant female frame. OP is correct. Instant communication and social media make men into needy, overcommunicative, oversharing pains in the ass.

I've read dozens of posts on this sub in which men tell us "and then I saw that she did this or that on FB." I could not live like this for a day. It would make me quit women entirely. No amount of vagina is worth sitting in front of a computer all the time monitoring the antics of women.

mcr00sterdota · 2017-03-11T13:55:47+00:00

It's so sad when I see this in the younger generation. My sister is 13 and she's ADDICTED to her phone, even with family she's on both her iphone and ipad. It's hard to watch.

godfatherchimp · 2017-03-11T14:32:18+00:00

How about get rid of all social media period. Maybe leave a Facebook profile that demonstrates SMV. Never do anything on it except accept friend requests.

Social media is for women and betas. people who use it crave attention. by using it you are automatically entering a woman's frame. High SMV men don't waste their time

ThroatPoka · 2017-03-11T02:36:39+00:00

I just had a few women hitting me up. That was it.

Gotta keep the ego stroked, right babe?

TheRedStoic · 2017-03-11T18:03:48+00:00

Reposting an extreme cut of this, because OP did a very solid job.

summary

Perceived Scarcity. It gets panties wet, and is one of the easiest to add to your arsenal. One of the easiest ways to maintain Scarcity is directly related to management of your time. (How you do that is up to you), but one thing you can do to make your life easier, is keep the mobile on silent or vibrate.

You help yourself exude outcome independence and the perception of being busy by maintaining silent and vibrate only. Don't ever set your phone to ring when out to make an impression.

body

Keep your phone on silent mode. It gives you a healthy mentality, without any added stress. Take the time to set your phone to silent, and set favorites or important individuals to vibrate. Not only does it remove the constant orders of your phone controlling you, it also provides the feeling that you're in demand to any attempting to reach you.

fr I am always on silent. Only business partners can ring me and that's after responding to an automated "please text urgent" there are myriad apps that can handle this for you, just go find one that works well for you.

I don't notice when a girl messages me out of the blue, even my girlfriend. Simply because there are no notifications. This creates the illusion "but likely just emphasizes the truth" that I am busy. The flip side of this is that i get responses immediately 99% of the time. Giving my time up is known as a massive service on my part to pretty much everyone I interact with.

passive scarcity

One of the keys to building a Scarcity model into how you're seen by others, is to passively make it difficult to get a fast response from you. Obviously this must be tempered with judgement, knowing whom should be on vibrate /ring and who shouldn't, (business partners, vibrate and ring, family? Maybe. Friends? Maybe. A plate? Fuck no.) If your life really is that busy and filled with constant messages bouncing around multiple platforms maybe you should get a secretary. Or even better, a secretarial app. Or the best option, simply batch, silent, or remove notifications.

One of the most satisfying occurrences in my life is showing up to an event or responding to a person and seeing the faces light up oooh metal! I thought you'd be too busy!

the devil of distraction

Distraction is rampant in our world, between the actual physical interactions, constant blaring advertisements, stupid media droning, and let alone the digital multiverse of social media, it is a serious problem forcing the average Joe to sit down and be present in the moment of things. From testing in school to staying only in the conversation at a bar, to simply thinking about nothing during your daily meditation, silence helps you focus. Relearn how to entertain yourself, how to take mental stock of the surrounding environment, how to be present with those surrounding you.

Limiting your phones input is a major step in being aware and being present.

combating addiction

All too many know the small rush of getting that late night ding on a Friday after a weeks hard work. Potential booty? House party? Tinder match? Facebook message? Nice pair of tits spilling out of your inbox?

You don't need that validation. None of these things are physical. They're just set ups. You are completely capable of stopping the addiction, the instant response and constant empty gratification of messages and nothing more.

If you want to quit smoking you remove all evidence of smoking.

If you want to cut carbs you remove all non essentials from your house.

If you want to appear busy, remove things that interrupt your being busy. It's really that simple.

urgency

Don't worry about missing something, if you're socially crushing, a vibrate will come through eventually, you can deal with the flood of bullshit much more efficiently when you're trying to blast through ten messages in a minute rather than 1 every 6 minutes.

When you've unlocked that phone because your boss or partner dinged you and you see 4 messages from the boys, 8 from sluts A through H, and myriad stupid notifications, you start scanning and ignoring really quickly. Remember the goal is to be off the phone asap. Back to your actual life. You'll become more logistical than appeasing. A living practice of precision and a follower of the fish does not get in trouble until it opens its mouth

challenge

Do it for a fortnight, maybe a month. Just give it a shot. If your life suffers, I'll take the blame. My shoulders are broad.

It will improve. You will be more at ease. Others will respect your time and attention more than ever. You will have kicked yet another addiction to the nonreal and improved your focus and smv at the same time.

the temple is built from small stones, a child could throw one, together they stand for ages, divided they are swept away.

Add this stone to your foundation. Good luck all.

TLDR

Mobile notifications should be silent for 90 percent of the people you know.

Vibrate is for important inputs only. Ring even more so. This is to cover those who necessarily need instant contact for whatever reason.

Get back to your actual life, not the 80% bullshit of the digital notification world.

Desperation breeds precision through necessity. You don't have time to respond to anything not directly affecting real world plans, immediately

Never spend more words or time than you have to.

Put the damned device on silent or vibrate only.

throwaway55778822 · 2017-03-11T08:51:06+00:00

I have a £10 phone that can only text/call, when I see so many people with their eyes glued to their phones I feel good honestly that I am past that. Gonna get a good camera though for holidays and such.

DesignerTom · 2017-03-10T23:12:55+00:00

What helped me to have less urge to check my phone was to go onto Facebook and Twitter etc. And unfollow everyone's posts. This means that when I log into Facebook it is a totally empty news feed. I have had it like his for months now and feel no urge to change it. I don't feel I am missing anything, I can predict what I will see and it won't be anything worthwhile to my life such as attention seeking photos, anti Trump posts etc.

REYMIFAH · 2017-03-11T00:51:21+00:00

Yeah so I don't think it matters so much if you know when it is appropriate, it is absolutely last on the priority list, like even in line at the store you should be aware of your surroundings not looking straight down at a screen

Kakka9292 · 2017-03-11T17:00:57+00:00

I've been without a phone for a year now. Still sucker for internet as I spend too much time on pc. For the first month of my no phone experiment I also did not have electricity at all. During that month I got 5 plates without even trying. It's very different mindset.

NotMyBestEffort · 2017-03-11T07:47:19+00:00

I have so far resisted the temptations of social media. While I am am aware of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Instagram. Tinder and such - even the potential benefits of these and other social outlets - I have not signed up for a single service as of yet. I feel like I have won this... so far.

trpbeginner604 · 2017-03-10T23:36:30+00:00

you shoudl do it for yourself but quality chicks don't go on FB and think that if you're on it constantly that you have low SMV. it associates you with feminine traits such as lurking, passive living, etc.

recklessrider · 2017-03-11T17:29:03+00:00

Or just not answer if you have something more important. I am prompt with my responses, unless anything else is more important. Its all priorities. It also helps that I don't use social media unless necessary.

JFMX1996 · 2017-03-12T06:06:06+00:00

Been over a year since I got rid of Instagram and it's been since my sophomore year in high school that I got rid of Facebook (graduated 2015).

Best choices I've made as a young guy.

You look around and see people enslaved to their phones. It's become the grown-ups "comfort object", you know, objects given to children to make them feel comfortable.

Most people are slaves to their phones. As I get older I find myself just wanting to ditch this smart phone and get an old flip phone from the early to mid 2000's.

Smartphones are awesome when used as a simple tool, but what bothers me is that people have become so dependent on them. Their entire self-worth is in the fact that they have x or y amount of followers or likes on Instagram, creepy beta dudes wanting to stalk their crushes and feeling like shit when they do so, and wanting to portray themselves as these guys girls re-post thinking it'll make girls like them, when they really just see straight through the bullshit.

Ask most guys to a certain location in a nearby city and they can't get there even though they've used Google Maps repeatedly over and over to get there because they've gotten so dependent on it. Ask them to use a map and they're fucked.

Simple navigation? Oh fuck, that's what my phone is for.

Anyway, I got a watch, and instead check that for the time now so I don't pull out my phone. You'd be surprised to see how rare it is of a thing. When you unplug, people will often remark to you how weird it is that you don't pull out your phone or tell you they like it because it's such a unique thing these days. When you can actually call a girl up, or get her number in person instead of figuring out who she is on Instagram or Facebook and DM'ing her for her number, it makes you stand out from the rest.

Nikelu · 2017-03-11T09:04:07+00:00

As a high smv bro I still keep social media around for some extra laids . It's a good tool if you are in the high % of males but a waste of time if not

Title	Stop being so available
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	166
Comments	35
Date	March 10, 2017 10:25 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5yp7fw/stop_being_so_available/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-being-so-available.41626 https://theredarchive.com/post/41626

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