Law 38: Think as you like, but behave like others.

I've seen a lot of renewed interest in the 38th law here, especially since the election.

There seems to be a consensus that behaving like yourself means you must be either seeking validation or be located somewhere on the autism spectrum.

I'd like to push back against this.

Many of us are hiding behind the 38th Law. It's a subtle form of hamstering--which is to say, hamstering at its finest.

I suspect the REAL reason a lot of guys here will never break the 38th law is because of fear.

It is the fear of rejection.

Realize that the clear majority of people do not need to be told the 38th Law because they know it innately. Most people are SCARED TO DEATH of not behaving like others.

In tribal times, if you behaved radically different, or questioned the traditions or leadership of the tribe, you would be kicked out. Ostracized. Left to die.

Because of this, we have evolved to feel intense pain when we sense we are disapproved of. It’s a biochemical reaction.

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about:

  • That sinking feeling in your stomach when people don’t laugh at your joke, and then you decide your joke isn’t funny, even though you would have laughed.

  • The urge to hit delete after posting something on Facebook that is controversial or not relatable to most. That remorse and self-hate you feel when no one “likes” you.

  • That surprising hesitation to tell even the closest people in your life that you love them.

That feeling is the 38th Law in action. Law 38 is your default setting.

Behaving like an individual is scary at first. Just like your first cold approach rejection, it is painful.

However, after some time, it gets easier. And then it grows into a sort of superpower. You are more congruent. You are now more free to act on your intentions. People begin to see your presence as a sort of force in the room.

But the reason most people will NEVER stop behaving like others is because they will always give a fuck about what other people think.

To illustrate the enormity of this task, let’s look at the average guy who cares what people think.

He buys an expensive “tribe-approved” car that he can’t afford. In fact, his car payments are taking the place of his retirement account deposits. He wears expensive “tribe-approved” clothes that need replacing every six months. He has carefully constructed his public persona by curating the “tribe-approved” behaviors and attitudes of others.

Now ask this guy to stop giving a fuck about what people think.

It’s not going to happen. His entire life has revolved around fitting in with others. He’s invested. He no longer remembers what it’s like to act as an individual. Did he ever? But there’s always Law 38 to keep him warm at night, and Law 38 can’t be wrong, it’s a law! (it isn’t)

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you’re not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire

Mainly, we’re afraid of what women think of us.

For example, we are afraid to tell women we are opposed to feminism. Female feminists, who evolved to have an even stronger aversion to ostracism, do not hesitate to express gratitude for their failed ideology, yet we as men are afraid to publicly oppose it.

What the fuck is going on here?

In a thread from the other day, OP self-righteously defended the 38th Law and hiding your opinions by saying “They haven’t earned your opinion.” This, ladies and gentlemen, is male hamstering in the raw.

“They haven’t earned my opinion?”

I’m sure this is what patriots said of loyalists, and what abolitionists said of slave owners.

No, they did not say this; these men, like many feminists do today, had enormous balls.

It makes me wonder, how many men won’t even tell their own girlfriend what they really think?

Let me tell you something feminists don’t want you to know.

Balls on a man is attractive. Standing up for yourself a