One of our great qualities as men is our need for CLOSURE. We like to see things to the end. We finish the race, even if we’re coming in last. While there are plenty of losers sitting on top of unfinished projects and unused gym memberships, the mark of a man is that he finishes what he starts.

However, that need for closure is too often a huge flaw when applied to women. We just don’t know when to quit. Life isn’t some romantic comedy or sitcom where you can pick away at a girl’s defenses until she welcomes you into her vagina. Chasing after a girl who has clearly expressed a lack of interest broadcasts to the rest of the world that you are a low-value male with no sexual options and a severe lack of social acumen.

When a man excessively pursues a woman, the best case scenario is a prime spot in her friendzone. More likely, you’ll ruin your own reputation when she gossips to other girls. And in the worst cases, you’ll have run-ins with the law or white knights.

You don’t want to give up on a girl too early. Seasoned veterans know that whenever a girl says “We’re not having sex tonight” she may as well be undoing your pants right then. However, girls can string you along in subtle and nuanced ways, and what you consider to be pursuit of a girl can easily be orbiting and oneitis. So what’s a guy to do?

The Rule of Twos

“Once is a mistake, twice is a choice.”

When pursuing a girl, if she ignores, rejects, or disrespects you TWICE, you immediately walk away and never contact her again. No apologies, no goodbyes, nothing. As far as you are concerned, she no longer exists.

  • If you ask for a girl’s number and she refuses twice, walk away.

  • If you text a girl twice with no response, walk away.

  • If she refuses plans twice (with no offer to reschedule), walk away.

  • If she flakes or cancels last minute twice, walk away.

  • If she shuts you down sexually twice, walk away.

  • If she disrespects or belittles you twice (physically, verbally, socially), walk away.

Some men will offer a girl two chances at each step. The less forgiving among you may find two chances total more appropriate. Regardless, with this method you can reliably pursue a girl and allow the relationship to run its course, while also avoiding oneitis.

There is no ambiguity to the interaction. By breaking the Rule of Twos she clearly demonstrates a lack of interest (allowing you to walk away with closure), while simultaneously giving you a clear point of exit (allowing you to eliminate any possibility of oneitis).

When you walk away, you need to do so cleanly. Don’t rationalize to yourself that she would be a “really cool friend.” Don’t send her some long butthurt essay via text. Don’t send her a snapchat of some other girl sucking your dick. Any of the above options just give her the drama all women crave along with ammunition to use against you in the future. Ironically, to give yourself closure you need to deny it to her. Just walk away with your dignity and frame intact.

She may or may not reach out to you later, at which point you can decide how you want to proceed. (Hint: If you perked up reading that, you have oneitis.) The key difference is that now she is entering YOUR frame and you dictate how the relationship proceeds. As always, the Rule of Twos applies, perhaps with even more stringent criteria.

Why This Works

Subtle rejections can often be mistaken for shit tests. There are a plethora of shit tests that fit the mold of a basic rejection. “I have a boyfriend. I don’t date short guys. I don’t put out on the first date.” and so on. But what shit tests have in common is that the girl still engages you. She engages you because she is interested or attracted, and wants to determine that you are a worthy sexual partner. By violating the Rule of Twos, a woman is either putting distance between you, thus preventing engagement; or stringing you along, preventing engagement on your (presumably sexual) terms.

Most likely, she was never interested to begin with, and is simply using the typical convoluted female method of rejecting you. But oftentimes it’s because you were unable to capitalize on her initial attraction and advance the relationship. You hesitated, you failed a critical shit test, or you said or did something offputting. The window of opportunity has closed.

But while she may not want to engage you sexually, she still enjoys your attention and validation. By carefully stringing you along she maintains your interest, reaping benefits from your interactions, while offering nothing in return. The Rule of Twos avoids such scenarios by forcing you to fundamentally ignore her words and focus on her actions.

If you find yourself invoking the Rule of Twos, it means you have failed. Which is fine; rejection is part of the game. Chasing after uninterested women, however, is not. Save yourself the trouble and divert your attention toward more eligible, deserving, and interested women.

This post is also up on SimplePickup if you feel inclined to check it out there.