Example of trickle truth. Long, but that's is the nature of this deception.

Me. I got a Facebook friend suggestion from this guy. Who is he? 

Her. He's a old school friend of my brother.

Me. Oh. OK.

I later have a look and notice that she is the only friend in common.

Me. Who's this guy, he's not friends with your brother.

Her. He was but they aren't any longer

Me. OK.

Do some digging. Find out he's an ex.

Me who's this guy?

Her. He's a friend of my brother, 

Me. No he's not I know who he is. 

Her. Well I didn't tell you as I thought you'd be upset.

Me. So doing it behind my back is fine?

Her. Well, I only contacted him and sent a friend request because his wife died and I felt sorry for him.

Me. I understand. You're a nice person.

Me. So who was this guy?  Tell me the TRUTH, the whole TRUTH and the whole story. 

Her. My first boyfriend, ended when I was 16. He joined the navy and found another girl who he married.

 

Me. OK. So you haven't seen him or been in contact with him since you  were 16.

Her. No, he really hurt me and broke my heart and I've always hated him since.

No alarm bells but uneasy feeling. 

Do some digging. Find out his wife did die. In 2012.

Do some digging. Find out she friended him in 2010.

Me. So you sent him a friend request because his wife died?

Her. Yup. I felt sorry for him. 

Me. But she died in 2012? You sent him request in 2010.

Her. Maybe I found out she was dying then.

Me. Oh. OK.

Her. He accepted my friend request, but we never sent each other any messages or comments.

Do some digging.  Find out I was out of the country for two weeks when she sent request. Alarm bells.. 

Me. So you sent him the request when I was away? 

Her. I don't remember

 

Me. But you posted your contact details, address, cell number.

Her. Oh, that was accidental. I did not know that they would be visible.

Me. And all the posts saying your significant other was out of the country for two weeks. 

Her. Did I? I don't remember that. 

Me. OK. Now I want the TRUTH. 

Her. Look me in the eyes. Why would I lie to you? I have told you everything.

Me. OK.

Later. Do some digging. 

Me. So you haven't seen him or been in contact since you were 16.  

Her. Yup.

Me. But what about your 18th birthday party. 

Her. Oh wait, maybe his friend was invited and he came along too. 

Me. So he was not invited, and you hated him and you did not throw him out.  Oh. And he fucking stayed the night.

Her. Yes, but nothing happened. I didn't even talk to him. 

Me. So this was the last time you saw him. 

Her. Yup.

Me. Ok

Later. When she realised there was a chance I knew some more 

Her. Well I might have coincidentally caught a train with him, sat next to him,  to his hometown and he asked me if I would sleep with him and I stayed at his parents house, but nothing happened. I hated him. Just a coincidence, of course.

Me. OK. 

More digging, more finding out.  I had already looked through her Facebook page, every message, every email. She could not have had an actual affair with this guy. 

Later, after looking through her Facebook every contact she had had with this guy.

Me, I want to look through your Facebook 

Her. OK. You can tonight.

Later.

Me. You've deleted all your Facebook posts and unfriended loads of people.

Her. Yes, but it's not because you were going to look through it, just coincidence that I did it today.

OK. So you get the picture. Dig dig dig.

She had a plan to run to this guy and F**k his brains out. 

One HUGE flaw in her plan, however.  I contacted this guy directly and he said, despite her contacting him, he had only commented on one of her posts ever.

He did not really want anything to do with her. 

She had chased him for ages whilst at school and could not take no for an answer. She was so desperate to sleep with him and had almost fully planned their marriage, even the day. 

She had invited him to the 18th birthday party and had planned to be on the train with him. 

He accepted her friend request as he thought there would be no harm in it and it was over 20 years since they had last seen each other.

He did not want anything more to do with her, especially not physically. He had never ' loved' her and took the opportunity to fuck her when he was a teen, as all teens would. Then moved on to someone better for him. 

I believe him. I looked through every detail and could not find one flaw in his story.  

How about that for a turnabout? She had it planned, but he did not want her, at all. 

The intention was there from her, even if nothing actually took place.

There were so many lies, so little truth, and only when I found things out. There were others, there was more in the past. 

More trickle truth. More discoveries about people in the present who she had had a past with. 

I do not care what she did before she met me, who she slept with, but when I found that someone who she said had only been a friend had had a full sexual relationship and she was in touch with him, and had invited him to have a drink with us,.

Don't think I'm a fool. I give second chances. However, if you don't look, or if one piece of information doesn't fall into your lap, you may not see the woods for the trees.