Hello gentlemen. Some of you are familiar with my previous post and all the bad shit involved in my marriage. During my divorce is when I found TRP. I have read, studied, done self-analysis and I wanted to share where I’ve come to in the past month and where I am headed.

I went through the anger phase and could have easily stayed there and been content being angry. Luckily for me, I have a natural Alpha as a friend. I didn’t realize what I had in my life until I truly studied TRP and saw all of these character traits in my friend. He has never read any of this stuff, he’s a pure natural. He kept me from staying in the anger phase. He was very callous in his statements to me, and it helped. He called me out on what I was doing, he did it straight and with love. It hurt, but it helped. It made me realize the most important things:

All growth is pain. We don’t grow in our comfort zones. Iron sharpens iron.

Personal growth has been painful. To search myself, find my flaws and accept them as such. Previously, I would make excuses, blame others and feel sorry for myself. Now, I hold myself accountable for who I was, how I acted and the decisions I made that allowed others the green light to walk over me.

Physical growth is pain. I went from being a 250 pound mound of flabber to 177 of muscle and still going. I will reach 170 by the end of May. There is the pain of not being able to finish a workout, pain of those days where I felt I can’t do another thing, pain of wanting to quit and give up, to go back to a life of mediocrity. Pain of knowing where I was and not being where I wanted to be. I had to hold myself accountable for not reaching previous goals. I have to hold myself accountable for obtaining my goals and I know that I will make all of my goals by the end of the year, then set new ones.

My comfort zone was blame. Holding everyone else in my life responsible for who I am today. I do have family of origin issues, but I am an adult. I am responsible for who I am today, what I think, say and do. Was I given a fair shot at life? No. For damn sure that answer is no. I was that kid you all knew, the one who was destined for failure. Here I am at 41 today, and I am the best version of myself. I no longer blame because I know that I am in charge. I am responsible. I am outside of my comfort zone and I feel fantastic!

Iron sharpens iron. My one friend I mentioned is not the only one. Others do not know the details of my situation, but they know how to help strengthen me in other ways. I have been challenged in the gym to do hard workouts with professionals, my thought processes are challenged, my vision for my future is challenged, my interactions with these men are challenged. I love it! Challenges are what strengthen us, we are forged in the fires of challenges and competitions. I do see my friends as competition, but not in the way most do. They are my challenge to become as great of men as they are, to obtain their qualities but with my own personal touch. They bring out the best in me.

I am nearing the end of my divorce, I can see the finish line. I know that my ex-wife will try whatever tactic that she can to complicate this process, try to get me back under her control in whatever way she can, she will continue to lie and manipulate others. I have no control over that, but what I can control is my response to her tactics. I no longer play her games. You want a deposition? No problem. You want to go to trial? Sure, I’ll see you there! You don’t want to help with joint bills? Okay, let’s have the judge rule on that. Don’t file your financial disclosure with the court? Okay. We have that on record as well.

There is no fear of her anymore, no playing the passive little bitch that she wants me to be. We have had minimal interactions since I left her last year, she does not know who I am today but she will find out this week. She has a deposition scheduled with me this week, she will see the changes. I expect that she will double down like she always has, this time the result will be different. I will not budge. I will remain pleasant and civil, I will kill her with kindness. I am a mountain of a man, strong, stoic and unmovable.

You see, she did horrible things to me during our marriage, but the best move on my part was to forgive her. I did not forgive her for her, I did it so that I could move on with my life. That’s where a mix of TRP and my own thoughts have blended to create something truly unique in me. I hold her accountable for the bad shit she did, but staying there without forgiveness kept me in the anger stage. I wanted out and that was the only way. To forgive her so that I could focus on myself. And it worked!

Be angry. It’s okay to be angry. My ex-wife took the ability to be angry at her from me by manipulating everything I did to be bad, everything she did to be “correct”. I am entitled to the anger I feel, but it was getting in the way of progress. Don’t do what I did, feel it, accept it, forgive and move on. I wish I would have done that sooner, but now after having that experience, I can share this failure with some of you and hopefully you can learn from my mistakes.

Sure, it’s slow and steady progress. Maybe not the path that all of you have taken, but this is my path. My journey to a new and improved me. I am in monk mode and it is where I need to be. Remain strong, focus on myself first and get what I want out of life. I know the women will come, but for now I’m focused on me and my goals. No piece of pussy is worth more than I am.

I will continue to put myself through pain. Physical, emotional and mental pain. Because one day it will end. One day the pain will stop. It will always be discomfort, but it will never be pain again. I will have the armor that is required for life, I will have the skills to confront and manage any threat to my life and self. The pain has started to go away, that’s enough for me to stay motivated.

Thanks to this community and my friends in the real world, I will be something special and I will make this world feel my presence.