Why wasn't I good enough?

silly_birb · 2020-02-04T23:33:19+00:00

As TFM once said, if women had all the money they want they would never choose good men but they will all fuck the same drug dealer and then their children will mate between step siblings and have retarded children in turn.

KetchupConquistador · 2020-02-04T23:54:47+00:00

[deleted]

shockred · 2020-02-04T23:44:20+00:00

She was probably still in some way involved with baby daddy (or someone else) and you were in the way of her making that happen.

Sorry if this hurts you.

Only to have her still leave and tell me that "I just want to go do my own thing",

Yet my Ex still walked out on me and later messaged me saying that she was "confused", regretted leaving and that she does miss me, yet later messages me saying that I was a chapter in her life that she "had to" close. All this after telling me how she lays awake at night crying in bed sometimes because she now feels like no other man can measure up to the type of dad i was to her little girl whom I ended up becoming greatly attached to and loving even more than her mom by the end of the relationship.

That's dual mating strategy of women. You were a good provider, but she simply wasn't attracted to you. She wants someone "better". She's a single mom and getting older, her options are quickly closing up, chances are that in some time she will try to get you back. Will you accept her? (protip: don't)

I feel like on dating apps that myself and others on there are just like "left overs in a clearanced bargain bin" at a store, possibly left behind or "thrown away by others" and I shouldnt feel that way.... knowing my own personal worth is more than that.

Dating apps are trash if you aim to get any meaningful relationship (if such a thing is possible in this age). They are good for meaningless sex of that's your thing and you can pull it off.

Being the age that I am i now understand that the likelyhood of me finding a woman close to my age that doesn't have kids already is highly improbable. And the rest are 20 somethings that either already also have kids and/or would rather twerk naked on camera for money and only want sugar daddies to fund their escapades or have no earthly clue what its like to be in a committed relationship with someone that genuinely gives a damn and wants them for who they are as an individual.

Yup. Modern society is degenerate and fucked and probably going downwards fast. You noticed it, now accept it and decide what to do for the rest of your life. You were raised to expect one thing, but society the world changed to something else. So change your approach.

But don't feel sorry for yourself.

I've been told that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but sometimes we are just shitty fishermen.....

So become a better fisherman, or even stop fishing and go do something else.

Your post reminds me of this: http://a.trp.red/n (comment by Michael)

I think there's much for you to learn, so check out these subreddits. Give them a chance, don't reject them if what they present disturbs you at first. Learn some, then decide what to do next.

r/mgtow r/Theredpill

And forget about your ex.

BertTheWelder · 2020-02-04T23:25:36+00:00

You’re right - many women don’t know what they want. They know that they aren’t happy, and they presume that it’s the man’s fault that they aren’t happy.

Happiness must come from within. If you undertake to make a woman happy, you will fail. Work on making yourself happy, and maybe a woman will come. Maybe she won’t, but you’ll be happy.

I know you miss what you had, but think of what you have now instead: peace, quiet, freedom to do what you want and what’s best for you. As someone who spent too many years living unhappily with others, trust me: you’re better off now.

Thetrvler · 2020-02-05T08:03:02+00:00

Never get seriously involved with a single mother. Ever. These women ARE the bargain-bin junk. They are so damaged they are irreparable beyond initial belief.

She probably left you because she felt guilty to have had a decent man in her life. She remembers how she would’ve treated you in her prime and it bothers her to be the one on the “bottom” now in life.

And I can promise you, she was still fucking the child’s father (or would if he came around). Once a man has children with a woman, her pussy ALWAYS ha a place for him. They’ve shared too much of a bond that you will NEVER reach. Even if you had a kid with her, you will NEVER reach the height of the previous father.

These women should be regarded as defective goods. Period. It sounds like you fell in love with her so it’s probably hard to imagine thinking like this about her now, but trust me- she’s damaged goods and just not worth the hassle.

I’ve been through this and I learned my worth and grew ten fold. I travel the world and hook up with women from all over the world. I studied their nature on a world wide level. Women with children are only meant to be used as sex toys and nothing else because they will do whatever you want in bed in hopes to get their hooks in you to get your resources.

MOliOreo · 2020-02-05T02:26:35+00:00

It sounds like this was an issue with her wants/needs being all over the place. There's absolutley nothing wrong with you.

If at all possible never let her think she has an in to come back to you. It is harder when you've gotten attached to the child but you really have to think about your long term goals. Finding a woman without kids in your age range will be hard but isn't impossible. I hope you meet your goals sooner rather than later.

RedPill_Dragon · 2020-02-05T06:19:01+00:00

Hello there, I'm a former White Knight, now been MGTOW 10 years. What you did was noble and good and in prior years, the single mother would have been humbly gracious for your actions and married you, even given you children. Women today are not like this. So.... she used you, yes, and it was calculated. And... she is going to try to use you again... just so you know, you are not out of this yet. She will return later and attempt something with you. What u/shockred and u/redpilling1993 wrote is entirely correct. I'll go further: She is going to ride the CC now that you fixed her up a bit and she is relatively stable.

My recommendations for you:
1) Go hardcore MGTOW Monk
2) Study Sandman, Coach Greg Adams, Terrance Popp, and Donovan Sharpe
3) If you must date, then when you are around 37, date women who are around 23.
4) Never again date Single mothers. NEVER!
5) Try to identify why you are a White Knight. You need to stop this for your own sake. I did.
6) Focus on your own career and personal happiness. It's gonna improve... just focus on it.
7) Remove all dating apps from your devices, remove those accounts, change your Credit Card so you don't feel temptation to return.
8)Fundamentally, you need to understand female nature. Once you do, it will be a lot easier for you go have big distance between yourself and them.

You are a good guy.... women will use you as a toilet. Once you stop this, the insanity will end.

EffinWhiteMale · 2020-02-04T23:38:34+00:00

Sorry to hear brother, her loss

xero-wing · 2020-02-05T08:50:50+00:00

Hay OP the part where she says she’s confused/ not quite wants you back. They do this so she can put you on the back burner leaving just a bit of hope in you maybe she will come back to you.

Maybe she will but who wants to be plan B. Join the gym go out with friends Abd try new things

Good luck my man

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-02-05T03:20:55+00:00

Sounds like she did you a favor. Have a kid with a first time mom instead.

carterrockhouse · 2020-02-05T19:01:25+00:00

There is some type of unspoken false myth than men have this idea that if they do everything right their woman will never leave or cheat on them.

If only you lifted more If only you were more dominant If only you had a bigger dick If only you held frame that one time

You can be gods gift to women, satisfy her in every way, and she will still cheat and leave you. That's their nature. You can never, EVER keep a woman on lock down! It isnt possible! Especially when society encourages a woman to do everything BUT stay with her man. Deck is stacked against you, there is no winning.

Even if you did fuck up, forgive yourself. There is nothing you could have done differently, and if there was, it would have just delayed the inevitable. She is a human being perfectly able to fuck her own life up from bad choices. Her being a single mom exemplifies that.

Focus on you. Yeah, it hurts. Nothing will change that but time. Take a day, a full day, to feel bad and morn the relationship loss. After that, focus on yourself. Love yourself, treat yourself right, and move on. Hating on yourself isnt going to change what is, and there is sooo much more pussy for the taking out there!

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-02-19T11:42:32+00:00

You did everything right and she still left. You are the reason she left, but it's not your fault.

Women have some seriously fatal flaws in their progamming and you, unfortunately, learned the hard way about one of them. She didn't leave you because you're a good guy with something to offer. She left you because she's not attracted to good guys with something to offer.

Being a single mom is the first red flag. Why is she a single mom? Birth control is free/cheap and available in a variety of options. Why did she stop using it? Things happen, but the question is.. what happened?

Why did the baby daddy leave? Why does he want nothing to do with the kid? Maybe she's an insufferable cunt. Maybe she intentionally fucked with her pill cycle so she could baby trap him. Maybe he was a worthless POS the whole time and she's still sexually attracted to him or his type.

The fact is that it doesn't matter and you'll never find out. Embrace your mourning phase. Go monk mode, settle back into your life and rejoice that you're not stuck with court ordered child support because "you were such a good father figure."

Based on the number of comments on this thread you have a lot of support out here. Don't suffer in silence. Post your thoughts here, talk to friends, or reach out to a therapist.

Always keep in mind that you did nothing wrong. The problem is women. They aren't attracted to good stable guys. As long as they think they can tame the abusive, emotionally unavailable guy then that's what they'll do. When they're ready to settle down, long after they are leftovers they're going to seek you out. Then it's up to you if you want to be someone else's 55th choice.

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2020-02-05T15:00:48+00:00

You were the beta bux. She is an alpha widow who cannot be fixed.

It’s not your fault bro there is just a lot of reading you gotta do. Go over to the red pill sub and spend the days ahead reading all of the side bar content.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2020-02-04T23:25:38+00:00

All that and you still place blame on yourself?

KetchupConquistador · 2020-02-04T23:19:42+00:00

[removed]

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2020-02-05T23:57:51+00:00

There's already been a ton of great advice on here. I'd like to add a little more.

If you ever decide you want an LTR again (and no one here will blame you if you don't), check out the sidebar at /r/MarriedRedPill. The attraction/comfort balance is essential, and No More Mr. Niceguy is a great read even if you stay in monk mode for the rest of your life.

And again, no single mothers. They're in resource-extraction mode, and will only use you.

Edit: this is probably one of the most important Red Pill writings out there: https://therationalmale.com/2012/05/16/hypergamy-doesnt-care/

MattFoley79 · 2020-02-29T06:37:32+00:00

It isn't that you weren't enough. It's that she is broken. With the exception of widows, all single moms are.

That guy who walked out on her and ignores his kid is her "type." She'd have him back in a heartbeat. Basically, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior -- people don't change.

If I were you, I'd be glad that you didn't get her pregnant. You could be in my situation where you're paying $1500/mth to support kids you barely get to see. Trust me, your situation isn't that bad.

I'd recommend either going monk mode, buying a doll, or finding a few reliable pros. Banging hookers after my divorce really helped me to understand women better and to put a monetary value on sexual experiences. Once I got it out of my system, I realized that the sex wasn't worth the money I was spending and I went full monk mode. That was about 5 years ago.

Things will get better.

Itsjustnickg · 2020-02-16T23:53:05+00:00

I've got a similar experience.

Title	Why wasn't I good enough?
Author	KetchupConquistador
Upvotes	112
Comments	60
Date	February 4, 2020 11:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/comments/eyyz0k/why_wasnt_i_good_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre/why-wasnt-i-good-enough.342120 https://theredarchive.com/post/342120

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