Hey all,

I started talking to this 27M guy about a month ago on OLD. He was slow to respond to messages- would consistently message me every other day rotating with my responses which I matched to his pace (day one he messages, then day 2 me, then day 3 him). He would send me paragraphs though and I would do the same. I thought hey it’s really early and we are just getting to learn about each other so it’s fine.

Went on our first date 5 days ago which was great. He was kind especially after I was an hour late because of traffic, asked me a lot of ques, etc

Didn’t hear from him for 2 days after the date and I did not reach out either as I wanted him to put in the effort. He eventually asks me how my weekend was and we start texting back and forth. Only about 2-3 texts per person per day. Even though I’m a fan of more communication, I figure this is okay as we should be connecting more on dates and we both have busy schedules so texting so much all day would be exhausting and not beneficial this early.

He still continued to take 2-5 hours between each response hence only 2-3 texts per person per day. No calls, FT, or anything else. And while he’s hinted at possible future dates and mentioned it at the end of the first date, nothing planned yet. Only been 5 days though.

He texted me yesterday morning to have a great day to which I said something quirky about my day. No response for the whole day. I don’t ever double text or probe him to respond faster.

Today morning I get this text: “Omg so sorry for the late reply. Just got so busy with work yesterday - any chance we could just pause until the end of this week? I’m anticipate a hellish couple of days!”

Mind you, I have a busy job too. And he did tell me on the date that he clocks about 80 hours a week but doesn’t have time for a few texts a day? Especially this early when he’s supposed to be putting in the effort?

I was planning on ignoring the message and waiting for him to text me again asking why I didn’t respond/am mad etc. To which I am planning on responding

“I want someone that aligns with me in terms of consistent, timely communication.”

Basically my standards are for consistent communication and I want to get this point across.

I’ve gotten advice from others to just state my needs now and other advice to say no problem but to give him one day when I’m free and see if he makes the effort.

Is it wise to ignore this text and wait for him to reach out again or do I say something now?