How do I stop being so angry at MEN? it’s effecting me in the daily.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-10-01T23:23:03+00:00

In light of what you stated, that you’ve been in only abusive relationships, a lot of what you’re feeling may be coming from a place of unprocessed trauma. It’s normal to have the initial feelings of frustration and anger and sadness upon educating yourself through an FDS lens, to see how men have treated you in the past with fresh eyes. But now the next step is to begin working on processing those feelings in relation to your past and moving beyond it through therapy and/or self help avenues.

Just like we know there are awful people in every facet of life, there are also good people. It serves no one to cling to cynicism. You will always find shitty people when you look for them. But once you become independent and learn healthy ways to process your emotions, you can let go of any presence that doesn’t serve you and bring closer the people who bring light to your life.

In a social media era I also find it especially helpful to follow a variety of male creators who show HV characteristics I am drawn to, like advocacy, positivity, empathy, charity, etc.

dancedancedance83 · 2021-10-02T00:22:02+00:00

I’m going to say that most men are not good in terms of character and that’s okay to accept. But I think the best thing you can do is learn to understand and establish what your boundaries are and what behaviors you will and will not accept from men or from anyone. It will be hard to unlearn patterns of choices you are used to making, but in the long run you’ll be able to make better decisions and also accept people for who they are and then act accordingly based on what you know.

Let me know if you’d like book, YouTube or podcast recommendations. I definitely suggest therapy to help with healing.

lucidlotus · 2021-10-02T13:59:54+00:00

I felt this way too. Two things helped: 1) an excellent therapist trained in EMDR (it’s amazing for processing trauma and intense emotions). 2) Figuring out how to love myself the best I can, and how to make my life the best it can be. It really is about 1) healing and 2) leveling up.

One little thing that helps me with anger at men is to think of how grateful I am to be ME and not one of them.

oscine23 · 2021-10-09T06:55:20+00:00

I was in a relationship with a narc for about two years before I realized what he actually was. After the initial heartbreak I went through a period of utter rage. The sight of any man walking down the street made me wanna throw up. I loathed them for many months. I decided I needed therapy lol I worked it all out, and I still think they’re crap for the most part, but I don’t want to stab them every time I see them, at least. And I’m dating a really nice one now.

See, I can laugh about it now. Lol But seriously, see someone and work through your trauma.

Title	How do I stop being so angry at MEN? it’s effecting me in the daily.
Author	wavesandtea
Upvotes	161
Comments	6
Date	October 1, 2021 10:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/pziwac/how_do_i_stop_being_so_angry_at_men_its_effecting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-do-i-stop-being-so-angry-at-men-its-effecting.1073012 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073012

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