I was dating this guy for 3 months. Rocky start from the beginning. He is emotionally unavailable and has intimacy issues while I have self sabotaging tendencies including nitpicking, overthinking and if what I envision doesn’t go as planned then it’s “wrong”.

After he asked for a month long break. I started to self reflect and realize how toxic I was and begged for another chance but he said he hung out with a girl multiple times only to discover she accepted him for him, detached from me while he said he missed me but a week before his return he said he couldn’t do this anymore and I convinced him to give us an opportunity to meet and discuss if that is truly what he wanted which he agreed sating he was pigheaded for being so rash .......

I discovered he had the dating apps the entire time while he told me he loved me and called Me his girlfriend..... as well as liking half naked girls on social media. As devastated as I am for my behaviors... I am truly hurt he didn’t sit down and communicate how he felt. Instead he held that back and said it was because of my behaviors and that it was all my fault . Now I’m questioning myself .... was it ?