Not really looking for advice here, just sharing some progress. Probably a shit post, but oh well.

I decided to leave work early after I called on dinner break (I work 2nd shift) and my wife told me my oldest son had another anxiety attack. He procrastinated a project, she got on him about it, I backed her up...so far so good. She also said he told her he wasn't comfortable talking about his feelings to people. I told him his feelings are his and he doesnt need to feel ashamed, embarassed and so on about sharing them...also told him I know that's easier said than done. Then I asked him to quit thinking and just talk to me...just say whatever is on your mind. He starts crying, can't speak at all. The rest of the phone call did not go well, total chaos at home. I made the decision to leave work and go home to talk to him, and things didnt get any better from there.

Here's my progress, she's shitty when I get home, get a whole load of b.s.....I stayed on point and calm, looked her in the eyes and told her I wanted to talk to our son, and left it at that. My body language and tone was a confident "this is why i'm here, it's not up for discussion." Managed to STFU as I kept getting unloaded on, even after hearing "it's between me and him, it has nothing to do with you." (a huge trigger for me, more on that in a sec.) I talked to my son, tucked him into bed, and I left the house. Not in a "i'm butthurt way" either, just left. The last time she made a comment like that I handled it very well and told her it was a line I dont want crossed anymore (previous to this i excused it as "stressed wife venting"....i allowed her to cross the boundry before, so i knew i couldnt get shitty with her that time.). So I stuck to my word and withdrew my presence, whatever that may be worth to her. But it's the only tool in my belt atm, so I used it. When she called and asked why I left, I told her I didnt want to be around her if that's how she was going to act. (I know, I know...subvert, not overt. but i'm not quite there yet) I also told her me being at work while she's home with them at night doesn't give her the right to tell me it's none of my business, he is still my son and the things he is going through will always be my business. I also stayed present, but unengaged when she was bitching....a HUGE step for me and my temper.

Things I need to work on: while I didnt go into a see-red shit fit, or yell at all for that matter, I am still angry. I let what she said bother me. I may not be as mad as I would usually get...nowhere close to that...but it got to me nonetheless. I also reiterated why I left when she called, tone started "i mean business" but ended the sentence yelling.

I'm getting several texts and calls now, not responding yet as it's all "you came home like i beat the boys or something" "you made me feel like i'm a bad parent" bullshit. I'm going to sit here for as long as i need, recenter my chi, go home when i'm ready and hate fuck the living daylights out of her (obviously i'll stop if there's a hard no...not tryin to rape my wife)

If you see any other areas i need to work on, feel free to verbally assault me about it...you fuckin savages lol