• The Goal: I want the house cleaner/maintained, and that's both yours and my job

  • Handling: Not great. Average take off, Ordinary flight, Rough Approach, Landed well enough.

I’m posting this to clarify my thoughts, some of it I got right, parts I fucked up. This is to organise my thinking so the next time I handle it better.

The even happened a few days ago, and I want to report it whilst it's fresh in my mind. We had a baby 8 weeks ago, so for the most part everything is still working itself out, sleep schedules, feeding and the housework. However we have arguably the easiest baby ever, she could be easier if she fed herself.

It's increasingly become a recent pattern particularly these last two weeks, "I'm sorry about the mess, I had to rush out", or "Hey the place is messy, I'll do it when I get home, just letting you know, if you get home before me". And there's no need for the mess, it's all 10-15 simply jobs. Put the next load on, throw the other in the dryer, unpack or turn on dishwasher, simple shit.

And the reasons for being out and about, shopping with mum and sister, helping currently divorcing sister, with whatever fart size "catastrophe" has struck for today, or helping babysit said sisters kids. The reasons are not important, just clarifying my thoughts.

And I understand this can be a challenging time, new baby and I am happy to help and do extra, but I'm not shouldering the load, so another household can have their needs and wants met. I came home from work this week, and sure enough the baby tornado had struck with all manner of baby and adult related stuff/chores in various states of started and finished.

In the kitchen cleaning up my work kit, RE-packing lunch, making my cold drip coffee, and going through getting everything sorted for the following day as I get up super early for the gym 0300, as I start work at 0600. Had a terrible day so I'm trying to be conscious and not transfer that energy, or allow her to go that route. First "She" is on the couch fingering the phone.

"What's happening in here, and are you coming back? Did the baby get really unsettled? What are you doing?" "Why's that? No the baby is fine, making the calendar online" "Because the place is a mess frankly" "Leave it then I'm coming back to it" I leave to go for my nightly run, and as I catch a mumble about coffee as I leave. And she started cleaning the kitchen.

A few hours later after having dinner, she engages about what I said about the mess. "Better get this mess, I don't think you understand how much time I don't have during the day" Fog* "You're right I don't always understand how much time you get a day" "Sometimes I don't get to the mess, or get a chance to do everything. Was that why you were in such a bad mood?" "Fair enough, I can't stand coming home to a mess though. No the mood was work which was why I left it alone early" "Well I just don't have time to get to it all"

Here's where so fucked up on two points. First mistake: "You spent all day at the plaza" I get a glare and silence. Although I am correct this is WISNIFG, asking her to justify, or have a good enough reason for shit, this was unnecessary, and shitty. I should have held the point, you're an adult and you need to prioritise your time and priorities better.

I get a glare and she goes to say something, stops then says: "Is that why you ignored the coffee you spilt all over the floor" There's three large droplets on the floor. Second mistake: I had realised the above error and was still in my head, and I went for a shitty Agree and Amplify which flopped hard. "NopeI just mustn't have seen it through all your mess".

What I should've done, is call out the fact it would've taken more effort to clean around it, and leave it there, than to either clean it, or tell me early than to sit on it like a silver bullet. Another glare, and she storms off.

I just realised this while writing, third and final fuck up. I call her to turn around and say: "I'm not trying to pick a fight over this, why are you?" "I'm not, that's why I'm leaving the conversation".

I take the dogs for a walk, roughly half an hour, and come home to a spotless house. Over the top stuff, all surfaces wiped, bleaching the toilets. Was it smooth, fuck no. Did I get the outcome I wanted, yes. Was I walking on eggshells for days, nope. Next morning seeking me out for hugs, the following night seesawing, being testy, but then oddly affectionate, in the same conversation.

Stats and Lift's currently: - Bench 80kgs, had to reset from 100kgs - Deadlift 120kgs - OHP 45kgs, had to reset from 55kgs - Squat 45kgs, fused ankle, this for me personally is great progress - Program GZCLP 12 months, post "fuckarounditis" - Height 184cm Weight 88kgs BF% 18 Navy method - Sidebar read once through, some stuff of it twice. - Married 3, Together 6, first kid