Career beta looking for tips on maintaining frame, without anger, during early transformation

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-08-08T22:21:29+00:00

Why are you at a huge risk for falling back? 19 months in? Wtf.

Once you see the matrix you can’t unsee it. What’s your fucking problem?

Have you read mmslp yet? It’s time.

Free up some time to develop:

Go on more business trips, wake up earlier to study, journal, or work out. Turn your car into a red pill university- listen to YouTube videos. Go day gaming on your lunch time at work- where women hang out (not dudes) - colleges, coffee shops, shopping mails, etc.

Is she fucking you?

Did you go through the anger phase yet? Mine took me months to get through - take it out in the iron temple- but once i was on the other side.. there was NO TURNING BACK. I was blind but now I see moment. I knew what I had to do.

Sounds like you never experienced this yet.

BostonBrakeJob · 2019-08-09T01:39:04+00:00

That's a nice checklist you got there. Next step is to put it all out on paper. Then take that paper and fold it up nice 'n neat like. Then go ahead and shove it up your ass.

Stop setting expectations for your wife, and start setting them for yourself instead.

tap0988534 · 2019-08-08T22:15:16+00:00

Anger is fine as long as you're fucking angry with yourself. Every time you've rolled over, you rolled over on yourself. You've created the entire situation. Women are responsive beings.

The way your wife treats you is not a reflection of her, its a reflection of you.

The first 6-8 months of MRP involves 3 things:

STFU
5-days/week of heavy barbell lifting
Sidebar

Your MRP journey will likely take at least 24 months. Be angry all you want, pour it into your lifts, just STFU and don't lose your cool in front of people. Nobody likes a tantrum.

johneyapocalypse · 2019-08-08T22:38:39+00:00

Maintain progress - which is pretty fucking slow-going for you, retard - and avoid anger by:

Resetting each day.
Getting your adrenaline flowing - most helpful of all - even moreso than lifting.
Lifting hard, and then lifting harder, and then lifting even harder than that.
Swimming, preferably in the ocean, at night, while listening to intense music on your kick-ass underwater ipod and headphones - not the dumbass jaw-conduction headphones, either.
Practicing cognitive behavioral therapy. Often. I'm getting angry? No. I choose not to get angry. I will stay strong and positive. It actually works.
Reminding yourself that you're in this mess of faggotry because of your behavior and/or fat-ass, not hers.
Meditating.
Smoking pot.
Having lots of sex.
Lifting some more.
Getting your adrenaline flowing, again.
Resetting. Reminder. Resetting.
Getting your heart rate pumping when you'd naturally be inclined to read some more. Don't read too goddamn much.

ReddJive · 2019-08-09T14:36:54+00:00

Just fucking stop. Stop. Stop thinking about what an Alpha does and is and just fucking be one.

You feel like you need a month away? Feel?

Look. Your Frame develops. Know what you want. Know what you are doing and just fucking do it.

I know a great majority of you budding alphas want nothing more than for the world to stop for just a moment. For her to shut up. The kids to calm the fuck down. Everything to just fucking quit. Go off and live in the mountains, maybe grill some steaks and whatever else guys do. Really? You need a circle jerk to figure your shit out? Guys don’t give a shit about your emotions any more than women do. But if you need to get away do it, just don’t hamster it as anything more than a vacation.

Getting your frame doesn’t work that way. Even if you find your Frame at some long lost mountain monastery what will you do when shit hits the fan. Your kids die in a car crash? House burns down? You lose your job AND your wife is diagnosed with cancer? What then? Where is your Frame? Your Alpha leadership then? You weren’t fire tested. You didn’t go through the shit to learn that the world doesn’t work that way. Men learn by doing.

Success builds Experience

Experience builds Confidence

Confidence builds Frame.

There are no breaks. The world no longer looks that way. It’s a paradox and there is no use in making sense of it. Accept it. Live in it and learn.

In the end you are either a warrior or victim.

Nothing is owed to you but death.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-08-08T22:01:54+00:00

You need a roll of this for your mouth

Keeping your pie hole shut is the hardest part.

Dont talk, walk

IncitingDramah · 2019-08-09T00:27:48+00:00

Anger phase is tough. Mine was especially difficult for me because I struggled with feeling used. My frame eventually collapsed, death by a 1000 concessions.

THE ONLY THING that helped me, was an arrangement of my thoughts into a gross obsession of self improvement. I focused on dread game, hard. Luckily, I discovered The mystery method in my late teens thanks to the TV show), so my game was better than most just rusty at this point.

I also read a LOT of stoic books. I cant stress this enough man. Mastery of emotions changes everything. I still slip time to time, but the difference is night and day.

Also, like everyone else has said, keep your mouth shut.

This...

I've had productive conversations with my wife, setting new expectations and boundaries, that she agreed to, and has followed up on.

Is much less effective than action. Women's words mean absolutely nothing, if you dont have action to back up your boundaries than nothing at all will change.

Anything you can't say no to is your master, and you its slave.

austindcc · 2019-08-09T13:29:57+00:00

I can see my anger is rooted in fear of falling back into beta nice-guy mindset, and back into my wife's frame.

So my anger has gone through the following phases:

Pissed off at myself for letting things get so bad / being a faggot
Pissed off at my wife/mom/society for selling me a lie
Angry that I saw the matrix and can't ever go back to the way to ignorance
Pissed off at my wife for not fulfilling my covert contracts
Pissed off at my wife because I didn't want fall back in her frame
Pissed off at my wife because she wasn't falling into my frame (this is really just a deeper version of #4) <- Currently here... 9+ months into finding this place

So what can you do?

Stay Healthy and Keep Lifting

This is a big one. Lifting is required for a proper mental state. Seriously... if I ever (rarely) miss a day of lifting it really fucks with my head. Get enough sleep, watch what you eat, and lift.

Find Someone to Vent to

Find anyone who you can vent shit to when you're pissed. If you don't have someone in real life (try to find one), even find another random guy on MRP. Sometimes the anger does get too much and you just need to puke.

Post in OYS - Weekly

Nothing more here - this is a great outlet and helps you objectively analyze the past 7 days. Keep notes throughout the week and then use this time to reflect on what you can do differently

Start Measuring/Celebrating Successes Based on You

Not your wife. Not other people. This is a huge one that I know I struggle with, but you need to internally be happy with the progress YOU are making in yourself.

Don't Expect Instant Results

Another big one for me. You have a decade? Pfft - that's child play faggotry. I have 17 years.. Just remember this is going to take years until you are fully formed to the man you need to be. You need to accept that.

When You Fail - Keep Going

You'll get sick, get hurt, hang around the house too much, fail a shit test, hell break down like a little baby (hopefully not this one, but maybe). Recognize it, don't beat yourself up and move on.

CarelessBowler5 · 2019-08-09T15:02:17+00:00

Here are some things I've found helpful for frame:

When she throws a curveball your way, literally ask yourself, "Would doing what she wants cause me to lose frame?" If the answer is a "yes" or "maybe," then don't do that thing. (Credit to Richard Cooper for this tip.)
Remember your goals are your undercover project. Every time you reveal to her your strategy in the chess game you are putting her in charge of the outcomes.
Eye contact. Make it a practice in every conversation with your wife (or most anyone really) to keep eye contact until *they* break it. Sometimes a conversation with my wife will start a bit harpy or naggy, but then after consistent eye contact she settles down and follows my lead again.
Whenever you feel anger beginning to rise, laugh. Seriously. Don't get angy and lose your shit. Even a forced smile will help set your mind back at ease and in control at least of your own emotions. This might frustrate her ("You're not taking this seriously!" "Do you even care about me and our problems!?") but give it five or ten minutes to see if she falls back into your frame. If not, go work on a project/hobby and try again tomorrow.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: You get to try again tomorrow. I've had a day here or there where I really, really lose frame. I feel stupid, powerless, and emasculated. The next morning, I get up hit the gym/run, and get a fresh start. Every time, my wife falls back into my frame as if the day before never happened, submitting to my leadership for her and our household.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-08-09T15:20:46+00:00

Sorry, u/austindcc, I am kind of late to the game, but here are some thoughts after seeing your post history and some of the other comments.

ADHD is a label that you should try not to get to wrapped up in your identity. Is it a thing and do you actually have it? Maybe, maybe not, that's not the point. We don't care, she don't care, no one cares because you aren't special. As a wise person said "We are all eating a shit sandwich out here" so don't make this your flag to fly when you want to feel like a victim. Everyone has work to do and when you get right down to it, it's doubtful you would want to change your life for the mess anyone else has created. Instead, find ways to rewire your thinking (that's what we are ALL here for), and identify with your strengths and challenges that you've overcome. Sidenote: as a father of 5 kids ranging from 21 to 4 years old, cut out all video games, internet browsing, youtube watching, TV, and porn for a couple weeks.
You aren't 19 months into MRP, you are 4 days in. I started to read a shit ton of psychology books and had even read some of the sidebar books on my own, but it wasn't until you connect all the dots that your journey actually began. Honestly, the day you post your first OYS or first Field Report is day 1, lurkers don't count. There's been people that have lurked in this sub for months, maybe years and when then finally post for the first time desperate because the wife is cheating with Chad at work, it's clear they don't know anything. Be humble, be honest, were all anon anyway.
Embrace GAME. Don't kid yourself, social interactions are exactly that, a game. There are attempts, rules, moves, plays, tactics, fear, intimidation, effort, success, and failure. This applies to making friends, work, church, family members, and neighbors. That's not what I mean about EMBRACING GAME. I am talking about real game with ladies. Don't waffle and mess around all half ass about it, becoming proficient at flirting with your wife and other women, especially attractive ones is a key step. No woman wants a man that no other woman wants, even if that's what she says. Only two women say that, one is trying to not hurt your feelz, the other is low key saying she doesn't want to stop eating chocolate and hit the treadmill either. It's not until she knows deep in her heart that you can replace her with a younger, prettier, more fit model that she will start to truly act right.
You are worried about "falling back". It's a recurring theme on this post. So what? We all do, that's why we post in the OYS WEEKLY. This is a 7 day sprint where you reset daily to yourself and bear your failures and successes before everyone else to get better. Paul tells us to "die to ourselves daily". "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another", as it says in Proverbs. Apply this wisdom to your MRP journey.
You have a long way to go, so be patient and keep going. The general math says that you have to BE the new alpha version for 1 month for each of those years. Oh, and if you're a fallen alpha, meaning you were for the first 3 years, then turned beta for 6, those first years are null and void and the new alpha months don't really start to count until you have figured out how to life heavy stuff and pass a shit test. Oh yeah, you should read up on the 12 Levels of Dread immediatley.
Other thoughts, you mentioned " I feel like I need a month away from my wife". In combination with the ADHD sidenote, perhaps you should consider taking a week or two to go camping. There is a lot of research surrounding the positive effects of getting in the woods alone with no electronics to reset the brain's rhythm, pull people out of depression, restore a sense of both an awe and a connection to the world, improve sleep, burn some fat, and depending on how you either prepare ahead vs rely on your survival skills can be a huge boost to the perception you have about yourself.
Drugs.... been there, done that.Prescriptions for ADHD and depression. To be honest, when it comes to depression and suicidal thoughts, no one can help you if you are dead, but SSRI drugs will mess with your dick. Impotence, decreases sex drive, lack of orgasm, difficulty maintaining an erection are all common side effects, not rare. ADHD meds work pretty good in the short term, but lose effectiveness over time which will lead to increased doses or making yoru symptoms worse when you come off of them for an unknown length of time.Pot will chill you out, is helpful in managing short term stress, can increase your level of openness. However, the problems that stressed you out will be there in a couple hours when it wears off and you will have just wasted time. That can just lead to more stress or a dependence on using thc to manage stress. If you try it, I recommend doing it very rarely if at all.Mushrooms or LSD can be life changing and change peoples entire perception in life. You are actually stuck "in your head" and psychedelics can either get you outside of your head and see things anew or you can get "caught" in a negative feedback loop of bad thoughts. It's a crap shoot and not worth the risk. I've had both things happen, the whole "everything is connected" experience that helped me get over my shyness as a young man and really stopped caring what other people thought of me. I've also had the whole "government conspiracy paranoia" and the good old "everyone is a demon and satan is out to get me" nightmare that ended in the psych ward and then going to jail. Haven't done salvia or DTM, but from friends tell me they are very powerful and unpredictable.I guess I am saying, they all can have a short term benefit but all come with a catch and are not a "cure", just a temporary band-aid. Lifting, very heavy weights with full body type exercises, on the other hand is a great stress reliever and leave you healthier, stronger, and able to endure more stress in future situations. For some reason, squats and deadlifts specifically, seem have the side effect of boosting your bodies natural testosterone levels, which does actually make you genuinely feel good. Arnold said in an interview once about lifting "it feels like I am cumming all the time". Speaking of T, getting your testosterone checked should be really high on your list of things to do as well. If diet and exercise don't get your numbers up, TRT could be the best thing for you.

Title	Career beta looking for tips on maintaining frame, without anger, during early transformation
Author	austindcc
Upvotes	11
Comments	47
Date	August 8, 2019 9:56 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cnspz0/career_beta_looking_for_tips_on_maintaining_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/career-beta-looking-for-tips-on-maintaining-frame.247766 https://theredarchive.com/post/247766

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