Recently swallowed the pill, but I've been working on my shit for ~19 months. (See my OYS post for details.)
I now have at least the beginnings of my own frame, and I've had productive conversations with my wife, setting new expectations and boundaries, that she agreed to, and has followed up on.
But then I hit the anger phase.
I found this post about moving past the anger phase. I'm working on all 7 suggestions, which I have put into practice and see the wisdom in, but I can tell it will take time.
I can see my anger is rooted in fear of falling back into beta nice-guy mindset, and back into my wife's frame. As a decade-long career beta the fear is huge. It's happened before, and it took me 6 months to recover and extricate myself from the "nice-guy/self-sacrifice = meaning" mindfuck.
Here's what I'm doing about it:
- Bought No More Mr. Nice Guy today
- I have the beginnings of a Morpheus relationship going
- Hitting the gym at every opportunity (min. 3x weekly)
- Hiking every weekend and pushing into hobbies
- Practicing social interactions (I hesitate to call it "game" this early in my journey) wherever possible, especially with women
- Buying shit I need for my hobbies
- Reading TRP resources/sidebar at work
All this looks and feels great, and I know I'm moving the needle. But I'm at a huge risk of falling back.
I feel like I need a month away from my wife, to soak up TRP, and build my own goals, frame, and foundation. Logistically that would be very hard to pull off.
What else can I do to maintain frame and avoid backsliding, while moving beyond anger?