Divorce or Separation

UEMcGill · 2020-09-17T13:23:25+00:00

Looking back I was fairly alpha when we met (MGTOW monk)

These are not compatible. Ask yourself why you think that.

Should I activate the nuke? Taking the kids to her mom.signals she is truly done or is trying to have her cake and eat it too.

What do you want? That's really the question.

In the end I get the suspicion that you are not a Captain, and the crew is wandering around a lot without leadership. Seems like reading between the lines there's a lot of bluster on your part and no boundaries.

Most of the time she was bluffing

We have had some crazy arguments since the move

Redpill, alpha men don't argue with their women. Alpha men lead with actions. What have you done to lead your family?

HornsOfApathy · 2020-09-17T13:24:15+00:00

#1 - talk to your lawyer. Then get a second lawyer's opinion. We aren't here for legal advice.

#2 - Sounds like a nuclear shit test to me, but I'm not you. If this happened to me, I'd be radio silent with the only question asked "When will you be bringing the children back?" Either she comes back, or she doesn't. Lawyer solves the "she doesn't", you solve the "she does". Serious boundary crossing here bro.

I say it's a test because:

I told her I would consider that an act of separation or divorce if she ever did that.

If you've said that before to her, she's likely using it to test you and leverage your kids against you to put you back in your box. Pretty shitty, but not abnormal. Up to you how you want to deal with that boundary crossed.

#3 - This woman sounds like an entitled bitch who pursues masculine course of direction in her life (PhD, strong independent woman) which is unattractive as fuck to a masculine man. Either you haven't stepped up in this area and she feels the need to, and this is all your fault, or she's just not going to grab the 1000ft rope.

#4 - On being a black male: Doesn't matter. Yes, there is a stigma to the black absent father and single moms, but most of the time it's Dads who aren't willing to fight for their children because of whatever reason they have. If you want your kids, you're likely guaranteed 50/50 in almost any state nowadays and has become the norm. That has nothing to do with being black.

InChargeMan · 2020-09-17T13:22:10+00:00

I don't have the energy or time to tell you everything you need to do to right this ship, but I will tell you that you are in the right place. Large ships don't turn on a dime, so understand that this is going to be a process, starting with fixing yourself. Pay attention, work hard, and don't let your ego get in the way of success.

You were never alpha, you were bluepill in training. Look at a seed sprouting, could be a mighty oak, could be some scraggly bush. Don't look at a sprouting oak seed and say "I looked like that too" and say you used to be an oak. You were not.

And for god's sake don't go Rambo.

UnPussified · 2020-09-17T13:34:14+00:00

What’s YOUR end game & what un-cross-able boundaries are you going to stand for?

Women will push past every barrier to test you, so one question is whether you’re setting self up for failure by telling or alluding which buttons to push & lines to cross ?

The more you GAF, the more she’s going to deliberately drive a Mack truck up your arse.

Choose your battles wisely & which hills you’re willing to die on, and FFS keep it to yourself.

part_wolf · 2020-09-17T14:01:45+00:00

If you need to know more about the situation or history and I will be glad to share.

Ugh, no.

No one's going to give you permission to destroy your marriage. Not even HornsofApathy. Make a fucking decision and own it.

business---travel · 2020-09-17T18:44:36+00:00

Looking back I was fairly alpha when we met (MGTOW monk) but let my guard down to try and give marriage a shot.

MGTOW, Monk Mode, Incel, MRA, and nofap, all of this shit is not "alpha" in any way, shape, or form...

I read Horns post of nuking the nuclear family.

Did you internalize his post...?

Can this be salvaged through separation?

You need to find a lawyer and be prepared to serve your wife. Seriously, do the work. Get the paperwork in order. If you don't do this you are either stupid, naive, or you are willing to let your wife serve you first when the time comes. Call three lawyers a day until you find one that will work for you. Internalize what I just wrote there: "will work for YOU!". Get things in order QUIETLY and listen to your lawyer's advice. Oh, be careful with that "manosphere" horseshit that you are listening too online since most of it is complete garbage - lots of whining. Remember, if you don't serve your wife the divorce papers first, you will lose the (slim) advantage going into court if she serves you first. Stop talking about this and start acting on it.

redarcher99 · 2020-09-18T06:50:23+00:00

Before you pursue either of these options, how is your lifting going? What are your stats? How are you going at being attractive? Why would it be more attractive and fun for her to go to be with her mom than be with you? Why are you arguing instead of shutting up, staying in your own frame and leading? If you are leading, attractive and on-point then I think you'll find different behaviour. Sounds like you want to nuke it without trying.

BostonBrakeJob · 2020-09-17T16:55:05+00:00

If you put in the work on yourself to find what is and isn't acceptable, how to address it effectively, and what to do when you might as well have had that conversation with a brick wall....then you wouldn't be asking.

You got bigger fish to fry.

2wo2wo3hree · 2020-09-17T23:04:40+00:00

Sounds like a good time to start posting OYS weekly.

C U Next Tuesday!

Tightninja · 2020-09-18T14:25:03+00:00

Thank you everyone for your input. I am keeping Rambo in check. As far as lifting goes I have lost about 15 lbs since we moved to NY....without the gym. Mainly because I have been working like a dog. I have another 50 lbs to go, not for my wife or an woman but for my own personal health.

After thinking over last night I do think it is an nuclear shit test. She is coming back on Sunday so it is not a permanent thing...yet. However the behavior is unacceptable. I am considering Cordell and Cordell, not sure if anyone has heard of them but they seem to be a law firm dedicated to helping men in family courts. Not trying to solicit here but I am curious if anyone has worked with this firm.

https://cordellcordell.com/resources/

I think my next move is to go stealth mode, get paperwork together, gather evidence and possibly file within a month. I do realize I have a slight advantage here that I do not want to waste. However I don't want to act too fast and irrationally.

RicoDunne · 2020-09-19T23:17:27+00:00

You need an exit plan for divorce that's more than I'll just pay CS and alimony. Keeping the kids in your life with shared parenting is a goal. Saving your assets is important. How can you do that is what you'll find by researching older posts here.
to

screechhater · 2020-09-20T19:39:32+00:00

Quit mind fucking your situation and her actions

Women draw from masculine men and test the fuck out of weak

Your past is nothing about today, and the excuse factory of what "once was" is that, all excuses

I have always told her if you don't like it...thereis the door. but this week she pulled my son out of private school and along with my daughter to go visit her mom...

And, you actually believe she wants to be a single parent living with her mom ? Must be better that what you are giving her as the alternative

STFU Lift and sidebar until Unfucked

bob--man · 2020-09-21T04:44:15+00:00

I'm late to this post, but if you haven't already been vetting and interviewing lawyers, you have done fuck all. There is a lot of good advice in this thread; therefore, there isn't a lot to add. That being said, you should be smashing the weights and reading through the books on the sidebar as you get prepared to serve your wife the divorce papers. By the way, don't bring up the topic around getting a divorce until you have the papers in your hand ready to serve.

vabab8 · 2020-09-24T21:28:03+00:00

Any updates?

Title	Divorce or Separation
Author	Tightninja
Upvotes	4
Comments	26
Date	September 16, 2020 9:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/iu52yv/divorce_or_separation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/divorce-or-separation.214378 https://theredarchive.com/post/214378

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