Do you apologize

SeamusAwl · 2018-12-28T16:38:59+00:00

Do I apologize for the lying or just continue to wait her out? I know I was wrong but don't feel sorry. I know thy lying was wrong and not helpful to the situation but I want to avoid losing more face or doing anything further to make her feel in control.

Here is how you apologize...

"We need to talk. I was wrong to lie about buying XXX. As a result I ruined our Christmas and that is not something I wanted to do."

This signifies that you are a man, you understand you fucked up, and are owning up to it. And it is significantly better in her eyes than...

"I am sorry I am a liar and bought xxx. Can you please forgive me?"

red-sfpplus · 2018-12-28T16:32:31+00:00

Do I apologize?

Only if I get it in her hair.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-12-28T16:28:05+00:00

“I ~~should~~ will ~~be able to~~ spend my money on myself If I want..”

“but the cover-up and lying made the situation worse.”

Stop being a bitch.

What’s the root problem here? Don’t want to make mommy mad? Being a nice guy ^tm all the time? Mommy has you on an allowance?

Are you fucking her?

This should be your wake up call faggot. Do you want to continue living as a bitch your entire life?

cholomite · 2018-12-28T19:23:18+00:00

How has no one posted the Arnold stogie interview yet?

https://youtu.be/DklAU4GNpxA

mrpthrowa · 2018-12-28T20:22:19+00:00

How do grown ass man end up in a situation where spending their own money is a sin?

jimmy_thetulip · 2018-12-28T16:31:26+00:00

Lying about it was stupid, typical nice guy behaviour. You need to work on frame as clearly you have none.

Own you shit. Tell her you bought something that you wanted and that you decided not to tell her the price because she’ll get upset it about it. The stfu and move move to something more productive.

RandomlyChosenTitle · 2018-12-28T17:10:29+00:00

I don't want to give in and hand her all the power back

Ask yourself: if you had any power in the relationship to hand back, would you be on this sub asking this question?

You're completely in her frame and it's spelled out all over this post...

I spent money on something for myself and she found the receipt.

I should be able to spend my money on myself If I want, but the cover-up and lying made the situation worse.

Do I apologize for the lying or just continue to wait her out?

The common theme across all of this is that you're letting her feels dictate your life. Why? Cigars didn't ruin Christmas, and her bitching about cigars didn't ruin Christmas. Your refusal to own your shit (i.e "I wanted some cigars so I bought some") ruined Christmas. Keep working through the sidebar. WISNIFG is going to be good for you. It's the most tedious book you'll ever read but it will show you exactly how to handle these situations.

Terminal-Psychosis · 2018-12-28T17:15:11+00:00

Her making a huge fuss about it ruined X-Mass, not you.

I'd say next time just own up to buying whatever. Your money.

Don't apologize. Next time just be up front and make her deal with it.

Also, don't give in to her terror now. If she can't behave like an adult, she needs a time out.

jdogworld · 2018-12-29T02:49:05+00:00

This is a perfect time to STFU. Move on. Don’t mention it. Light up a cigar on the back patio while she’s home and chill like you don’t have a care in the world.

nantucketghost · 2018-12-28T18:09:27+00:00

I love cigars. But you need to own up to it.

The short answer is yes. Apologize for the deceit. Tell her you were just trying to avoid a conflict (such as what you're having) and it not only was bad judgement but backfired.

Tell her you won't lie again (and seriously don't, there is absolutely no need to ever do that), but that you ARE going to spend some money on your hobbies you enjoy.

So yes, apologize (it says that you understand you were wrong). That's not giving her power, just stating a fact. Then say that you will be buying things for yourself once in a while - you still have the power and that you don't want to hear any complaining from her.

You only got there because you didn't want to hear her complain. Now, she gets to hear about what you're buying and you won't be hearing her complain.

Wait? Since Sunday? Damn brother. Then tell her you consider this matter over. Her being silent and you letting her is her exerting her power over you. No, she does not get her way on this one.

If she doesn't consider it over, tell her there is the door and go open it.

sars445 · 2018-12-28T18:33:50+00:00

When you actually fuck up, you apologize.

red88lobster · 2018-12-28T21:08:01+00:00

After you have read the sidebar maybe you should read Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life. Lying is bad num nuts.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-12-28T18:43:39+00:00

You’ll get different answers. Generally RP is against apologizing, however I believe you should own your mistakes and if you hurt someone you should apologize. A red pilled man has no reason to lie. You own your actions and it’s up to your wife to accept them. Lying shows you’re weak and need her approval. The damage is done, and you need to own it, own the lie, and show you’re better then that. “Wife, I lied and you deserve better then that. Sorry. It won’t happen again”. Then drop it. Don’t ask for forgiveness, give her time to get over it and don’t do it again.

Madpuffin · 2018-12-28T19:19:00+00:00

meant tell her i am done then stfu.

either way stfu

Madpuffin · 2018-12-28T19:36:53+00:00

yeah that interview is priceless. Also points out my exact problem.

Madpuffin · 2018-12-28T22:38:49+00:00

obviously

z2a1-9 · 2018-12-29T05:10:37+00:00

Don't apologize, OYS and move on!!! Man up buttercup!

Title	Do you apologize
Author	Madpuffin
Upvotes	5
Comments	56
Date	December 28, 2018 4:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/aabo28/do_you_apologize/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/do-you-apologize.203714 https://theredarchive.com/post/203714

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