What’s a well framed MRP to do with the aftermath from a drunken captain session?

If you understand that question, jump to “The Question”, if you don’t understand…buckle up and read.

My frame is like Captain America’s shield. I use to deflect all the shit and stressors that the world throws at me. Wife starts yapping about spending money, up comes the shield, deflected. My son starts acting a damn fool, a gentle rap on his head with the shield straightens him out. Woman approach me and I let my glorious shield hang. Sure I am a warrior, you may enter into my arena, you may admire your reflection in it, girl. You can throw shit at it and it doesn’t stick. Me and my shield go way back.

The weight of the shield on my back reminds me that I am here to protect those I hold dear. To be true to myself. To be aware of the power I wield. My shield is my frame, though shalt not fuck around with it. It will fuck around with you.

Now…it didn’t start this way, 20 years ago my shield was a sad thing. Made of wood, cobbled together it could hardly stop a rotten tomato. But I cleaned it up. I upgraded it. I learned all it’s imperfections and solidified it. I trimmed the edges to be razor sharp. I made sure my armor was good as I could get it.

In that time, there was a lot of drunken captain going on. A lot of useless flailing. I hit things I didn’t mean to. I left my sheidl where I should not have. I forgot it. I thought it was a hammer. I used it poorly. Mistakes were made. I take responsibility for that, and it’s past history. It’s the bruises and scrapes that all warriors go through as they become “MORE”.

On to present day... like all good superpowers the frame has a weakness. To put it simply, mentally you forget that you have it. Forgetting is not intentional. It just is. You see the shit flying and you forget to pull out frame out and block it. Shit happens.

I’ve gotten a lot better over the years and I know my frame’s weakness well, but….well I am human and I forget. At this point in my life this happens so in-frequently that it’s not usually an issue. But every now and then…well...u know.

Every now and then, drunken captain shows up…it always starts with “normal” me forgetting the shield … then drunk captain shows up and goes back and gets the shield ...and the bastard puts it on wrong…AND THEN he forgets that he has it on.

And now the dogs of chaos are lose.

See because my shield is so deadly, so heavy, so reality altering ...when it gets to waving around, it wrecks havoc like a bull in a china shop. Actually no, it’s worse than that…drunken captain repeatedly slings the shield through the whole damn shop, collapses walls, blows shit up and sets everything on fire. AND THEN drunken captain walks in to the shop and tries to love tap the owner to let them know everything is ok, but instead ends up knocking the poor soul out … leaving them in an emotional coma.

Yeah…THAT’s what kinda happens when my drunken captain gets lose.

So I do my damn-est to NOT let drunken captain show up…but it all starts when I forget the shield. And I am human and I fail. (That’s part of my frame)

Ok, now that you got all that …

The Question

Drunken captain has shown up. Chaos has ensued. I’ve final got my fucking frame back in the right position and I’m looking around at the aftermath.

How much responsibility do I have to explain my actions?

How much responsibility do I have to explain my thought process?

How to explain that I am not “sorry” but I do realize I have flaws?

That last one is especially hard to fit into my frame. Part of my frame is: There is no wrong…there is only doing better.

Given the opportunity to repeat X, can I do it better than I did before by my own standards? Or have I established the best way to deal with X and I should just keep it moving?

I don’t feel remorse … but I do feel ...well...like doing something..

But I’m looking at the burning shop, I’m looking at my comatose wife and I’m like…maybe I should go “out of frame” and say some things I don’t really feel…just to stop the bleeding and put the fire out.