Filed today.

creating_my_life · 2017-08-29T02:36:51+00:00

Decide what YOU want. Fight for it. Far too much "what she wants" in this post.

MisfitPL9 · 2017-08-29T02:38:08+00:00

Best of luck mate. I am going through same thing. I offered 60/40 property division in her favour, and we are still arguing about time with kids before it gets to court - currently 57/43 in her favour, and the lowest I will go is 60/40 split for kids - she wants to keep giving me less time but I am standing firm in this ( I had already come down from 50/50 trying to negotiate and she still not happy ) My advice to you is to not think about how much child support is going to cost you ( I pay 1200 ), or how much time with kids - you need to seriously think about best options for the kids, and how they can fit into your " new " lifestyle.
For me - giving up an extra day meant I was paying an additional fuck all in child support, but gave me much needed " Free time " for my activities and own my shit - so to me this was advantageous compared to me money I was giving up In the time spent fighting over who gets what, you are losing money to lawyers etc.... so think about the big picture. I know you want to have 50/50 with the kids - but what is the best option. Does you wife work?, can you take immediate time off if the kids are sick, holidays?, etc...... Also make sure that when/if you get into the nitty gritty, that it is shared parental responsibilities about schooling, extracurricular activities etc. and that your ex cant move outside a certain distance, and new schools will not be out of your travels on way to work, you get preference to have kids ( instead of in-laws ) if the kids are sick, or your ex goes on holidays. Weigh up all options, but dont give up too much

JudgeDoom69 · 2017-08-29T06:06:38+00:00

Congrats on filing. You'll be happier in the long run.

Our custody is 50/50 Ex has them Monday Tuesday I have them Wednesday Thursday We alternate Friday-Sunday

This give us equal time, equal weekends, and maximin stability for the kids.

BobbyPeru · 2017-08-29T06:44:32+00:00

It's a negotiation. Don't get that confused. Did you already ask for 50/50? If not, ask for 70/30 and let her negotiate to 50/50.

anythinginc · 2017-08-29T13:53:11+00:00

It is calculated on overnights per year right? So they are figuring (2 nights extra per month X 12 = 24) which takes you from an unpenalized CS payment to a penalized payment ($800).

Give her more of what she wants during the school year within reason, in return she gives you enough summer and holiday overnights to compensate the calculator. That is how many people seem to do it.

FireTempered · 2017-09-05T03:29:49+00:00

I remember you and your posts about the passing of your father. Now that you have made the decision to move on with your life, I again wish you the best.

Others here can give you much more current information on your divorce questions. One thing that I will mention in passing. At any time in the process of your divorce, you can stop if that is what you want to do and it serves your best interests. Just an option to keep in mind.

Romowens · 2017-09-08T21:39:18+00:00

Update:

So since this all started, I stood firm on 50/50 custody with no support. I wanted the house if she didn't (it's just an investment in my eyes right now with no emotional ties). And I wanted everything split 50/50. We both walk away with 1/2 of everything as it should be.

We talked for a few hours late Monday night and her latest proposal is:

50/50 time with kids. She still wants every Sunday night when they have school. I've told her I will agree to this but will not put it in a parenting plan.

She wants no child support. I've agreed.

I will provide insurance and provide 50% out of pocket expenses after she spends 1200 a year (insurance cost on my end) .

Child care will be split 50/50. I will pay for 1 child directly to the provider. She will pay for the other.

She wants no property except for a pot and pan set, a small tv, the 1 year old's crib and 1/2 the kids toys and clothes. That leaves me with about 70% of the possessions (leather sectional, recliner, bed, daughters bunk beds, etc). I told her that I will not pay her for 1/2 the item's values. I would rather sell the furniture and buy something I want. She agreed that if the courts ordered me to pay her for 1/2 the stuff, she would pay me back. (I'm not sure how much the courts get involved when both sides agree like this.)

I get my vehicle. She'll buy out her vehicle from me when she gets the equity money in the house.

She said she will not come after my 401k.

She stated that she wants to go off the assessed value of the house. At first I didn't agree. But after having a realtor come look at the house, he said that the assessed value was a little lower than the comps he looked at. Said I could probably go 20-25K higher. So with that said, if I agree to her assessed value, I will pay her around 23K in equity. I need to talk to a mortgage broker, but with the increase in value of my home since we purchased it and what we paid off, I'm pretty sure I can refinance with 25k cash out and with the increase in value still be under 80% loan value so I can drop my PMI payments.

With all that being said... I know there is a lot of "she agrees" and I can only take that for face value. But if she holds true to her word, as I feel she might (as long as I don't do petty shit to piss her off), I think this will go through as good as it can for me.

So my question on this is... do any of you see any holes in that situation? I think that is best case scenario for me.

Title	Filed today.
Author	Romowens
Upvotes	5
Comments	30
Date	August 29, 2017 1:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6wnwj4/filed_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/filed-today.205584 https://theredarchive.com/post/205584

Comments