Help me out MRP

Archwinger · 2016-04-20T13:23:31+00:00

My ltr recently broke up with me

Good. Go fuck other women.

I had fell into some very beta things as I fell hard for this one

Excellent that you recognized the problem. Don't do that shit again.

I'm still reeling a little from the breakup

It's okay to be human and have feelings. Even the alphaest alpha who ever alphaed an alpha doesn't like getting dumped.

Anyways, I still love her

Fuck ten other women, then come back and tell me that this one particular ex-girlfriend is unique or special.

but stop talking to her after the breakup.

Perfect. Work on you, go meet other girls, get on with your life. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your post, which is going to tell me how successful you were at doing all of this. Here goes.

After a little while of no contact she texts, emails, calls.

Yeah. Things didn't work out with the other guy she fucked while you were broken up. He pumped and dumped her. Good thing you'd already moved on to other women and other pursuits in your life, though, right?

I wait till I am ready and then call back.

Wait, what? Why? Forgetting how stupid this is in general, it's also just plain a complete waste of time that you could be spending developing yourself. Learn skills, make money, meet other girls, cure cancer, whatever the fuck you want to do, instead of tossing your precious time into a black hole.

We talk and are in the process of getting back together

Because after fucking ten other women, you realized that this one girl was special? Please tell me you've gone out, met other girls, fucked a few of them, done some other shit with your awesome life, and only bothered talking to your ex because after all of your other experiences with other girls and other things life has to offer, you decided you want her back.

I took my time to think if this is what I wanted and I do want to give her another chance.

No, fucker. No, you did not. Taking your time would be spending a few months working on yourself, pursing other things, fucking other women, and letting this bitch's calls go unanswered, then, if you're feeling really generous, giving her a spot on the rotation with six other girls you're fucking.

The problem now is that she keeps telling me I am being callous and that's not how she wants to be treated.

You failed shit-test #1 by even talking to her again, and shit test #2 by agreeing to take her back. Why would she think you're suddenly going to pass shit test #3? She knows if she keeps after you, you'll do whatever she says.

I think it's one part me being callous and one part me taking her off the pedestal simultaneously.

She's still on a pedestal. That's why you took her back. I think deep down inside, you know she's not actually unique or special. But deep down, you also know that you're a loser. The one thing that makes this girl unique is that unlike most other girls, this one will actually date you. She's your only chance. She's the only girl you've got. So you'll rationalize whatever you need to in order to stay with her, because otherwise, you'll be alone and never find anybody else, since you're such a loser.

Instead of wasting time with this bitch, you really ought to work on your real issue: hit the gym, excel at school or professionally, learn useful skills and interesting hobbies, become socially apt and confident, and actually become an awesome badass that women want to date and fuck. Become somebody that has options with lots of women instead of remaining the loser you are who's lucky to have one girl vaguely interested.

How do I deal with this.. What are my options?

Keep fucking your "girlfriend", but non-exclusively. Meet and fuck other women, too. Stay the course, keep working on you, and don't emotionally invest in your "girlfriend". She comes seventh or eighth in your life now, not first.

How much beta is necessary to have a functioning relationship?

Just enough to pass comfort tests, and no more.

How much feeling do I express to her?

Zero. She cares even less than I do, no matter what she says. Your job is to be fun, not emotional.

Do I tell her I know I am being callous and that my heart was shattered and I need time?

Sorry. I just lost my boner. I think it was something I read.

No, fuck no. Keep your damn mouth shut. Communicate less, not more.

RPTA3498 · 2016-04-20T10:51:34+00:00

I've met a lot of people. I've seen a lot if breakups. I have seen a grand total of one somewhat healthy relationship arising from getting back together after a breakup. I say somewhat healthy because the guy is completely whipped - he is seen as intellectually inferior and is a servant to his wife, but he seems happy being like that.

The issues that caused the breakup will re-emerge.

She doesn't want to get back together with you - she wants to get back together with an idealized fantasy version of you. That's not something you can sustain and be healthy.

You should be cautious with her, which will come across as callous. If she can't understand why you feel that way without you spelling it out for her, then she's egocentric and doesn't really give a shit about you.

Some guys are going to say that you should plate her, but I get the impression that you're not some evil dark triad mastermind who can handle that without feeling attached or feeling guilty. That's okay. The solution is simple: next her

Read the books in the marriedredpill sidebar. Lurk and read some of the top posts. All you're going to get out of the TRP main sub right now is the idea that all women are shitty like your ex. Wallowing in self-pity like that is not helpful. Take the focus off her and back onto yourself. Build your skills. Strengthen your body and mind. Put her in the past.

Edit:
Your addendum

My goal is to let her know she has to earn my affection back, but I think I am going about it the wrong way.

Is retarded. Yes, that it the wrong way. Next her. Read about the sunk cost fallacy.

Chump_No_More · 2016-04-20T16:03:33+00:00

Dude, she doesn't want you back because you're her Alpha High Score and needs a good fucking, she wants you back as an orbiter because of the good beta feelz and validation you gave her.

This has disaster written all over it. As others said, let Rollo's Iron Rule #7 be your guide.

And FFS, don't get into any LTRs until you get your scarcity mindset issues squared away. Spin no fewer than two plates.

jacktenofhearts · 2016-04-22T07:58:21+00:00

This is a chemical burn.

My ltr recently broke up with me. I had fell into some very beta things as I fell hard for this one.

It will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar.

I'm still reeling a little from the breakup.

Stay with the pain, don’t block this out.

Anyways, I still love her but stop talking to her after the breakup.

Look at your hand. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkeys shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing!

After a little while of no contact she texts, emails, calls. I wait till I am ready and then call back. We talk and are in the process of getting back together.

Stop. This is your pain, this is your burning hand. It’s right here!

I took my time to think if this is what I wanted and I do want to give her another chance.

No! Don’t deal with it like those dead people do. Come on!

The problem now is that she keeps telling me I am being callous and that's not how she wants to be treated. I think it's one part me being callous and one part me taking her off the pedestal simultaneously.

This is the greatest moment of your life, man! And you’re off somewhere missing it.

How do I deal with this.. What are my options?

How much beta is necessary to have a functioning relationship?

How much feeling do I express to her? (E.g. Do I tell her I know I am being callous and that my heart was shattered and I need time?)

Listen. You can run water over your hand and make it worse, or -- look at me! -- or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn.

My cup is empty. Help me fill it with your experiences.

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

My goal is to let her know she has to earn my affection back, but I think I am going about it the wrong way.

Congratulations. You’re one step closer to hitting the bottom.

2016-04-20T12:03:08+00:00

Sidebar. Start with manipulated man on TRP, end off with the professors book on Dread on the MRP sidebar.

Your whole perspective and outlook is fucked, it's going to take work and effort to unfuck it. As to your specific questions, cut ties, go cry in your room for a few days, then wash your face and go lift something heavy for a while. Reassess after some work

Griever114 · 2016-04-20T11:35:00+00:00

If the first thought in your mind is "how much beta is necessary for a relationshit (yes, i wrote that right)" then you are already dooming it.

Next her and spend the time working on yourself.

Read the sidebar, lift and dont bother with women until you become the best functioning man you can be so you are better prepared for the bulltshit that comes with it.

IASGame · 2016-04-20T11:56:42+00:00

You are going about it the wrong way.

Getting a specific woman is not an ideal goal, because it depends on her.

What is your goal? Think hard about this.

Also, pseudo-mandatory link to RM's rooting through garbage: https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/rooting-through-garbage/

spexer · 2016-04-20T14:35:31+00:00

Rule 3: look at what she does, not what she says.

Redneck001 · 2016-04-20T17:05:21+00:00

Girlfriend problem? Easy fix.

Get more girlfriends. Problem solved.

SOAADDICT · 2016-04-21T00:13:25+00:00

We talk and are in the process of getting back together.

Don't do that. End of story.

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-04-22T20:48:21+00:00

You have classic oneitis. You are trying to win the affection of one woman. This will not lead to long term success. It may win back the current girl for a little bit, right up until Chad comes along. Chad isn't beta. Chad does what he wants. He also takes care of himself and looks good.

You need to focus on you. Not for the goal of winning back this one girl, but for the goal of making yourself more attractive in general. You'd like to think that this one girl really liked you, and you should focus on her and try to cater yourself to her needs, but this will not work. She wants to be dating someone that all the girls want to date. She wants to be seen in public with a hot guy so all the other girls are jealous of her. She might be willing to spend some time with you, but if you want her craving your presence, then work on YOU

Lift. Read the sidebar. Learn about frame. One of the BIGGEST things you're going to have to learn is that women fucking love and love fucking a man who takes control and leads.

This idea that the guy is always wrong and kind of a bumbling idiot is just wrong.

ornerycrank · 2016-04-22T23:45:30+00:00

Oneitis and you clearly need her more than she needs you. Get back together with her and cede all power in the relationship to her. Her pussy is magic isn't it? One of a kind? And you'll be lucky to get into it once a month. Worth it, right?

Title	Help me out MRP
Author	RPTA3498
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	April 20, 2016 10:38 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4fmqdq/help_me_out_mrp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/help-me-out-mrp.207487 https://theredarchive.com/post/207487

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