Setting financial boundaries...?

UEMcGill · 2018-05-14T19:47:18+00:00

What's fair? Nothing. Who fucking cares about fair.

If you expect her to go out and turn tricks then that bitch better give you your money.

If you expect her to sit around and be a SAHW than that's your prerogative.

Tell her what your expectations are and either she can do it, or her replacement can. Quit worrying if it's fair. She either supports the mission or she doesn't.

Pimping ain't easy.

2ndal · 2018-05-14T19:36:14+00:00

Financial boundaries are also known as budgets. You set financial boundaries by creating realistic budgets for all of your expenses and sticking to it. Budget for everything, save receipts, track spending. Yes, it takes work. And when I say "everything" I mean everything. Every dollar has a job. I have budgets for everything we spend money on: haircuts, home decor, Christmas presents, babysitters, you name it. You need groceries and the groceries budget is shot? You take that money out of some other budget before buying groceries. I wrote more about how I budget here.

YNAB is the preferred choice for managing a budget.

I’d like to know what others have done in similar situations? What’s fair and what should I expect her to contribute?

We have kids and she doesn't work, but even when she worked and we didn't have kids I handled it like this:

All incoming money goes to a central account. All budgeting is done from this account: bills, savings, spending—everything. I also budget (modestly) equal spending money for each of us per month. Yes, I made more than her. Yes, she got the same spending money as me. Yes, she still gets the same spending money as me even when her job is staying at home with our young kids.

amalgamator · 2018-05-14T19:57:08+00:00

You better be getting that 401k match money - bitches love 401k match money.

Seriously though - make a plan and implement it. You can do it yourself.

A budget is mearly a plan to hit your goals.

Try this book

https://www.amazon.com/One-Page-Financial-Plan-Simple-Smart/dp/1591847559

Prioritize your spending

401k match
High interest debt (you better not have any!)
6 mo emergency fund
Roth IRA (and hers)
401k to limit
anything else to taxable account or short term savings (house down payment)

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-05-14T21:01:05+00:00

I just wrote a post about this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/8hii49/60_dod_week_6_finances/

You need a vision and a plan. Get to work.

suprathepeg · 2018-05-14T21:08:50+00:00

I’m in Canada so the rules are a bit different. My Corp can hold cash as a better tax rate than if I pay myself or take a dividend so I keep as much as I can in the company. But I totally get the budgeting idea. I think that’s the way to approach the whole situation. Thx!

sexyshoulderdevil · 2018-05-15T06:13:11+00:00

Figure out a budget to hit the savings goals you want for the family. You paint the vision you want for your financial security as a family to look like in the next 5 and 10 years. Do the work and the math.
If she can’t get that budget down, take away all the credit and debit cards. Allocate money via cash in an envelope each week. If she doesn’t like that method and it comes to it, open an account in your name and put all your monthly income into it. Tell her to use her income to buy groceries, other consumables and pay for her car. You cover mortgage, your car and other house items. Save the rest of your income. If you have car payments, pay them off soon and only pay cash for cars you can afford outright going forward.
Don’t be a dick about it all. You should set the tone as inspiring a future of financial independence and you need her to do this with you.

Title	Setting financial boundaries...?
Author	suprathepeg
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	May 14, 2018 7:24 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8jf2d2/setting_financial_boundaries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/setting-financial-boundaries.204498 https://theredarchive.com/post/204498

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