Shit test pass or fail

rocknrollchuck · 2018-10-18T23:12:25+00:00

This morning while I am making breakfast I get a snappy” why would you not at-least wash the kids lunch kits if your going to do the dishes”. I calmly replied the kids know they are supposed to unpack their lunches when they get home.

I think this was a good response actually. Actions have consequences, and you made it clear without saying it directly that you're not going to pick up their slack.

While I’m sitting down eating I get another can you make sure your son is getting ready for school. I just look over and then back and continue eating.

"No, I'm eating. You go make sure he's getting ready."

I get asked again can you make sure kid x has his socks on.

She said this because you didn't answer her the first time. I would have said "No, I'm eating. You need to check."

I just grab my stuff don’t say a word head up and take a shower. After I say good by to the kids and leave.

This is butthurt. You not only showed zero leadership, you avoided a confrontation by leaving without saying goodbye. Which led to her text tirade.

Still haven’t responded to the messages and ignored 2 of her calls.

Text her now and tell her you'll sit down and talk with her when you get home. Ignore any responses or calls after that.

When I get home tonight I will act as if nothing happened other than her being a nag just wondering if that’s the right approach to the 3 shit tests.

No, you're avoiding the problem. Sit her down when you get home, just the two of you, and discuss it calmly. Tell her that when you're eating, you're eating. You'll be glad to do your part, but not while she's barking orders at you while you're eating. Do this calmly and firmly, like a father talking to his daughter. After all, she is the Oldest Teenager in the House ^{^TM} . Start treating her like one.

justpickanyusername · 2018-10-18T23:14:22+00:00

I don't see you problem as a pass fail here, but a fail in the big picture. Using the captain and first officer dynamic, who is the captain in the mornings in your house? If you think it is you, then ask yourself, would the first officer be giving orders to her captain?

There is nothing wrong with having your wife take on getting the kids ready for school. But, the dynamic here is clearly with you not in the lead and in charge. You don't necessarily need to be the one running around getting everything done and barking out orders. That's perfect for an FO to take on. But, you need to be the one that can come downstairs, evaluate the crew, and make sure everything is getting done. The crew reports to you and you are in command.

In other words, it is your ship. Act like you own the place. This means being fully aware of how to get your family ready in the mornings, what needs to be done, who needs to do it, and following up to make sure it is done. Buckle up for the power struggle though. You will be trying to take the wheel from your wife with her hands already on it. She has seen that you are incapable of doing this and will fight letting go. Take it, lead, and lead well and you will be fine and she will slowly trust your leadership.

CalvinRichland · 2018-10-18T21:49:38+00:00

You forgot to laugh at her

Rino1977 · 2018-10-19T14:36:26+00:00

Working on it. Shit takes time. Took 20 years to get to what I am now. 50 lbs over weight and fat. I don’t expect to lose it all in one month! At one point this year I was 250 lbs to be back down to 225 is ok and I still have a long way to go.

470_2_700_nm · 2018-10-19T12:05:54+00:00

I think when you get there you not need much advice here, but you are not there. And the advice for this particular situation will only go so far because of that.

A couple things stand out to me: you deered right away.

Second thing: your fat.

Concentrate on fixing both of those, with emphasis on the second. Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.

Reach180 · 2018-10-19T14:19:04+00:00

I calmly replied the kids know they are supposed to unpack their lunches when they get home.

True or not, this is a DEER. By responding this way, you're accepting her premise.

AA, AM, or STFU.

RedPillCoach · 2018-10-21T17:09:58+00:00

This is not exactly a 'fail' but it is certainly not a pass and you could have handled it much better! These were simple compliance tests and some MILD punishment is appropriate. Simply a very quick scolding- "Stop it dear. I have got this." Ignoring is also a significant and mild punishment but if you take it as far as you did it turns into Stonewalling and "the silent treatment." In a word, butthurt.

You should always use the mildest punishment possible to achieve your goals- which I assume is reducing the Shit Testing. Consider whether a better goal would be to work on your ability to tolerate basic Shit Tests rather than trying to punish normal female behavior.

Rino1977 · 2018-10-18T22:11:55+00:00

No I’m actually not worried at all. I’m new to MRP and looking for guidance from people with experience. If it’s asking to much go fuck a goat.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-10-18T21:57:17+00:00

Failed. You Deered.

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-10-18T22:00:00+00:00

TLDR - I made a decision this morning and I'm worried mommy's still gonna be mad when I get home. Help!!

1) It ain't about the lunch kits man.

2) I have a feeling silence was better than anything that would've came out of your mouth at the time. You're still a fag though.

3) Go home and deal with it you fucking bitch.

4) Lighten the fuck up.

Title	Shit test pass or fail
Author	Rino1977
Upvotes	12
Comments	23
Date	October 18, 2018 9:44 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9pdl7c/shit_test_pass_or_fail/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/shit-test-pass-or-fail.203879 https://theredarchive.com/post/203879

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