Apologies in advance if I’m treating on any toes, saying the wrong thing or generally being a jackass. Long time lurker, first time poster. So hopefully that buys me a little leeway.

I’m here because I feel like I have lost my way. So I was hoping some of you fine gentlemen could offer some thoughts and perspective.

Some background first: I’m an early 30’s guy. Very tall, very solid. I go to gym 5-7 days a week, and while I’m not in perfect shape, I feel like I’m on my way there. I’m incredibly strong naturally. I have a great job that affords me a nice apartment, nice shiny toys, a convertible car, ect. I have a first degree back belt in Taekwondo. I’m intelligent, articulate, and motivated on anything I set my mind to. I’m also an artist (trained in professional illustration) and am more than capable of showing off a thoughtful, sensitive side to my friends and family.

Problem is, I feel like I’m fundamentally broken somehow. Never had sex. Yeah, you read that right. Never even had a girlfriend. I’ve been on a few dates that ultimately led to nothing. And I don’t persure any further because…I don’t feel the need. Like I read all these posts about dude who are all “Yeah I’m sleeping with 8’s and 9’s every night.” And I think that’s great for you, but I feel no need to do the same. It’s such an odd position to be in. Part of me gets angry for no reason. The other part of me doesn’t care. The concept of “Being alpha” holds no appeal to me simply because it’s just a title. I’d rather adhere to my own standards than those set arbitrarily by someone else.

Power and confidence have always come easy to me, simply because of my physicality. I fear no man for simple knowledge of the fact that I could break them in half if I wanted to. In a crowd I tower over everyone else. But at the same time, I wonder if that same power has become a cage which I live in. In todays society, strength and power are seen only as tools used by a bully. I have to be so careful lest I come off as intimidating to my co-workers. This goes double for women, who waste no opportunity to cry “sexual harassment!” in the workplace. I wonder if by seeking acceptance from people around me, I’ve lost touch with myself.

Anyways, that’s the basics. Just looking for some constructive input from you guys. Happy to answer questions as best I can.

EDIT: Okay, a few things from the replies I've seen so far:

  1. Not looking for sympathy or coddling.
  2. Not looking for people to agree with me (seriously, why would I come to TRP for that kind of validation?)
  3. Most importantly, I posted this because I recognize the fact that I should at least TRY to change my attitude towards women. Being completely celibate for no reason is a pretty lonely way to go through life, and while I've been fine with that, I want to change that. I don't want to limit myself.

So the whole purpose of this post is not to boast. I didn't list all the cool stuff I have to try and impress you. I did it to -impress upon you- that even I have enough self awareness to realize that I have all this stuff going for me and I'm being a dumbass who squanders it.

I want to get over whatever fears or restrictions I've been placing on myself. I think I've been living in the forest of my limitations so long I've forgotten what the trees even look like. So I'm asking my fellow TRP members to offer suggestions or different viewpoints for how to approach these problems.