Are men also hypergamous?

JordanRedfort · 2018-07-29T13:44:22+00:00

Early life

You are a teenager. All hormones and no experience, desperate to get out from under the thumb of oppression of your parents. You need a job. Job gives you the means to do what it is you want to do. Eat, pay rent as a roomie, buy your first shitbox car, go out drinking, hit up vegas for the first time, buy that sweet little nextdoor neighbour girl a movie ticket so you'll get a little hand action in the back row.... money makes the world go round. Since you're a teen with zero experience, entry level shit minimum wage jobs are all that's available to you. The only choice you have is deciding if you want to say, "Want fries with that" or,"Fill 'er up?" Beggars can't be choosers. But there are hundreds of shitty jobs out there. You're on a job carousel. You bounce from job to job, because none of them mean that much, and there are always more McJobs out there. Manager "disrespects" you? You quit on the spot and storm off. You finally find something that sticks, resonates with you. You like it here.

20-30's

You stay, gradually gaining respect and responsibility, growing some skills. Or, your school/training course has finished and you're now qualified to do some higher level work in a field you actually are interested in. Your skillset is growing, you're becoming an asset rather than a slot-filler.

Your name is getting out. Bigger better job offers are coming in. Rival firms are courting you. You have your pick of 4 different choices at all times. You logically and rationally choose the best package for you, again gaining "fame" and experience, getting more wealthy as you go along. Again, you have little holding you to any individual job, because there are 4 better ones just waiting for you to say yes. Bigger better things. But do you just up and quit your old job without having a signed and sealed offer from the better company in your greasy paw? Fuck no, that'd be stupid. You're building your career. Keep swinging to that higher branch.

40-50's

You are where you want to be. Ducks in a row, settled comfortably, making bank. The offers have slowed because you've been stagnant in your field, and frankly your reputation as a hot shot has (justly) diminished. You're still respected by the seniors, but the young hungry hotshots have their eyes on your corner office. You see your old self in them. Some longing and jealousy, but fuck, you've got it made. I bet if you tried you could land a few of those coveted positions opening up at rival firms. You're a big fucking deal, right. You were.

In actuality you've outlived your usefulness to the company. You just aren't a top producer anymore. You get shuffled to smaller and smaller offices, your workload keeps getting decreased. Your value is waning. But you still think you deserve that big corner office. You've hit the wall.

Retirement

One day you show up at work and all your shit is in a neat little box on your desk, security waiting to escort you out. You go down to the local shelter, buy 3 cats, and slowly wither away alone.

Shit. I meant to replace every instance of "men" with "women". And every instance of "job" with "men".

Women relate to men like men relate to jobs.

morescoobysnacks · 2018-07-29T14:54:45+00:00

Women are hypergamous because they can only pop 1 out at a time so they need to get the good shit. Men can go full Genghis Khan.

MurkyEntrepreneur · 2018-07-29T15:42:35+00:00

Men are polygamous

Aggressive_Beta · 2018-07-29T14:32:09+00:00

I believe that most men would cheat on their LTR if the right woman came along at the right time, particularly if she looked like his idealized HB10 unicorn. But that does not make men hypergamous. Men can simultaneously love the mother of our children and fuck other women, or even love multiple women simultaneously, because unlike women, we're wired to value quantity over quality. We have worthless infinite sperm that we can give to as many women as will take it; women have rare valuable eggs so they must be more choosy in who gets access to them.

So unlike men, women cannot love more than one man at a time. Once a guy who is more alpha than you has come along and "forced" her to upgrade to higher quality genes, your inferior genes have become worthless to her and you are only as useful to her as your ability to provide. Women are incapable of loving a man who is not the most alpha man she, at this current point in time, is convinced she's ever had and will ever be able to get. Men, on the other hand, are certainly capable of loving a woman who does not have the best genetics he perceives himself as being able to get.

That is why men are the true romantics and women are the true realists. We have enough love to go around for many different women, but a woman can only ever truly love her alpha.

rpsheepdog · 2018-07-29T13:36:13+00:00

This is kind of a loaded question.

Everybody wants what is best for them, but its how the strategy plays out is where the issues arise. Women have the dualistic strategy where they are legitimately looking for two types of men, whereas men tend to prioritize looks over parenting skills.

JonathanMekerset · 2018-07-29T16:38:28+00:00

No. Why? Because you’d fuck a 5 if you were alone with her.

vandaalen · 2018-07-29T14:30:59+00:00

topothebellcurve · 2018-07-29T13:45:05+00:00

No.

Hypergamy does not mean wanting the best option for yourself. It's a behavioral manifestation of a woman's hormonal profile across her cycle.

abudun79 · 2018-07-29T14:21:18+00:00

Is the search-engine defective again?

Bruchibre · 2018-07-30T11:04:52+00:00

Yes and no. I think most men want to be the Man in the family so be the main provider. If your partner has a better position than you she will start thinking she has the power and it can become emasculating.

rassiamelo · 2018-09-11T23:50:52+00:00

More so, IMO because men are more likely than women to have multiple partners. It's a different thing they are looking for, but equally opportunistic.

DayGameChirality · 2018-07-29T14:15:27+00:00

Yes, men are hypergamous.

GucciGangBucks · 2018-07-29T15:46:25+00:00

I try to create so much value for myself where it’s impossible to ever see myself shooting down on a scale. I view every girl I meet as me being out of their league.

821sleepingbag · 2018-07-29T16:34:08+00:00

Yes and no.

Whilst men are wired evolutionarily to spread their seed with as many women as possible, this means yes we may desire to have sex with a lot of women.

However this "spreading seed" instinct means that we aren't that choosy and will often date down.

Women are not wired to have sex with a lot of men rather they are wired to pick the best possible man and stay there (until better comes along).

If you define hypergamy as opportunistically choosing the best mate possible (resource and security wise) despite having a current partner then no men are not hypergamous.

Men are the romantics remember, men fall in love with women almost unconditionally, regardless of whether they are the best mate available and unlike women; men will not branch swing to a woman who provides better resources.

Wrath_of_Trump · 2018-07-29T16:53:39+00:00

Women's mating decisions are based primarily around resources, men's are not which is why we can be polygamous without creating designations like "beta bux". Women are driven to see things in terms of a pecking order.

StanDando · 2018-07-29T17:18:53+00:00

No men are not hypergamous. Also, hypergamy doesnt mean 'whats best for us', it means having sex with/pair-bonding with wealthier males, and not having sex/pair-bonding with poor men.

As the evilutionary psychology of men and women is completely different (even polar opposite), there is very little if any overlap.

Males are attracted to the young and the physically attractive in the same way that women are attracted to males born high in the class system. As hypergamy refers specifically to financial/resource privelidge, it doesnt cover or describe males in general.

anti_masyarakat · 2018-07-29T17:41:34+00:00

Men are gamous. Basically, minus the hyper. Yes. in any situation, men will cheat or trade with something better. However, they often doesn't do that. Because, only men capable to love women in the most idiotic way. Basically, when men become Beta. They tend to prioritize and sacrifice themselves for what they already have. That's why, buncha men was over promise with sex and women. SO, they are motivated to contribute into to society.

It's no brainer to say. Genghis Khan conquer entire half of the continent, just simply to impress her girlfriend. But, get rejected by her. So, what he do. Well, we all knew, most of that guy seed is responsible for most of the kids in this world.

daytonbull90 · 2018-07-29T17:43:03+00:00

I'd say we're inherently hypergamous, it's a game we play with women though, I'm going to game as hard as I can to get her in bed, if she caves, she loses the game. If she sleeps with me, she'll sleep with anyone, you can't turn a hoe into a house wife. I'm actively seeking my dream wife this way.

If they're physically attractive, I approach.

If they're smart, and have a nice personality, I consider a relationship early on, talk to and date.

After that, if my game gets them in bed within a month, there's not a chance in hell I'll relo, only spin.

Spinning more plates creates abundance mentality and attracts the actual girl I want. We're seeking the best partners for our offspring like women, but in a different way. We don't (at least not as much as women do to men) secure a woman, then go fucking other women to get them pregnant. Cheaters are scum, male or female, if you're not an item with her, then it's not cheating, it's just spinning. Hypergamy is spinning and cheating, but one is less ethical than the other.

daveofmars · 2018-07-29T17:52:13+00:00

No. Hypergamy is finding the best mate to the eclusion of others. Men are polygamous. We want more mates.

red_matrix · 2018-07-29T18:25:16+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

ich_bin_doch_geil · 2018-07-29T19:43:31+00:00

No. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Women are the ones to typically cheat and lie. Men sometimes respond tit for tat, but it is not in our nature, just something society is pushing right now.

Title	Are men also hypergamous?
Author	throwitdown92011
Upvotes	14
Comments	32
Date	July 29, 2018 1:28 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/92uraa/are_men_also_hypergamous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/are-men-also-hypergamous.103937 https://theredarchive.com/post/103937

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