Are these IOIs?

tombreck2 · 2014-10-16T14:15:45+00:00

Say hi to her.

Maybe she wanted to fuck you. Maybe not. But you will never know unless you speak

SkorchZang · 2014-10-16T10:46:52+00:00

You are the man, you see something you like, you make something happen. 45 sec is a good rule to live by, you notice her, the counter starts. Have to get over there and say something (whatever you got, even if it's just a mumbling "hi..." that goes nowhere at the time). 45 sec is not enough to think about anything or analyze anything - and that's the whole point. Get moving, zero in on her, drop your payload and then whatever happens, happens. Couldn't care less, you did your part.

On the other hand if you failed to approach in the time limit, then might as well forget it and not worry if these were IOIs or what, you fucked it up already by not instantly going for it.

Doesn't matter if those were IOIs or her looking for something, or being worried the aspie behind her was about to go for surprise buttsex on her.

Don't need any IOIs or anybody's permission.

kingofpoplives · 2014-10-16T15:09:32+00:00

Shes not smiling or anything just looking 3-4 times like shes searching for something.

Did you catch what she was looking at? My best guess is that she had a severe crush on some other guy at the party who was probably talking to another girl or something and she was losing her mind over it.

This was almost certainly not an IOI for you. When girls like a guy they will usually avoid direct eye contact.

A very common thing is they will position themselves very close, but with their back to you. It's a common saying that if a group of girls positions themselves near you, the girl with her back to you in the one that likes you.

You want to avoid making eye contact with a girl until you are ready to approach. Do not let them see you checking them out. Look anywhere but at the girls you like, let them wonder why you aren't looking at them. Develop the ability to notice out of the corner of your eye when a girl is checking you out, and when you are sure she is, that's when you approach.

If you make significant eye contact, but then do not approach, it comes off as very beta.

oldredder · 2014-10-17T02:38:27+00:00

In a fraction of a second she's giving you the chance to smile. If you do she'll almost reflexively smile back & if you're flirty she might be. You didn't, did you? I know someone else with moderate aspergers so I get where you're coming from. You need it spelled right out for you & timed down to the fraction of a second by someone else. It's part of the disability: I won't give you a hard time over this. You can get there.

A girl might even be doing this subconsciously; she also might be curious at your own lack of response, or lack of initiation. For a normal guy this can mean cowardice and/or beta status but for an Asperger's guy this is not her norm, she may have no idea what to expect, which in a sense puts you in category X, the unknown, which keeps her interest enough to keep checking back over her shoulder.

For the true beta orbiter there's signs of emotional weakness, supplication. For the true coward who won't flirt with a girl there's signs of fear. For Aspergers you don't need to have any of these weaknesses, or signs of them, to fail to respond / initiate emotionally so to women who aren't expecting this, can't comprehend it at all, you don't even make sense to her in that fraction of a second. All of this is pushing through her brain before even one full second has passed.

She is looking for someone... for you. For what she can read from you. Because of your Aspergers if you don't learn to force your way through it to express something, what you express may be completely unreadable to her.

My friend who is like this turns to alcohol / drugs to spice up his personality and part of this breaks the barrier. The rest is that because of the drugs/alcohol he's lead an incredible life of danger & excitement and if he actually relays any of it in stories to women, they lock on to his stories and then to him emotionally because of it, as what's mentioned in /r/PracticalSexAndLove

In fact what probably gives him is strongest power is what once was his weakest failure: one-itis. This girl, who I met and is in fact physically a goddess on Earth, slept with a few different guys but never him, dated a few of our friends but never him, in fact didn't respect him & wanted him as beta orbiter and eventually got her way. His defeated heart over this actually made him emotionally unavailable to other women, but since he wasn't getting laid by this girl he was more than happy to actually go have sex with these others who took interest, and his stories once he lived through them only added to the allure.

Of course being Aspergers he literally has zero clue any of this actually is happening or why, so in a sense he's a "natural" simultaneously to being what could have been "helpless". It's like he's the Rainman of picking up. Not just acting without plan, purpose or clue but in a sense... unable to even fully comprehend it, but he can do it.

karthiben · 2014-10-16T10:21:56+00:00

Or am I too aspie to understand women?

No one really understands them anyway.

Why didnt you approach her? Tap her on her shoulder and break out into song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6DyGZFG6lE

Or you could just roleplay with it, act like you're both on the run. Be all, "they're watching us".. "keep looking forward"..

I think everyone overthinks this whole game thing. Just have fun with it. Start conversations, role play, fool around a bit, isolate, escalate and bang.

Title	Are these IOIs?
Author	ohropax
Upvotes	2
Comments	6
Date	October 16, 2014 9:09 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2jeivt/are_these_iois/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/are-these-iois.142871 https://theredarchive.com/post/142871

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