Being good is weakness?

Triglycerine · 2019-09-15T19:57:10+00:00

You can be good without being submissive.

Being firm = ! being an asshole.

Not understanding that fact is the root of all this pain.

Girls might mistake one for the other a lot of the time, but that doesn't mean it IS the same thing.

Consider the following, rather than the nice/asshole dichotomy:

Firm benevolence.

anonimo42 · 2019-09-15T20:47:37+00:00

I don't know what it is but real life experience has taught that being nice = you won't be respected. I've personally experimented with this. In restaurants with the waitresses. At school. When I'm nice and polite I immediately notice the lack of respect/attention I get. You don't have to be aggressive and a dick. Just be straight forward. Show less emotions. Be able to look someone in the eyes. Speek with a deep confident voice. Doing this lead to people trying to please me.

Vermillion_Rx · 2019-09-15T21:43:22+00:00

I think your dilemma lies in the definitions you're assigning to these traits.

There's nothing wrong with being kind-hearted or a "good" person. Nor do you need to be an asshole.The problem is how "good" is defined and how "goodness" is perceived by women, attraction-wise.

Let's say you jumpstart someone's car because they're stranded and can't help themselves; literally. That's kindhearted but it's also leading and taking action. Those types of "good" behaviors are attractive. You'd even be fine to donate to a charitable cause for people who are genuinely fucked over, like cancer patients who can't pay the bills, etc.

Now let's say some woman is crying over some trivial matter, and you use up your valuable time soothing her over spilled milk. Or you help someone pay for something when they could definitely do it themselves with some budgeting or having lower standards. That's, essentially, supplicating to their desires and whims. It's approval-based and would be rooted in a need to feel good about yourself and to sooth your empathy. Not out of genuine necessity.

As for treating people decently, it means you're not out to cause senseless harm or to take out your negativity out on people like a childish beta. Yet, like others have said, you remain firm when people trample over you or use you, without resorting to being a dick about it.

Alphas lead, they take command of crises with a calm head and are secure enough in themselves to react appropriately to others. Betas are reactive and unstable, they try to please people because that's how they win people over.

Women like assholes because of the perceived sense of confidence and security in themselves that assholes project. Women oftentimes misread genuine alpha traits, and many assholes are actually angry betas that, at face value, project illusions of the traits mentioned above.

Edit: grammar

Madhatter747 · 2019-09-15T20:27:09+00:00

All weak people can't afford to be assholes so they must be nice. But that doesn't mean all nice people are weak. Assertiveness, dominance, strength, whatever you wanna call it, must be there. Otherwise, you're a weak person being an asshole, even though you can't afford to.

thrwy75479 · 2019-09-15T20:56:31+00:00

Eventually, everyone becomes good.

This is because people need relationships, be they romantic or otherwise, and this involves give and take.

Try being a selfish jackass when you're old. You're going to die alone with no friends, no family. I've personally witnessed this. Even if you're rich, people will want your money, they won't want to be around you. It may be the case though that you're happy with yourself. It's hard to say though.

That said, you do have to be firm, and this comes from having a strong sense of self, and where your boundaries lie. Thing is, you have to be around people to develop this sense.

As humans, we have a deep need to socialize. If you're mostly alone, or you're around good people a lot, you won't grow. You won't know where your lines are until someone pushes you, and you push back and figure out what you like and don't like. This is how you become more assertive, which lies between passivity, and aggression.

The assholes in your life will help you develop this sense, which is why you should be grateful for them. The other thing is, the good things in life don't just magically appear, you have to get them, and to do that, you have to be an asshole sometimes. It's important to know when, and how.

This is why women like them. Because they know what they want, and they're not afraid to push to get it. The idea is that he'll take her for the ride, and provide her (and, potentially, their family) with the good things he gets. Note that he's doing it for himself but she's reaping the benefits.

A good guy might be okay, but he won't be competitive enough to get far in life, which makes him a good companion when she's old, and needs support, but not a great provider, or much else really.

Fridgemagnetman · 2019-09-15T21:28:42+00:00

Treat people good if they treat you nice, but make sure you get what you want and don't take shit from anybody. You can be nice and still be in charge

CarlosNeedsAHat · 2019-09-15T21:37:46+00:00

There are ways to be good without being nice. You should be fun; you should be a leader; you should be competent. Notice that none of those things require that you be an asshole, either.

A nice guy enters a woman's world to try to make her feel better when she's upset. Instead the goal should be to get her to move from her shitty world into your fun world where you do what you want and do it so well that she's happy to be along for the ride.

Asshole vs. Nice Guy is not the right dichotomy. Her frame vs. your frame is.

Whisper · 2019-09-15T22:29:41+00:00

https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/71eqa0/yes_virginia_you_do_have_to_be_an_asshole/

Jay-G · 2019-09-15T22:02:50+00:00

How often do you get laid?

trele_morele · 2019-09-15T22:47:35+00:00

Don't be 'good' in the nice guy sense. Be selfish and stick to your principles. Don't give too much (of your time, energy, resources, rtc) but when you do give, give freely without strings attached

youcancallmedada · 2019-09-15T23:41:54+00:00

Not inherently.

GetMeLaidAlot · 2019-09-15T23:47:11+00:00

No, it's just that the concept of 'good' that you've been sold is a false one and is not very pragmatic for men today who wish to pursue sexual relationships with women.

fartt123 · 2019-09-16T00:07:34+00:00

To forgive because you can't fight, is weakness, but to let go knowing you could beat them is strength.

[deleted] · 2019-09-16T06:07:01+00:00

You've deeply misunderstood close to everything.

The sidebar is that way --->

LordFlakkko · 2019-09-16T06:41:16+00:00

theres a difference between "guys we cant cross the street we aren't at the cross walk that's j-walking!!1" and not being/ acting like a thug

ColdBeing · 2019-09-16T13:52:31+00:00

It's not about being an asshole. It's about being arrogant. If you want to help people, that's fine. Being too available is unattractive. Don't help people with the idea that they owe you something, in mind.

If you decide to help someone but you tell them they owe you and they agree, then you need to draw a line. If they haven't paid you back, don't help them the next time they ask for help.

Jesusfeminist · 2019-09-15T20:07:42+00:00

are you afraid of confrontation?

[deleted] · 2019-09-15T20:22:02+00:00

Lol. You read a whole book and still don't get it. Please read again.

Title	Being good is weakness?
Author	bare_et_spoergsmaal
Upvotes	20
Comments	39
Date	September 15, 2019 7:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d4phqm/being_good_is_weakness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-good-is-weakness.253402 https://theredarchive.com/post/253402

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