Critique me

bicepsblastingstud · 2015-02-26T04:20:00+00:00

"Look, you shouldn't make commitments that you can't keep. If you don't confirm being here at 1 then I'm leaving. I was hoping to see you but quite frankly this is unacceptable."

You're 100% in the right -- but that doesn't matter. You got emotional, which means that you lose.

TRPdating · 2015-02-26T03:38:02+00:00

"Look, you shouldn't make commitments that you can't keep. If you don't confirm being here at 1 then I'm leaving. I was hoping to see you but quite frankly this is unacceptable."

I think maybe a bit too far. Generally you want to appear unphased. Maybe she was busy. If this was the second time she did this then I'd say it's unacceptable.

A simple "Let me know when your schedule opens up" and don't text unless she says she wants to meet and pursue someone else.

EDIT: just realized it was the second time. So yeah, unacceptable.

kingofpoplives · 2015-02-26T14:39:34+00:00

then I limited it to 3-4 text messages per day for 3 days until scheduled hang out

You should not have been texting during this time. Your beta texting may have killed any attraction that was there.

Otherwise, there is a good chance she was never really interested at all.

fluviant · 2015-02-26T07:36:36+00:00

This chick probably rolled her eyes at your "reprimanding." You have not even fucked her yet; there is no motivation for her to abide by your discipline.

This is way more basic than TRP. In order for your discipline to have any effect, there has to be a conditioned or recognized reward. You are not a source of pleasure to her yet. You are still a bit of a stranger. Applying punishment works against you because she's already taking a bit of a risk in meeting up with you. All you did was give her an extra reason to flake.

Apanthropos · 2015-02-26T12:42:16+00:00

You looked emotionally affected by your reply. You showed frame so it might slide.

The biggest mistake is you agreeing her with her reschedulings. You gave the impression of eagerness and she sensed that.

secret_barber · 2015-02-26T13:23:16+00:00

I would say you expressed way too much availability.

then I limited it to 3-4 text messages per day for 3 days until scheduled hang out midday

There is zero reason to do this. Once you set the date, cut contact and show up. Don't confirm the date or text her where you are or anything. She will be excited / nervous about meeting you, as she should be. Texting her at this point only serves to provide comfort and thereby eliminates mystery and anticipation - tingles.

A typical response from guys is, "What if she is going to flake? I don't want to waste my time." As you have shown, texting doesn't stop flakiness. In fact, texting between setting the date and arriving at the date is an expression of your insecurity. You need to move with confidence. If she doesn't show up, you send a "WTF?" text, but...

Ok wow, I say, "Look..."

You don't lecture her. It is her loss and she fucked up so bad that she doesn't deserve another second of your time, not a single word.

tombreck2 · 2015-02-26T18:01:22+00:00

It's easier if you learn how to weed out the flakes in the future:

You: Hey this is Thoughtful Ant. What day are you free to meet

Her: Tuesday

You: Ok, let's do tuesday at 5pm at x.

No other texting until the date.

If you want flake protection then the day of you can text her:

You: Change of plans

If she doesn't respond then she was going to flake anyway and you save yourself the frustration.

Title	Critique me
Author	ThoughtfulAnt
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	February 26, 2015 2:55 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2x6uvz/critique_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/critique-me.146514 https://theredarchive.com/post/146514

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