Divorce/Separation talk

JoeJackJohnson · 2016-08-15T13:34:22+00:00

Each divorce is different, yet they usually play out in only a few ways. As far as the talk goes...that is something only you will have the best answer for. However...before you have "the talk", I would recommend you preparing yourself if you have not already. I don't care how long you have been married or how well you know her...nobody is the same person after getting hit with divorce papers and reality. If it's possible to screw you over, she WILL screw you over. I don't care how nice or good of a person she is, divorce will bring out the fangs in everyone.

Archwinger · 2016-08-15T13:59:45+00:00

If you want to come out ahead, don't talk to her about it and warn her it's coming. Don't sit her down and "ask for a divorce".

See the six best divorce attorneys in your city and pay all of them for an initial consultation. Pick the best one. The other five will have conflicts of interest after meeting with you and can't represent your wife.

Do everything your lawyer tells you about getting your finances and possessions and documents organized. Including documenting who's done what with the kids, if applicable, who brought what assets when and what's become of them, personal businesses, retirement accounts -- everything. Get all of your ducks in a row so you're ready to move.

Call ahead of time to get her cell phone line canceled, and her name off of any joint credit cards or accounts. Time the day that most of this goes into effect to be pretty close to when you serve her divorce papers. Nothing like losing her long-time cell phone number and suddenly having no phone service or primary credit card when she's trying to get organized to combat an unexpected divorce.

Fuck being amicable. You want to walk out with as many assets as you can, and as much time with your kids (if applicable) as you can. You want her to be unprepared, hurt, and angry. If you sit down and try to have a conversation about this, she's going to get angry anyway, then get prepared, file first, and take your ass down.

Frankly, I don't think you really want a divorce, or you wouldn't be talking to your wife about it. You'd be filing. You just want to hurt your wife by sitting her down and talking divorce, maybe as some kind of power play or ultimatum. I get that she's been a shitty wife in the past, but if you're really serious about divorce, you'll be far better off if you focus on winning the divorce instead of trying to hurt your wife.

yomatt626 · 2016-08-15T13:44:44+00:00

If she's blindsided it's going to be difficult to keep things amicable. People don't like feeling like they've been misled or lied to, and if she thought your marriage was in good shape when in fact you wanted to end it that's how she's going to feel. Spell out your reasons as clearly as possible and don't leave any room for misinterpretation. You don't want the hassle of her trying to wiggle out of the divorce or make it up to you, but rather a clean cut and a new start. You might be able to come to good terms sometime in the future, but be prepared for her to be really upset in the short term. And be ready to fight in court for your property and possessions. It's hard to say how she will react, but it's always possible she'll try to take you to the cleaners. In the event that happens, have a contingency plan and a way to manage with less until you're back on your feet.

PaperStreetVilla · 2016-08-15T14:49:40+00:00

Lol, assume every gun is loaded.

Want amicable? Talk with your lawyer, set up a simple, air tight case that handles your requirements 100%. When she has no way to fuck you over, then you are amicable.

Best ways I've heard of the talk going over is handing paperwork after, and only after, you have 100% of your work done, and it only needs a signature

jzekyllandhyde · 2016-08-15T13:46:56+00:00

Amicable? That puts her in power. Just divorce her and leave her hamster spinning

Yashugan00 · 2016-08-15T18:44:30+00:00

Is there no way to make it seem that it was her idea and she breaks it to you? I think things might go more amicable? Since you already want it but she's still trying to convince you its in your best interest? Invite her divorced friends over, watch a few comedies were the couple breaks up and is better for it. (Couples retreat?)

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-08-15T20:19:08+00:00

Initiate a conversation with your lawyer, first, and plan the fuck out of things.

pocketriki · 2016-08-16T01:13:52+00:00

Why do you want the divorce? No one asked you this yet and you haven't given that information.

Title	Divorce/Separation talk
Author	Deckard_Spade
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	August 15, 2016 1:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4xtj89/divorceseparation_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/divorceseparation-talk.109761 https://theredarchive.com/post/109761

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