Girlfriend is illegal (20M)

Quantum_Jiraiya · 2018-02-03T21:21:07+00:00

I don’t want to say “your girlfriend wants to marry you, obtain citizenship, and dump you after wasting years of your life and takin as much money as possible,” but that is the most probable outcome of this situation. She literally told you both her sisters married their husbands ONLY because they were citizens. Missing the dad thing for 6 years is probably a yellow flag, but more due to the working to help his family/not being a citizen business than he just ran off. Issue is you have this collosal red flag waving on a flag pole taller than a border wall and trying to ignore it as best as possible. You are 20 years old and have a decade before you will even reach your prime. She could get deported any day now under Trump. If you don’t marry her, she could always take drastic action by poking holes in condoms, “forgetting” to take birth control etc. I wouldn’t even demote to a plate I’d leave fast.

_schneewittchen · 2018-02-03T21:06:43+00:00

The wall just got 10 feet higher

ValorElite · 2018-02-03T21:48:56+00:00

A lot of people aren't going to read the whole post because we see similar so often that 99.99 percent of the time, it goes one way. You're going the other way.

The main issue that stems from this is I don't know if my current LTR is dating me because she likes me or because she is pushing for that US citizenship.

You're not wrong.

Best case scenario is that my LTR ditches her family and cuts them off (but that is the oneitis talking).

Good for you for recognizing this. The vast majority of men wouldn't.

And finally, she did lie to me.

To be fair, that's something she should have lied to you about until she'd been with you longer. Telling you the truth right away would have put herself and a considerable amount of her family in danger.

I will simply text her that I think it is time we start seeing other people and block her off everything. I will continue working my internship, get good grades, and try to get another internship for this summer. Luckily I have not cut off my friends or my career aspirations for her. I have great drive for my life and she was simply a good time that I learned a ton from.

Excellent perspective. You're handling this well. Good luck.

IVIaskerade · 2018-02-03T21:56:30+00:00

Break up with her as ICE is bundling her into the deportation wagon.

BearSaint · 2018-02-03T20:40:15+00:00

Holy fucking wall of text. I'm not reading all of that retarded bullshit. Don't marry this girl. Jesus Christ you are actually thinking about marrying some girl so she can get a green card? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have a dad around to beat some sense into you or what? You're only 20 years old you can't even drink alcohol and you are considering marrying some illegal for a fucking green card?

SMFH

dreadfrog · 2018-02-03T22:01:12+00:00

I read the entire post. I would say that the one most important thing here is that she lied to you about a very important thing (her being an illegal) for one whole goddamn year.

This is like Frodo crawling through all of middle earth, then Mordor, then throwing the damn ring in to the lava pit, and then the voiceover tells Frodo: "Sorry, it was the wrong ring! Come back home and do it all over again! LOL!"

While her reasons are understandable, you must consider your own perspective first. If she had told you, would you have considered investing into a LTR? From what you write, I think you would not.

Therefore, this means she made a very important decision for you, without asking for your input.

If you dated a woman who made important decisions without your input, say stuff like: "Oh honey, I just redecorated the house, euthanized your scruffy old dog, and decided to get pregnant from the cum you left in the condom on the floor!"

So. How would you feel? Does this answer your question?

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-02-03T20:48:52+00:00

I don't need to read your novel to know you have max oneitis and you're blue pill as fuck. Come back and ask us for advice when you're not the most pathetic pussy beta around and have at least read the side bar material.

Armydude19 · 2018-02-03T21:53:33+00:00

Alright I took the time to read it man.

I know a little bit about the topic because I know about immigration law. I'm in the border patrol. The process for citizenship is extremely difficult depending on where you're from. Unless you're highly educated and an expert in a certain field it's sort of impossible to get citizenship on their own. This is why you see a lot of indian/asian immigrant doctors, math professors, and engineers. They got their citizenship and visa sponsorship because of their education. The companies who hired them had to prove they couldn't find an American with the same qualifications such as education and experience in order to sponsor them.

The average immigrant now a days is an uneducated Hispanic unskilled laborer. Those people don't get any citizenship unless they marry into them or their American born kids sponsor them after they turn 21.

So what you say can be entirely true. She's serving herself interests just like any other person or woman would be. If she can marry a citizen why should she waste her pussy on an illegal immigrant? Same for other women. If she can get a nice betabux husband why would she settle for beta bob making 30k a year?

Your decision is fine, I would be conflicted as well but I'd do the same thing. Cut her off and all contact if you're always going to be doubting yourself. But keep in mind all women always try to marry up. It's branch swinging at its finest. If its not for citizenship, itll be for money, status, or fame. AWALT.

huge_gap · 2018-02-03T21:04:50+00:00

Dump this ho she gon get deported. Build the wall. Also stop being a pussy. You have major oneitis. Go to R/relationships with this trash. Stopped reading after first 4 sentences when I saw the giant wall of text. You're desperate for this girl it's hilarious.

Soderbergh · 2018-02-03T21:51:59+00:00

It's just probabilities in a way. There are too many reasons this could go wrong.

You're in the prime of your life and shouldn't even be thinking about all this stuff.

On that basis alone I would say 'avoid all this trouble.'

I've also seen my friends lives get messed up because of citizenship situations.

Very few situations like that actually work out.

To make it work, both sides have to be very genuine, honest and truly into each other for the long haul and just know it in their bones.

Doesn't sound like the case with you.

LavaPipe · 2018-02-03T22:37:44+00:00

Never marry her

creating_my_life · 2018-02-03T22:44:35+00:00

A 20M shouldn't be in a monogamous LTR, independent of her legal status. Let that sink in for a minute.

Pork_Sword3 · 2018-02-03T21:37:52+00:00

What stood out to me the most is:

she’s femanine, sex whenever I want and is a conservative girl that follows my lead and values.

Stop looking at this from such a narrow scope. There’s a massive red flag smacking you in the face but you’re turning a blind eye because this girl apparently suits you on a relationship level.

There’s a lot more women out there that could easily fit what you described without so much baggage.

Do what you want but if I were you I would cut my losses. Why invite unnecessary drama into your life?

XCKCX · 2018-02-03T22:11:39+00:00

Tell her “I’m sorry babe but you have to go back.”

Title	Girlfriend is illegal (20M)
Author	ValorElite
Upvotes	8
Comments	54
Date	February 3, 2018 8:32 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7v1vtf/girlfriend_is_illegal_20m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-is-illegal-20m.177940 https://theredarchive.com/post/177940

Comments