How did you get destroyed emotionally before learning about TRP?

RealRG · 2015-01-12T11:29:32+00:00

Dad had a stroke. He was left paralyzed on the left side of his body, and had severe brain damage. Lived in a nursing home, and required round the clock care. He would lash out at my mom verbally, but he wasn't mentally there. The doc said it was amazing he lived.

Within two years my mom dropped the word 'divorce'. It didnt happen as he passed shortly after.TRP has helped me go from hating and despising her to recognizing that's just female opportunism, her capacity for logic and unconditional love are minimal.

Never get married.

YourShadowScholar · 2015-01-12T10:14:33+00:00

I have the opposite problems. Never issues with having sex with women, but rather with their loyalty. Have had too many women leave me due to medical problems, just have been forced to admit that women are incapable of love from empirical evidence.

8675309c · 2015-01-12T13:13:27+00:00

one of my most stable pillars in life were proven faulty when my wife asked for a divorce. I had to find out why she wanted to leave. we had a family, jobs, no abuse issues, light financial problems, a few friends, etc

turns out she left because she wasn't happy that I rolled over for her, and I was generally depressed from the brow beating over the years

belingrad · 2015-01-12T08:59:06+00:00

Serial orbiter that got no contacted after I dared to ask her out and then said no to my place being her personal PO box. We'd known each other for years, she'd lived with me for months while unemployed, helped get job etc.. Went into a tailspin when she starting dating and pulling away. Not a good look when the mirror broke and I realized how weak minded and beta I was to have this break my view of the world.

RichieFinn · 2015-01-12T09:40:37+00:00

Not necessarily getting heartbroken , but time after time i was so caught up on being the nicest guy ever wondering why I wasn't getting any girls and other guys were. I used to even blame the girls, which i now see is ridiculous because how could they like an over eager loser like that.

Eventually started noticing behaviors which were actually working for me, and came to find r/seduction, however a lot of that seems so routined and faked to me, so eventually i found a post which mentioned TRP and havent looked back since.

Edit - I do sometimes look back at Seddit and post some replies there now and then, but with a different view and outlook from how I would have before.

KolorKannon · 2015-01-12T08:35:08+00:00

For me, it was when I have been dating a girl on and off for 3 years and she was trying to get some info on a guy she just met (who she wanted to get involved with) and texted me "If you truly love me, you re going to tell me". Or when a girl was asking me to come over just to fuck and I honestly thought she was messing with me, she then sent naked selfies and I still declined, thinking it was some kind of joke because no girl would ve plainly asked for sex.

Bobwayne17 · 2015-01-12T10:50:25+00:00

Got engaged while I was in the beginning of my enlistment, shortly after my soon to be ex-fiancée essentially tells me that she has been fucking guys for her coke habit (that I thought she stopped) and had gotten HSV while I was in another state.

Also, before her my gf and "first" told me she was on BC and my naive, idiot teenage self believed her. A few months later and a positive pregnant test in the trash I realized how bad I fucked up/got fucked over.

Being a single dad is cool though, I would say the first event was far worse to me than that one even though both are atrocious.

SeeFMRP · 2015-01-12T12:01:58+00:00

Let me tell you a story, Reddit. The blue pill that I must have swallowed was shaped like a giant dick. I obviously don't remember it but it must have been good cause i've been on it 29 years.

So here's what happened. This girl from another country came over the break and we hung out for about two weeks. There were scenarios where we were in the same bed, this damn chick was even kissing on me about half that time, in bed.

She had a "boyfriend" and I respected that...When she was at my apt I elected my pussy ass self to sleep on the couch while she slept on my bed. She eventually ended up in my bed to which I made no move.

Over about a two week period we slept in the same bed, but different beds about 5 times. I was so damn horny sitting next to her cuddling up to her those nights it was pure hell. Even on the last night I knew we were going to be together... Get this, get how dense I was......please understand lol.

We are on bunk beds don't ask. Im on bottom shes on top. I think fuck it ill make a move, I go up to heres and just try to lay across the smoothest cuddle I could muster. Worked.. She gets all friendly and says we should go down to the bottom bunk.. Im like why? We are in a bed already.... So I obliged and we did go to the bottom bunk... Things sort of intensified but I felt like if I didn't break out a legitimate move, nothing would happen.. we were embraced, shit was touching, little carreses here and there, kisses on the forehead cheek neck, never anywhere real intimate. I didn't, nothing happened....We were both passing it off as omg we will miss eachother so much, I actually believed that, hah.

I didn't realize until tonight she wanted to move down to the bottm bunk so we can get a proper bang in and not destroy furniture... god im dumb....

Once we parted we talked on the phone in text eventually about us being in the same bed a lot and nothing happening... She was impressed by my fortitude and was proud of it for being a "good guy"

We got on the topic of partners, a bunch of stuff. I tossed out my lowly 8 and she said double that, maybe more. We have bee sexually active fore about the same number of years, 8, because I started of reeaaal slow, you know blue pill shit. However she was with 1 guy for 4 yrs so she managed to pack in lets say 14 in 4 years, that's 3.5 a year with a BF she has now. It just didn't add up, that's like 1 guy a season, excluding her BF now. We got on the topic of cheating, oh I could never she she says.

Dude, we were in the same bed a few days ago literally one gesture from any one of us and im pretty sure you would have cheated....

Im mad at myself for not seeing it and making a move and sleeping with her. I mean that's how it should have been done...

Anyway, I can clearly see the nice guy routine offers me no real benefit.....Ive had the yips for some time and this is the second one I messed up in similar ways.

I have two dates lined up one on sat and on sun, I gotta re evaluate my approach.. any tips???

Mr_Get_Right · 2015-01-12T15:13:19+00:00

Found a cute, nerdy girl that made me feel like I belonged in the world. One day, her love cut off like a switch and she jumped ship for an autistic (literally) rich kid. Oneitis made me tear myself apart trying to make sense of it all.

Spoiler alert: Turns out, I was a morbidly obese asshole racking up student debt while failing classes, just so I could stay immersed in the escapism of video games, porn, and validating myself with my qt pie girlfriend.

The years where I stayed miserable because of it now just feel like it's the same ol' shit that happens every single day. I do get nostalgic for that blissfully ignorant feeling of "love" back then. I still haven't found something that can motivate me like it could.

Polorutz · 2015-01-12T12:52:28+00:00

I'm not unattractive and I have a good job so my SMV is relatively high for my age group.

I met a girl at least 2 points below me in the smv scale and since she had some interesting qualities, great sex, shy girl, didn't party, didn't drink. I decided to go all in.

We moved in together and she started to show a crapload of red flags, OCD, lack of empathy, complete apathy and lack of interest to anything other than herself, etc...

We spent 4 years together where I essentially became her perfect BB, she had one of my debit carde and used to be financially irresponsible, etc... I forgave everything because I loved her and was willing to do everything to make it work. Of course, deferring all decisions to her and carering to her every need completely killed her attraction to me and after 4 years together she cheated on me with the first asshole who gave her tingles.

ShangoThor · 2015-01-12T13:13:34+00:00

Classic college nice guy. thought being friends first was the way to go. i finally admitted my love for her and she told me that she didn't feel the same but to ask her in 3-4 yrs.

Made me realize that what i was doing wasn't working.

jerrytheman1998 · 2015-01-12T13:48:25+00:00

My mom kicked me out at midnight before spring break last year

SnugglySadist · 2015-01-12T14:53:26+00:00

23 years. Was a virgin. Realized after this amount of time there was something wrong with me and not them.

dukeluce · 2015-01-12T12:12:33+00:00

Heartbroken from a girl who dated for 4 months, that was constantly making assumptions of me having other affairs and how she was really into me in a romantic way, while I was starting to have feelings for her.

Based on all her assumptions she wanted me to say what I really feel for her,cause she couldn't continue that way, request to which I didn't respond till next day when I wrote her a letter about every felling she caused me. Made peace again, had sex, she even cried reading the letter and I had tears too.

After some days invited her for coffee, she never responded to that sms.

Turned out she had a fiance in another country and finally moved to his place and never talked to me again.

TheLife_ · 2015-01-12T15:33:42+00:00

TRP was a kind of catalyst for my last LTR breakup. Got the girl by playing perfect alpha game, then lost it about 6 months in. Dead bedroom, daily arguments and a lot of self-hate sent me across the feminist world on a mission to spit hate and arguments. Then I came across mention of TRP.

I clicked it, and was immediately confronted with this site in an earlier iteration now. A couple of weeks of reading, learning and trying to apply didn't help save things, and I for some reason made a major decision.

I broke up with her to pursue this. I haven't looked back since.

xeroskiller · 2015-01-12T15:36:56+00:00

K... Dumped on valentine's day by 3 year+ LTR, start dating a new girl after 2 weeks, get her pregnant two months in, she immediately stops fucking me. two weeks after the baby is born, she dumps me and moves out, telling me "she can do better."

Cue the gym and a lesbian friend who took me out and showed me TRP (without knowing about it) and I'm now able to look back and see that she wasn't good enough for me.

As for /r/theredpill, I think it was mentioned in another sub a while back.

jimbo1215 · 2015-01-12T17:38:10+00:00

I made a thread here the other day describing my experience, and I'm still relatively a noob when it comes to TRP, but I'm 24 with a physical disability. All my life I've felt like I'm at a disadvantage. I've felt like I was damaged goods. Was tired of being alone a couple years ago so I decided to go on OKCupid. Messaged a girl 100 miles away because all the girls in my area had rejected. Wasn't expecting much out of it but it ended up turning into a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. I really loved her because she was the first one to show me that I might be able to succeed with women, and we clung on to each other. Now I realize that wasn't healthy at all as we kind of took advantage of one another

She broke up with me on New Years saying that she's not sure that she loves me the way she used to. I'm thankful she told me but the wound is still fresh. Now I'm trying to use the experience to try to better myself and my mental state. I'm trying to gain the abundance mentality although I feel that it's going to take me a while after the break up hit me so hard.

Our feelings were the exact opposite. She was growing on me. But apparently she saw us fading and wanted to have a chance at what a real relationship felt like where you're not only seeing each other every couple weeks. For that I can't blame her. But it still hurts me. I still want to keep her around for sex, but it's looking like that will be too messy. I intend to use the pain this caused. To try to reshape myself as the best version I can be. The whole thing has caused me to reevaluate every aspect of life. To consider my self worth and stop being so forgiving to other people.

ZenState11 · 2015-01-13T05:04:22+00:00

Met a girl last year. Beautiful, sassy, fine ass. Quickly learned she was emotionally damaged from her recent divorce. That's ok, white knight to the rescue! She had serious self-esteem issues and needed constant reassurances on her beauty and emotional stresses. I fell for it. Within a month I basically lived with her and helped her care for her kids. The thing is, I'm 35 and I never wanted kids until that moment in my life. I felt complete and I settled into the relationship. I was manipulated into oneitis.

Flash forward 4 months, I randomly stopped by on my way home and let myself into her place to say hello. Found her in her bedroom, dressed in lingerie, snapchatting pics to some dude. The fucked up thing was... I didn't dump her right then. I let this go for a couple weeks before she pulled the trigger on me. I was devastated by my inability to cut her loose. What happened to me? I hit rock bottom but immediately went about addressing every insecurity and flaw in my life.

Still on the mend, I got back in the dating game a couple months later. Had several FWB relationships with women and thought I was cured. Then I met a woman that I instantly clicked with. Things were great for a couple weeks until I found out a few details in her life.. her flirtatious behavior at the bars.. her constant need for male attention. That oneitis came back.

I'm currently fighting to reframe my feelings for this woman and I found TRP. This is a pattern in my life that I have to bury.

Formlessnesss · 2015-01-12T10:04:33+00:00

I had this one girl who was just the greatest person I've ever met. Even in my TRP days I still like her better than the rest due to her personality and mindset. It really matches my mindset and we clicked great! I almost fucked her once but got cockblocked by my cousin. After that I just beta'd every interaction and she just wouldn't go back to her wanting to seduce me self like when I first met her. She friend zoned me but I persisted because I like to be persistent in anything in anything I want. Eventually she started dating some other dude and my heart sank because of all the work I put in. She used to hang out with me almost 4 days a week and talked daily. Once with him she stopped talking to me and I'm pretty sure her dude was replying to me for her (the words used in the replies aren't her style of speech). I went into a depressive state where I hated my cousin for Cockblocking me, I hated all women for their selfish ways, I disconnected from all outside communication for 4 months and I listened a lot to eminens songs especially "Kim". Any song Em made that was over the top violent I replayed constantly. I became an asshole to anyone who talked to me. I picked a fight with anyone who's eyeing me (I'm a very efficient martial artist so this was bad for the average joe who stepped up). I went with my gangbanger cousin out to rob houses, people and pocket stuff from stores. I became a drinker and I didn't like to drink before this... At all!!

I sank pretty low but I picked myself up and now I'm the most social person in my town (in my opinion). The plus side is that I became really good atfreestyling because I spent 4 months just writing anything I can think of. This state of mind was actually the beginning of 2014 so it wasn't too long ago. I've never told anyone about this and to this date my family and friends still wonder what I was doing the beginning of that year that I disappeared.

MagicJuggler · 2015-01-12T18:49:32+00:00

I orbited a girl from the Balkans for most last year. Throughout it, she pretty much was a redpillwoman in mindset. Needed someone more aggressive/protective/likes older men/etc. She traveled abroad, we alienated each other. I got over it in...a few days? To her credit, there wasn't an afbb dynamic going on.

After realizing how absurd it was to get emotionally attached to someone so unavailable, and coming to terms that aggression is acceptable, I ended up here. From the outside, trp gives the impression that it's a bunch of he-man woman-haters being conned into buying the latest PUA manual for the low low prices of moneys; yet as society, clickbait articles, and tumblrinas talk ever more about personal/collective guilt, privilege-checking, "the patriarchy", and a whole other host of means to make us hate ourselves (and I genuinely hated myself growing up), seeing a mindset that says "you know what, being a man is great. Go forth and conquer: we have each others' backs" is mentally and emotionally liberating.

Title	How did you get destroyed emotionally before learning about TRP?
Author	Kolume
Upvotes	2
Comments	31
Date	January 12, 2015 8:27 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2s5btp/how_did_you_get_destroyed_emotionally_before/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-did-you-get-destroyed-emotionally-before.145192 https://theredarchive.com/post/145192

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